Mailman: I’m sorry sir, but I don’t know where this package is. It was undeliverable. It is not here.
Human man: I know. This is the third time I’ve been down here. So what do you want me to do?
Mailman: Sir?
Human man: What do you want me to do? Give up, keep coming back?
Mailman: Yes.
Human man: What? Give up?
Mailman: Yes.
Human man: You’re serious?
Mailman: Yes.
–Post office, 34th & Lexington
Overheard by: Fish
High school girl #1: Rachel*, do you really find that man attractive?
High school girl #2: His personality is perfect!
High school girl #1: He is 50 years old!
High school girl #2: So?
High school girl #3: Yeah, I second that: so what?
–Central Park
Headline by: Tom
Runners-Up:
· “His Money Doesn’t Look a Day Over 20” – Nik
· “Mr. Belding Only Got Better with Age” – RBNY
· “Now, Let’s Make a Pact to Be Impregnated by Him…” – T
· “Who Says Santa Can’t Be a Babe Magnet?” – Nael B
· “You Might Want to Check the Expiration Date on That Personality” – kenderbard
Dad to seven-year old son, pointing at 30 Rock: That's the building where Liz Lemon works.
Seven-year old son: Where's Kenneth!?
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: cat
Starbucks barista: Sorry, we're all out of bananas. Would you like to try something else?
Beach bum tanning girl: But I never drink anything from here that doesn't have bananas.
Starbucks barista: Well, we have some bananas in the back, but they still look green.
Beach bum tanning girl, clearly confused: If they're green on the outside, does that mean they're green on the inside too?
–Starbucks, Staten Island
Overheard by: Jacqueline Battaglia
20-something male with slight accent: Man, this is bloody annoying.
Middle aged male: You know, I've been meaning to ask. Are you British?
20-something male with slight accent: I'm from Texas, you wanker.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Locational
Teen #1: Where is Flushing-Main Street?
Teen #2: In the Bronx.
Teen #1: What's the Bronx?
Teen #2: It's one of the five boroughs. You know: Manhattan, the Bronx, Staten Island, Long Island…and some other one.
Suit: Oh god, I'm out of here.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Ashamed to be from the
Frat guy #1: So how do you think you did on your history exam?
Sorostitute: I don’t want to talk about it.
Frat guy #1: Oh come on, it can’t be that bad.
Frat guy #2: She thought World War II happened in the 1970s.
–NYU
Overheard by: Seriously.
European guy: I just saw Sven, that weird Swedish guy, an hour ago. Thought he already left?
American guy: I've come to the conclusion that maybe Scandinavians aren't human after all –just robots from the future.
–N Train
Girl #1: I didn't know your grandmother had cancer.
Girl #2: Of course she had cancer! Why else would she have only one boob?
Girl #1: Is this the mean one or the fat one?
Girl #2: The mean one.
–Kimmel Center Elevator, NYU
