Make Womb for Wednesday One-Liners

Suit on phone: I don't think she knows. (pause) But it's just a night job! (pause) No, there's no way I'm pregnant. (pause) Why not?! Because I'm a man, goddammit!

–Starbucks

Woman on cell: So remember that time I thought I had that miscarriage?

–Grand Concourse & Fordham Road

Overheard by: Erica S

Slightly overweight girl: Thank you for the offer, sweetie, but I'm not pregnant. I'm just fat!

–M100 Bus

Overheard by: Tinathetiny

Tall girl on cell: No way! I thought *you* were going to impregnate *me*. I wanna have *your* children.

–Prince & Broadway

Overheard by: Ken Paprocki

Posted on March 20, 2022
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bus, Diet/Weight, Fat People, Gender issues, Girls, Jobs & Careers, Kids, On Cell, On the Bus, One-liners, Physical appearance, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Questions, Soho, Starbucks, Street, Stupidity, Suits, The Bronx, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Extra Points to Those Readers Who Can Remember the Actor's Name.

Man #1, pointing to hobo with Down's Syndrome: Hey, that's that one guy from that tv show…
Man #2: Who? That bum?
Man #1: Yeah, that's that whatsits–that Corky guy. Y'know, with the mongoloid syndrome.
Man #2: Wow…

–Houston & Varick

Overheard by: Houston Lunch

Posted on March 20, 2022
Homeless, Men, Questions, Retardation, The Village, TV

Already Taken Care Of

Clerk #1: Did you know that there are a whole bunch of copies of Atlas Shrugged in the Bestsellers section?
Clerk #2: Yeah.
Clerk #1: Is it okay if I pee on them?

–Info desk, Strand Bookstore

Posted on March 17, 2022
Books & Writing, Clerks, Coworkers, Pee, Questions, Store, Talking/Convos

The Square Of the Hypotitties Is Equal to the Sum Of the Squares Of the Other Two Girls

Girl #1: Wait, how many boobs are usually on three girls?
Girl #2: Six.

–Bleecker St

Overheard by: anna

Posted on March 14, 2022
Girls, Questions, Rack, Science, The Village

Takes Time to Get Used to the Vestigial Tail, Though

Girl: Why do you like her so much?
Guy: She's just so weird-looking!

–NYU

Posted on March 13, 2022
Girls, Guys, NYU, Physical appearance, Questions, Weirdness

Wednesday 1:00-Liners

Dude, in front of closed Staples: Staples doesn't open until fucking noon? What are we, in a goddamn small town? Noon? Am I supposed to be in fucking church right now? God!

–Meeker St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Simon

Girl on cell: Because I don't function in the world of time so well.

–7th Ave b/w 27th & 28th St

Overheard by: John C

Pilot on PA: JetBlue welcomes you to New York City, where the local time is 1:40… 1:45… Kinda… I think.

–JFK

Law student to another: What time is it in the real world?

–Fordham Law School

Posted on March 12, 2022
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Church, Fordham, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Insults, JFK Airport, On Cell, One-liners, Pilots, Questions, Street, Students, Time, Wednesday One-Liners

Avril Lavigne's Back in Town

Drunk girl: Do you skateboard?
Random guy: Yeah.
Drunk girl: Do you own a skateboard?
Random guy: Yeah.
Drunk girl: Do you wanna have sex on your skateboard?

–4th & Ave C

Overheard by: Shani

Posted on March 11, 2022
Default, Drunks, Girls, Guys, Offers and requests, Questions, Sex, Sports, Union Square and East Village

She's My Lover and My Gym Partner

Guy #1: Why do you have Stacey's number under “dude-bro”?
Guy #2: Uhm…because she looks like a dude, bro.

–14th St

Overheard by: That's unfortunate

Posted on March 8, 2022
Gender issues, Guys, Nicknames & name calling, Physical appearance, Questions, Street

You Don't Know Much About Sex Work, Do You?

Man: So he was like, a male prostitute?
Woman: Yeah.
Man: He must have been a pretty good lookin' guy!

–40th St & 7th Ave

Posted on February 28, 2022
Beauty, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Physical appearance, Prostitution, Questions, Women

Don’t They Know They Can’t Jump?

Teen kid #1: Yo white people have too much free time to do stupid shit.
Teen kid #2: Yeah, I know: like jump off 30-story buildings, like those two kids.
Teen kid #1: Yeah, I once saw this white guy who tried to jump over a car and got split in two, like the car was coming at him, and he tried to jump, but it hit him and split him in two pieces right down the middle.
Teen kid #2: For real, you saw that happen?
Teen kid #1: Yeah.
Teen kid #2: Like in person, you saw it happen?
Teen kid #1: Yeah, I saw it happen in person on TV last night.

–5 Train

Overheard by: b

Posted on February 27, 2022
Accidents, Black People, Boys, Death, Default, Insults, On the Subway, Questions, Race, Stupidity, Teens, TV, Weirdness, Words

Questions