Random guy to two girls: Hey, are you from NYU?
Girl: Yeah.
Random guy: Murderers!
–3rd Ave & 11th St
Random guy to two girls: Hey, are you from NYU?
Girl: Yeah.
Random guy: Murderers!
–3rd Ave & 11th St
Confused student: Wait, who did Obama run against?
Smart student: McCain!
Confused student I though Bush ran against McCain.
Smart student: No! Bush and McCain are in the same party.
Confused student: Right. (pause) Wait, Bush is a Republican?
–High School
Guy #1: Yeah, we lived together for a couple of months.
Guy #2: Where at?
Guy #1: Rikers.
–F Train
Girl #1: Did you hear about that thing in Africa?
Girl #2: What thing?
Girl #1: About how there aren't enough female elephants, so the males started raping rhinos.
Girl #2: Wow, I knew Africa was fucked up, but even the animals go around raping and stuff. What a messed up country!
–Wagner College
Young girl: Are you Jewish?
Thirty-something guy in suit: No. Are you?
Young girl: No.
Thirty-something guy in suit: Why? Is that a prerequisite for a one night stand?
Young girl: Am I seriously hearing this?
–Blind Pig, 14th St
Overheard by: Seventh Floor Walk-up
Tourist woman to husband: Is it all vegetarian?
Guy waiting in doorway: Uh… Yeah.
Tourist woman: Oh. That makes sense.
–Outside Vegeterian Dim Sum, Chinatown
Overheard by: Brok
Large group of people dressed like Santa: What do we want? Christmas! When do we want it? Now!
–Washington Square
Overheard by: TR
Gay guy on cell: You don't want to see white Christmas. Honey, you don't understand… That was the whitest Christmas I have ever seen.
–Broadway & 43rd
20-something woman to 20-something guy, in April: It wouldn't be Christmas without you.
–Stromboli's Pizza
Mom to child yelling at her: Who do you think you're talking to? That's it, Christmas is over for you!
–135th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Yowza
Normal-looking woman to no one in particular: Look at Santa. The same letters as "Satan." Do you think Christmas has anything to do with Jesus? Where in the Bible does it say Jesus was born on December 24th? I tell you, Santa is Satan.
–Xmas Tree Stand, High School
Staples employee, in response to radio: Man! I want to move to Vietnam, or Pakistan, or wherever the fuck they don't care about Christmas.
–Staples, Union Square
Overheard by: Damon H.
Man to friend during interval: Have you heard about the Scientology Christmas pageant?
–Carnegie Hall
Man with entourage: So I killed one just before I went to sleep. (entourage laughs) Yeah, and I left it on her ceiling as a warning.
–Bleecker & Broadway
Dude walking down street: And if I kill him, I'm certified to bring him back to life…
–Brooklyn
Old man to another: You know, I don't even give a shit if I die anymore!
–E 84th St
Girl to friend: Why would you put the poison in milk?
–Union Square
Overheard by: Michela
20-something guy: Fucking corduroy! I've gotta tell ya, I fucking love corduroy! I swear to god, I'd kill for corduroy!
–J.Crew Men's Store
Overheard by: Pedro
Guy to girlfriend: How can you be really scared for 2012 when you thought it was 2013?
–Franklin & Eastern Parkway
Seven-year-old boy on bike, turning corner into small white dog: Shoooooooooooot son, that dog just scared the black out of me!
–Nostrand Ave & Prospect Pl
Overheard by: melyssalaree
Crazy guy, after screaming unintelligibly in 20-something's face: It's cool, I'm supposed to scare people! I'm the anti-Christ!
–Ave A b/w 5th & 6th St
Girl: I'm really scared I'm gonna be a sex addict. Like, I'm hoping it won't happen, but it probably will.
–High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Girl on bench, to guy in whose arms she is snuggled: Get your shit together and decide if you like men or women before you come around trying to date me!
–Battery Park
Woman to friend: What's with all these bi-colored, bi-curious tomatoes?
–Farmers Market, Union Square
Overheard by: Dave
Thug on cell: Yo! You didn't know that? (pause) Yeah man, he love pussy, but he love dick too!
–6th St b/w 1st & 2nd Ave
Drunk blonde: I like both black guys and white guys. Does that make me bi?
–Joshua Tree Bar, Hell's Kitchen
Overheard by: Mon
