Older gentlemen: How much did this boat cost?
Younger guy: 1.6 billion dollars. It’s the only boat of its kind.
Older gentlemen: Well that ain’t for us; we think it’s for us but it’s for the tourists…
–The Guy Molinari
Overheard by: Lou
Older gentlemen: How much did this boat cost?
Younger guy: 1.6 billion dollars. It’s the only boat of its kind.
Older gentlemen: Well that ain’t for us; we think it’s for us but it’s for the tourists…
–The Guy Molinari
Overheard by: Lou
Hobo: Can I ask you a Republican question?
Girl: Yes.
Hobo: Do you like Christmas?
–1 train
Chick #1: Did you make out with a hooker?
Dude: I didn't *make out* with anyone!
Chick #2: Did you seventh-grade kiss a hooker?
Chick #1: Did you seventh-grade *think* about kissing a hooker?
Dude: I didn't even know she was a hooker until twenty minutes into our conversation!
–F Train
Hipster dude: Do you guys carry any men’s shoes?
Salesgirl: Yes, they’re on the wall behind you.
Hipster dude: Do you have any straight guy shoes?
–Barney’s, Madison Avenue
(guy sits next to perfect stranger)
Guy: Are you dating someone?
Girl: No.
Guy: Can I have your number?
Girl: No.
Guy: Is it because I’m black?
Girl: Of course not.
Guy: Is it because you’re a lesbian?
–C Train
Guy on cell: So how many Mexicans are trying to seduce you?
–46th & 8th
Overheard by: Ethan
20-something chick: Sea captains doing table-service is never okay.
–A Train
Overheard by: Ladle
Lady on Bluetooth: Well, if you prove to everyone that your vagina is as wide as an ocean, then go ahead!
–Brooklyn
Teenage girl to friend: So, I heard back from the lifeguard application. (pauses, then utterly bewildered) I need to know how to swim!
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: totheworld
Loud woman on escalator: No, you don't get it. When you're under water, you're not wet.
–Queens Center Mall
Overheard by: Burning Vegan
Middle-aged man watching seven-year old swimming deftly in shallow end: Oh, yeah? Well, I can drive. Can you? My feet can touch the bottom. Can yours?
–CUNY Swim Class
Overheard by: obyun
Little girl: Where’s mommy?
Father: I told you, sweetie. Mommy’s getting her new tattoo.
–10 St & 6th Ave
Woman: How do we know where it is?
Man: That guy said it's at the end of the street.
Woman: Yeah, well, where does the street end?
–Outside of St James Theatre
Overheard by: howdumbareyou
Asian tourist: Excuse me. Excuse me!
Guy: Yeah?
Asian tourist, pointing at random building: Is that the Empire State Building?!
Guy: Yes.
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Priscilla Perez
