Girl: When I found out he was all about sex, the crush was all over.
Dude: Oh, come on. I’m sure he’s more mature now.
Girl: Why are you trying to pawn me off on all these guys? I mean, come on, sex is not cool.
Dude: Why are we friends?
–Cafe Esperanto
Guy: So, you don't worship Satan?
Girl: I don't believe in Satan.
Guy: So, you're an atheist?
–7 Train
Overheard by: Starisla
Teen boy #1: Hey, where is it?
Teen girl: The dildo shop is that way!
Teen boy #2: Yes! Dildos! Oh yeah! We gonna have some fucking fun tonight!
–8th & 6th
Overheard by: A teen who also likes dildos
Chica on cell: He was just white. Like, a white guy. Except Puerto Rican.
–Park Terrace West, Inwood
Overheard by: Gringo Starr
Puerto Rican thug to another, both wearing Puerto Rican flag bandanas as face masks: White people better get used to us. There be like 80 billion of us in the world… Or maybe 8 thousand of us…at least.
–F Train
Overheard by: Brent
Teen on cell: Wait, you're in Puerto Rico? I'll be right there, that's by Chinatown, right? What do you mean it's an island? Like Staten Island? How the fuck did you get there?
–Colombus Circle
Overheard by: Graham Davis
JAP on phone: He called me a clingy JAP! How fucking low! I could've easily pulled the "you're-a-Puerto-Rican-from-Staten-Island" card.
–92nd & 5th
Guy (shouting): Hey guys! You like Puerto Ricans?!
–Times Square
Overheard by: CytoFox
Dad on scooter with eight-year-old girl: I don't want to hear that… Don't fuckin' push me, Joanna! You are not black, you are Puerto Rican!
–Flatbush & Fulton
Overheard by: Chelsea
Dude #1: Do you think it’s possible to write a book and then find out it’s just like another book?
Dude #2: Yeah… That happened with my musical about the Nazis…
–114th & Broadway
Overheard by: HuntingSnark
Tourist #1, pointing to an anti-war protest in Times Square: What's that?
Tourist #2: I think it's TRL.
–43rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Mike Fish
Counter lady #1: Do I have something on my face?
Counter lady #2: Yeah. Evilness.
–Cafe 212, Columbia University
Overheard by: Ariz
[After being asked for full fare.]Ghetto woman: No, ma’am! I do not have to pay! Did you forget about Abraham Lincoln in 1856, I mean 1865? He freed the slaves! Guess you forgot!
Assistant conductor: I still need the full fare, ma’am!
Ghetto woman: No, ma’am! I still don’t see my reparations! Where’s my check?!?! Where’s my 40 acres and a mule?!?!
–Metro North
Overheard by: Laughing Whitey
Man in line for next available salesperson at Old Navy: Who wants a piece of this?
Next available salesperson: Next in line?
Man: That's what I'm talking about!
–Old Navy, 6th Ave
Little kid after ‘death’ mentioned in movie: Dad? What’s death?
Dad: [Silence]Little kid: Hey, Dad?
Dad: I’ll tell you after the movie.
–Downtown movie theater
Overheard by: Dylan
