[Teenage girl spills water and it soaks guy’s pants.]Wet pants boy: My pants are wet!
Girl: Well, what did you expect from me?
Wet pants boy: Not to get my pants soaking wet, that’s what!
–Diner, Upper East Side
[Teenage girl spills water and it soaks guy’s pants.]Wet pants boy: My pants are wet!
Girl: Well, what did you expect from me?
Wet pants boy: Not to get my pants soaking wet, that’s what!
–Diner, Upper East Side
Girl: What do you want me to do? I can do anything, that’s why I get acting jobs.
Boy: I can’t think of anything.
Girl: I can do anything; I can do anything you want me to do and I can do it well.
–69th St
Headline by: Moon
Runners-Up:
· “And Yet, You’re Not on Your Knees…” – Katie Darling
· “Before You Pick Up the Hooker, Have a Plan” – CV
· “Kim Possible Breaks Out the Dirty Talk” – john
· “Like Getting Me a Drink Menu?” – phox
· “Looks Like I Just Might Finally Get My Roof Fixed” – engsci
· “Portrait Of the Densest Boy on Earth” – samson
· “Sally’s Gaydar Works Again!” – Sara Irene
· “Save It for the Next Election, Hillary” – NR
· “What Does a Girl Have to Do to Become a Fag Hag Around Here?” – rudy valahan
Flamboyant NYU guy: Oh my gosh! I haven’t seen you in so long!
Ditzy NYU girl: I know, right? Oh my god!
Flamboyant NYU guy: This is, like, so weird! I was just thinking about you!
Ditzy NYU girl: Aw, cute! When?
Flamboyant NYU guy: I was all alone at home on Friday night and feeling really depressed and then I realized you probably didn’t have any plans either! That made me feel better!
Ditzy NYU girl: Hah… Wait, what?
–W. 4th & Greene St
Overheard by: jon
Polite Japanese tourist: Excuse me, please. Can you give direction to Empire State Building?
Angry old man: Hell, no. It’s not like you people needed goddam directions to get to Pearl Harbor.
–Broadway
Overheard by: He’s sorta right
Woman: I don’t think you’re supposed to eat things that are inflamed.
Man (with wide-eyed horror): It was… inflamed?
–Starbucks, Times Square
Girl #1: So did Michelle* go out with Tom* yet?
Girl #2: She’s not Asian.
–Times Square
Male cashier: “WI”? Which state is “WI”?
Female cashier: West Indies?
Male cashier: Okay. That makes sense.
Female cashier: No, wait, is it Wisconsin? Ha, it’s totally Wisconsin.
Male cashier: Who cares, they’re both really far away. Isn’t Wisconsin on, like, the other side of the world?
Female cashier: No, dummy, Wisconsin is in this country.
Male cashier: Oh. I was never good at geography.
–Met Foods, Prospect Heights
Art student to friend: Did you know that our shit would be white if we didn’t have bile to mix with it?
Black security guard, raising fist: Black power!
–School of Visual Arts
Overheard by: dobby
Girl on cell: Just stay out of the sun and keep your clam shut. Okay, bye.
Friend: Did you just tell her to keep her clam shut?
–Manhattan College
Overheard by: Greg
Girl #1: So, you didn’t go to the show?
Girl #2: Hell no.
Girl #1: My boyfriend tried to make me go.
Girl #2: Why would I want to go? I’ve slept with like, everyone there. Like I need to see a close up of all of the STDs I’ve narrowly avoided?
–Double Down, Houston & A
