Drunk girl on date: You're not going to be allowed in my apartment tonight.
Lame guy on date: Oh really? Why is that?
Drunk girl on date: Because when I drink, I lose my ambition.
–Lower East Side
Drunk girl on date: You're not going to be allowed in my apartment tonight.
Lame guy on date: Oh really? Why is that?
Drunk girl on date: Because when I drink, I lose my ambition.
–Lower East Side
Guy #1: I like her, but her personality is a bit blah…
Guy #2: She has a hot body, though.
Guy #1: Yeah, but you know who else has a hot body?
Guy #2: Me?
–University Place
Hot girl on cell: You got cockblocked by cancer! (pause, then very seriously) Is your pussy still radioactive?
–Upper East Side
Grown man talking to grown woman: You know the sandy vagina?
–32nd & 8th
Street man to slutty-looking hipsters: Freeze! Drop your drawers! We've got your pussy surrounded!
–2nd Ave
Overheard by: Maureen
30-something woman on cell: I like to use a blowdryer on the… uh… vaginas.
–D Train
Girl, screaming into cell: No, I will not give you my vagina!
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Can I borrow it?
Teenage girl to friend: Boyfriends are so overrated, except not really because I really want one.
–Lincoln Center
Guy: I don't care if her new boyfriend is god–I will kick his ass!
–Church St
Overheard by: Steve
Guy to friend: Yeah, she's in Jamaica. How fucked up is that? She's 20 and in Jamaica with her boyfriend. I'm 25 and I'm standing on a train next to you.
–Metro-North
Art student: I wanna write a diary, like, "8:45, kill boyfriend."
–NYU
Man on street selling knockoff perfume: C'mon ladies, buy this perfume. It will help you get a boyfriend! Don't get a cheap boyfriend, get some cheap perfume!
–34th & 7th
Overheard by: Kiran
Girl to friend: From now on, I am only having sex with one boyfriend.
–Marlow & Sons
Loud bar patron, reading new item on menu: Anybody know what artisan cheese is? Anybody at all? (mutters) Shit man, this is Astoria, we don't know no artisan cheese.
–Astoria
Overheard by: Jesse
Guy: He said "when you cum yourself." I looked at him and said "that is not how you say that."
–Hunter College
Overheard by: Jill
Girl to friend: So, you see, I was right! It's spelled w-h-e-r-e!
–McDonald's
Guy: And stop trying to rhyme words with other words.
–16th St & 8th Ave
Guy to girl: I am really into words, especially long ones. I love them, and like, collect them. There is a word for people like that, but it's pretty long, so I can't remember it.
–Q Train
Overheard by: Eavesdropper
Lady: He doesn't speak English good, so he gots deported.
–Park Slope
College girl to friend, disappointed: You know? I only made out with one of them…
–NYU Dorm
(hobo shakes can with change and interrupts couple in heated makeout session)
Bitchy girlfriend, shrieking: Seriously? Seriously? Are you seriously asking me now? We're in the middle of making out. Seriously?
–Ave B & 7th St
Overheard by: friend of the mole people
Guido to another: When you're makin' out, the next thing you know, you could be bangin'.
–Staten Island
Girl to guy friend: Once you get married, we are never going to be able to make out anymore.
–Houston & Mulberry
Man to friend: It's like that time I saw two women on walkers making out. I love New York!
–45th & 10th
Overheard by: Drunk
Black guy to black girl: Are you a lesbian?
Black girl: Ha ha! No.
Black guy: What, you don't like pussy?
Black girl: No.
Black guy: I like pussy, why don't you show me yours?
Latina girl: Sit down.
(black guy sits down, Latina girl puts hands in his pants)
–Uptown 2 Train
Crazy man: I would like to see that Hermes (pronounces it Her-MEES) scarf.
Man selling scarves and necklaces: It's pronounced air-mess. If you can't pronounce it, you probably can't afford it.
Crazy man: But in Greek it's pronounced Her-MEES.
Man selling scarves and necklaces: That has nothing to do with this scarf. The French can call it whatever they want.
Crazy man, to himself as he walks away: The French? The french with their Louis XIV wanting to be called the Sun King? What do the French know? They just came out of the ice! They don't know anything about anything!
Man selling scarves and necklaces, to himself: If you can't prononuce it, you can't afford it. That's funny.
–17th & 6th
Overheard by: Siena
Salesgirl: And this is the Carol's Daughter line of hair and body products. The creator named it after her mother, Carol.
Sarcastic customer: Really? Wow, I'd never imagine that.
Salesgirl, not getting sarcasm: Yeah, isn't that really cool?
–Sephora, W 34th St
Overheard by: nisey79
Girl #1: Wait, I thought you didn't eat meat?
Girl #2: I'm a pescetarian.
Girl #1: Oh. Aren't you Jewish?
–Sushi Samba, Park Ave
