Hobo: Folks, help me out. I am trying to get my rotor blade fixed on my helicopter!
–W. 10th and 7th Ave
Overheard by: Alex Wipf
Connecticut woman: It was such a joke among my friends; I was always going out with artists or unemployed people…which I guess is the same thing.
–Cuppa Cuppa, East Village
Chick: So you think that by you comin’ at me all gangsta you gonna get my pussy?
–6 train
Overheard by: brian
Player: Yo, I ain’t banged a fat bitch in a while.
–Broadway & Astor Place
Big woman: He looks like a bean…he has no ass!
–Kate Spade, Broome St.
Overheard by: wermice
Guy on cell: …so then he just punched me, yeah! Just punched me right in the face. Well I figured I oughta get dressed and leave her room, yeah, he was pissed…No, she’s his only kid.
–Empire State Building
Teen #1: …yeah, so now Saddam Hussein’s on trial or whatever, and like–
Teen #2: Whoa, whoa! They captured Saddam Hussein?! When did this happen?!
Teen #1: Like a year ago, dumbass. Jeez you’re slow. Anyway–
–1/9 34th St. Station
Man: I never met a necrophiliac, but my friend met one at Bellevue.
–La Grolla, UWS
Crazy guy: I have fallen off the earth and been plastered to the moon! But I’m back.
Cellmate: Uh huh.
Crazy guy: It’s hard to piss out your stomach when they’re tracking
your shoes.
Cellmate: Yup.
–Central booking, Centre Street
Overheard by: the holding cell across from them
Chick #1: So was he cute?
Chick #2: He was cute enough.
Chick #1: What does that mean?
Chick #2: I mean, like, I wouldn’t lick his butt or anything.
Chick #1: Ew!
Chick #2: Oh, like you never licked a guy’s butt!
Chick #1: I should never have told you that.
–3rd Avenue & 11th Street
Overheard by: Manhattman
Drunk girl, to owner of pizza place: Hasta mañana!
Drunk guy: That’s not Italian!
Drunk girl: He’s not Italian, he’s Greek! He speaks Yiddish and Greek!
–30th & 3rd
Guy #1: He’s always dressed in Gucci, Versace, and all that shit.
Guy #2: Nigga, if I was skinny I’d wear nice stuff too.
Guy #1: Yeah, I’m sure it’s your weight that’s keeping you from wearing Gucci.
–Queensboro Plaza station
Overheard by: Preebz
