Girl #1: I just don’t know what he sees in me.
Girl #2: Maybe the same thing you see in him.
Girl #1: Well, I like him because his dad’s a mortician.
–Park Slope
Girl #1: I just don’t know what he sees in me.
Girl #2: Maybe the same thing you see in him.
Girl #1: Well, I like him because his dad’s a mortician.
–Park Slope
Tourist #1: I wonder how they build streets on top of the subways.
Tourist #2: Hmm. You think they're strong enough that they can support the street all by themselves?
Tourist #1, after some thought: Nah, there's gotta be a layer of dirt between them or something.
–42nd & Lexington
Overheard by: Matt
Girl: So, can you beatbox?
Guy: No, but I can make elephant noises. [Makes elephant noises.]
–Savoia
College intern hitting friend with magic wand: Naked Bitch with big titties.
Little kid: Is that a real magic wand?!
–FAO Schwartz
Yelling wife: You made a promise. You're my husband.
Husband: Can we do this later?
Yelling wife: No, I made the worst mistake of my life marrying you. Take your ring… go.
–F Train
Ghetto guy #1: Yo man, you know what I want right now?
Ghetto guy #2: Pussy?
Ghetto guy #1: Naw man, one of those falafels.
Ghetto guy #2: Not pussy?
Ghetto guy #1, lifting hands up like scale: Man, falafel. Pussy. Pussy. Falafel. I'd take that falafel any day. (pause) Does that make me gay?
–Q Train
Thuggette to random Latina girl: That's right, keep walkin' bitch! I'll throw yo' ass in the trash right 'bout now!
Thug: Can't we act civilized just for like, five minutes?
Thuggette: Fuck you, nigga!
–Times Square Subway Station
Overheard by: Tim
Suit on phone: I don't think she knows. (pause) But it's just a night job! (pause) No, there's no way I'm pregnant. (pause) Why not?! Because I'm a man, goddammit!
–Starbucks
Woman on cell: So remember that time I thought I had that miscarriage?
–Grand Concourse & Fordham Road
Overheard by: Erica S
Slightly overweight girl: Thank you for the offer, sweetie, but I'm not pregnant. I'm just fat!
–M100 Bus
Overheard by: Tinathetiny
Tall girl on cell: No way! I thought *you* were going to impregnate *me*. I wanna have *your* children.
–Prince & Broadway
Overheard by: Ken Paprocki
Man #1, pointing to hobo with Down's Syndrome: Hey, that's that one guy from that tv show…
Man #2: Who? That bum?
Man #1: Yeah, that's that whatsits–that Corky guy. Y'know, with the mongoloid syndrome.
Man #2: Wow…
–Houston & Varick
Overheard by: Houston Lunch
Clerk #1: Did you know that there are a whole bunch of copies of Atlas Shrugged in the Bestsellers section?
Clerk #2: Yeah.
Clerk #1: Is it okay if I pee on them?
–Info desk, Strand Bookstore
