People

Girl #1: You talk like you’re from an entirely other universe.
Girl #2: I am. It’s called Los Angeles!

–1st Avenue & 6th Street

Overheard by: miss dubin

Girl #1: …and I went on the American Nazi Party website, and it’s–
Girl #2: I know! It’s hysterical.

–26th & Park

Overheard by: Kevin Stone

Hobo: Anyone got a dollar, anyone got a dollar? Anyone got a dollar, anyone got a dollar?
Lady: Here, take $5. Now get off the train. You givin’ us black people a bad name.

–D train

Girl: What happened to the raisinets?
Guy: I turned them into chocolate pudding and sent them to the ocean.
Girl: Ew. I thought you were supposed to be charming.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: brookie

Teen girl: I wouldn’t call me bi but more curious. Nut when I was fooling around with her I thought to myself, “I’d definitely do this again.”

–1 train

Overheard by: Mike Smith

Lady: Excuse me, where is Nathan’s?
Guy: It’s around the corner, asshole.

–South Street Seaport

Chick #1: Ew! Did that man just take our picture with his cameraphone?
Chick #2: Ew! That is so rude! Why would he do that? Don’t look up. Don’t look up!
Man: Don’t flatter yourselves, ladies. A) You’re not nearly that hot, and B) I was sending a text message to my boyfriend.

–M57 bus

Overheard by: Peter S

Old lady: Julian! Get in the elevator, we are holding it for you.
Old man: I am in the elevator, it’s just my ass that was dragging behind.

–Apartment building, 66th & West End

Overheard by: Lubes

Old lady: I’m not moving until the light says go.
Old man: Yeah, you don’t want to get that rundown feeling.

–Crown Heights

Overheard by: Jamie Lloyd

Waiter: I assume you guys are on a date?
Guy #1: Yep.
Waiter: I just love seeing two nice young men together, so I brought you key lime shots to go with the key lime pie. Enjoy.
Guy #2: Bitch, you’ll do anything for alcohol.

–East of Eighth, W. 23rd Street

Filthy man: You three ladies know this dude?
Girl #1: Uh, yeah.
Filthy man: Oh. Okay. ‘Cause I was about to pull out my AK47 and shoot him dead.

The elevator stops.

Filthy man: You all have a nice night.

–Hotel Carter, West 43rd Street

Overheard by: onesong