Wednesday One-Liners Cunt Hardly Wait

Thuggette: She just went in there to scoop her vagina out and then she came back.

–Hudson River Park

Teenage girl on cell: Yeah, I got a Brazilian wax for the first time yesterday. And now I'm afraid of the power of my own vagina.

–1 Train

Overheard by: westchester girl

Adorable little girl: I was born in 2002, from my mom's vagina.

–New York Harbor

Overheard by: Barry P.

Man to woman: Ohhhh, is she the one with maggots in her vagina?

–51st & 9th

Overheard by: Highstein

Chick on cell: Tell her to put that in her pipe and smoke it. Or even better, in her vagina. (sarcastically) Ooh, penetration!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Poogins

Very large black man: My penis' jus' as impo-tant as her vagina.
Small meek white man: (nods in agreement or fear)

–A Train

Posted on April 20, 2022
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Compare/Contrast, Fears, Girls, Hudson River, Kids, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, Parks, Penis, Penn Station, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Questions, Teens, Thugs, Vagina, Waxing, Weirdness

The Mole Ruins Another Challenge

Queer #1: Okay, the question is, would you do Anderson Cooper?
Queer #2: I’d do him.
Queer #3: I’d do him too.
Queer #4: I wouldn’t do him.
Queer #5: I so wouldn’t do him.
Queer #6: I would do him.
Queer #1: I wouldn’t do him. Can anyone count? Was it a tie? Shit. Now what?

–Food Bar, 8th Avenue

Overheard by: Laight

Posted on April 19, 2022
About Celebrities, Queer guys, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Sex, Stupidity, Talking/Convos

Love Means Never Having to Say “I'm Puking”

Spanish thug #1: I'm all about love, man, but I never say it, like, I loved my ex.
Spanish thug #2: What is love? And not the general meaning of it.
Spanish thug #1: It's like feeling sick to your stomach. (pause) Right?
Spanish thug #2: Yeah, that's good.

–Q27 Bus

Overheard by: trying to read in peace

Posted on April 16, 2022
Body Parts, Bus, Compare/Contrast, Latinos, Love, On the Bus, Philosophy, Questions, Thugs

…What Are You, a Terrorist?

College guy: Is that free cotton candy?
College girl: I don't know.
College guy: Oh no, you gotta pay for it.
College girl: Come on, let's go.
College guy: I don't even like cotton candy.
College girl: Then why did you make us stop?
College guy: Did you not hear me say “free”?

–St. Mark's Place

Posted on April 16, 2022
Food, Free stuff!, Money & Class, Questions, Students, Union Square and East Village

My Prose, for Instance.

Chef, checking to make sure everyone has washed their hands: Are you sterile?
Older man: In more ways than one.

–Rustico Cooking Studio

Overheard by: Lobster

Posted on April 15, 2022
Bosses, Health and Hygiene, Old People, Questions, School

Also Because You're Wearing Short-shorts and Rollerskates

Teenage boy #1: All I'm saying is it's false advertising. If you suck dick, you should say you suck dick.
Teenage boy #2: But then everyone will think you're a fag.
Teenage boy #3: No, no way. You're telling me that just because I meet a guy whose dick I want to suck, people will think I'm a fag?

–The Loop, Prospect Park, Brooklyn

Overheard by: octopus

Posted on April 14, 2022
BJs, Brooklyn, Gays and Lesbians, Lies, Penis, Questions, Teens, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Girls Will Do Anything for a Free Makeover

Girl #1: I just don’t know what he sees in me.
Girl #2: Maybe the same thing you see in him.
Girl #1: Well, I like him because his dad’s a mortician.

–Park Slope

Posted on April 11, 2022
Creepsters, Death, Family Ties, Girls, Jobs & Careers, Park Slope, Questions, Sex & Relationships

In Little Italy, There's a Layer of Earwax

Tourist #1: I wonder how they build streets on top of the subways.
Tourist #2: Hmm. You think they're strong enough that they can support the street all by themselves?
Tourist #1, after some thought: Nah, there's gotta be a layer of dirt between them or something.

–42nd & Lexington

Overheard by: Matt