European guy: I just saw Sven, that weird Swedish guy, an hour ago. Thought he already left?
American guy: I've come to the conclusion that maybe Scandinavians aren't human after all –just robots from the future.
–N Train
European guy: I just saw Sven, that weird Swedish guy, an hour ago. Thought he already left?
American guy: I've come to the conclusion that maybe Scandinavians aren't human after all –just robots from the future.
–N Train
Girl #1: I didn't know your grandmother had cancer.
Girl #2: Of course she had cancer! Why else would she have only one boob?
Girl #1: Is this the mean one or the fat one?
Girl #2: The mean one.
–Kimmel Center Elevator, NYU
Overweight girl: Well, he obviously liked being fucked by me.
Skinny girl: It's cause you're fat.
Overweight girl: He did say he liked big girls. Whatever, I'm over him.
Skinny girl: Yeah, his dick was little anyways.
Overweight girl: And you know this… how?!
–SoHo
Overheard by: Katelyn Jones
Little girl with accent, pointing to picture of hot dog: Do you like hot dog?
Dad: No.
Little girl: Why? Because it's dog?
–Jackson Heights
Overheard by: Jobee
Woman: Have you ever been to Chelsea piers?
Man: No, I can’t say I have.
Woman: Oh. It’s wonderful. It has a great view of New Jersey.
Man: (sounding disgusted) Oh. (feigning interest) New Jersey, huh?
–Elevator, 25th & 8th
Dude: Does Janus like food?
Girl: What?
Dude: Is he into eating?
Girl: I've… eaten… with him… before.
–Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Jon A.
Guy: How was the weekend? Were the kids well-behaved?
Woman: It was fine, they were great.
Guy: How was Max at night? He sometimes gets lonely and starts crying.
Woman: Hmm, I don’t know. I locked them out of my room.
Guy, yelling: You what?!? How could you? You know how they are at night!
[pause.]Woman, unruffled: They are pets. Not kids. Pets. And I don’t sleep with dogs that weigh more than I do.
–Starbucks, 20th St & 6th Ave
Blond lady who lunches #1: What the fuck is it with the kids these days and their fucking vampires?
Blond lady who lunches #2: Fucking Twilight.
–Madison Avenue
Overheard by: LES girl trying not to laugh
Guy: You could try working out.
Girl: I do work out.
Guy: Are you going to take that hip-hop class?
Girl: No.
Guy: I think I’m going to take that hip-hop class just so I can serve you. I’m going to go down there and serve you.
–3rd Avenue & 11th Street
