Parts Of Wednesday One-Liners Are Really Quite Nice

Irate professional woman on cell: I raced down to Penn Station to buy a ticket to New Jersey, and now you tell me you're going to Hooters?

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Erin and Willa

Blonde hipster: I knew I needed to get out of there when I heard her saying, "we should go to that bar next because it's near the PATH!"

–Rivington & Essex

Train conductor: The next stop is Park Place. Transfer is available to the a, c, e and PATH to Newwwwwwwwwww Jersey. I also have wonderful news that I am dying to tell you today. All 2 and 3 trains are making local stops this weekend. There are no express trains because of service changes.

–2 Train

Girl, interrupting singing couple: Guys, we need to class it up, we are not in Jersey anymore!

–5th Ave & 86th

Overheard by: GerMan in NY

Four-year-old boy: I don't wanna go to New Jersey!

–New Jersey Transit Terminal, Penn Station

Hipster: But you were in New Jersey when you got pregnant, it's okay.

–1st & St. Mark's

Posted on January 24, 2015
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, All Wednesday One-Liners, Conductors, Couples, Directions, Food, Girls, Hipsters, Kids, Lower East Side, NYC Geography, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Only in New York, Penn Station, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Public Transportation, Questions, Street, Train Station, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Well It's Not Like It's Bergdorf's.

Husky chucklehead boyfriend: Yo! Would it be bad to take a dump in Filene's Basement?!
Preoccupied girlfriend: Ummmm…

–Filene's Basement, Union Square

Overheard by: TMI

Posted on January 24, 2015
Boyfriends, Default, Etiquette, Girlfriends, Poop, Questions, Store, Union Square and East Village

Worth Waiting for the Post-Game Recap

Suit #1: So, when are you meeting him downtown?
Suit #2: I don’t know. It depends on when he gets done having sex with Gabrielle.
Suit #1: That doesn’t sound too bad!

–32nd St

Posted on January 23, 2015
Default, Murray Hill and Gramercy, NYC Geography, Questions, Sex & Relationships, Suits, Time

Because You Made a Deposit and Lost Interest?

Hipster teen: Are you pissing on that building?
Rich teen with faux fur coat: Welcome to the recession, buddy!

–42nd St

Overheard by: I want a m6

Posted on January 23, 2015
Hipsters, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Pee, Questions, Rich people, Teens, Weirdness

My School Has an Appellate Division

Eight-year-old boy, carrying real but child-size golf clubs: I have two lawyers, don’t I daddy?
Father: Yes.
Eight-year-old friend: I have three.

–18th & Broadway

Posted on January 23, 2015
Always Bringing it Back to You!, Boys, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Dads, Default, Friends, Kids, Questions, Rich people

I Think We've Stumbled Upon the Idea for a Sci-Fi Flick

Girl #1: What do you call a person who delivers newspapers?
Girl #2: A “delivery person.”
Girl #1: Fine, be the non-conformist.
Girl #2: What would the conformist say?
Girl #1: “Paperboy,” and then get confused because what if it's an old woman?
Girl #2: Oh right, so, “paper person.” But then it sounds like those paper people chains I used to make as a kid, except mine were always awful and deformed…because you make one little mistake and then they're all fucked up. Suddenly I've got a chain of twenty-one legged freaks and can't sleep at night.
Girl #1: “Twenty one-legged freaks.” Not “twenty-one legged freaks.”
Girl #2: Though both terrifying.
Girl #1: The heck you talking about?

–Union Square