Girl #1: So did Michelle* go out with Tom* yet?
Girl #2: She’s not Asian.
–Times Square
Girl #1: So did Michelle* go out with Tom* yet?
Girl #2: She’s not Asian.
–Times Square
Male cashier: “WI”? Which state is “WI”?
Female cashier: West Indies?
Male cashier: Okay. That makes sense.
Female cashier: No, wait, is it Wisconsin? Ha, it’s totally Wisconsin.
Male cashier: Who cares, they’re both really far away. Isn’t Wisconsin on, like, the other side of the world?
Female cashier: No, dummy, Wisconsin is in this country.
Male cashier: Oh. I was never good at geography.
–Met Foods, Prospect Heights
Art student to friend: Did you know that our shit would be white if we didn’t have bile to mix with it?
Black security guard, raising fist: Black power!
–School of Visual Arts
Overheard by: dobby
Girl on cell: Just stay out of the sun and keep your clam shut. Okay, bye.
Friend: Did you just tell her to keep her clam shut?
–Manhattan College
Overheard by: Greg
Girl #1: So, you didn’t go to the show?
Girl #2: Hell no.
Girl #1: My boyfriend tried to make me go.
Girl #2: Why would I want to go? I’ve slept with like, everyone there. Like I need to see a close up of all of the STDs I’ve narrowly avoided?
–Double Down, Houston & A
10-year-old little brother: And then there was this huge fight on an armored train.
20-something big brother: Wait, are you sure it was a train?
10-year-old little brother: Yeah, it was an armored train that had guns, and bombs, and fireworks.
20-something big brother: Are you sure it wasn’t a truck? I saw that movie and it was a truck.
10-year-old little brother: Nope, it was a train.
20-something big brother: You didn’t see the movie, did you? You just had someone tell you about it, right?
10-year-old little brother: Yeah…
–1 Train
Overheard by: EthanK
Hobo: Man, if you wanna get into heaven, you gotta talk to black people. They know where they at. Can’t get into heaven if you don’t talk to black people.
–Statue of Liberty
Bimbette on cell: So she is like pregnant? Like she is gonna have a baby? Hey, whatever happened to that black family?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Bigg Rigg
NYU grad student: Bill Clinton isn’t black to me anymore.
–NYU
Black couple to group of white people: We’re black! We’re invisible!
–W 4th St
Overheard by: mada
White grandpa to white granddaughter in playground: Black kids have so much fun!
–Union Square Park
Store clerk lady to man leaning on shelf: Sir, you cannot do that… You are gettin’ too comfortable in this store.
–Grocery Store
Sales clerk to woman with a pug wearing a sweater and booties: That is so gangsta!
–Soho
Overheard by: Lara
Apathetic server to customer: Do I look like I am happy at all?
–Starbucks, Manhattan Mall
Young female customer service rep to another: I’m not sayin’…, I’m just sayin’…, you know what I’m sayin’.
–Macy’s Customer Service
Overheard by: Richard Downey
Daffy’s employee to lady trying on shoes: Do they fit? [Before customer can respond.] I don’t even know why I’m askin’ you. You a customer. I don’t even care.
–Daffy’s, Atlantic Terminal in Brooklyn
Overheard by: Crystal Dickinson
Creepy-looking, middle aged goth guy, yelling: He dances with the denizens of the underworld! [Turns to his female companion.] What was his webpage again?
–7th b/w 1st & 2nd
Goth chick: Yea, my mom cried while my dad chased me around with sandpaper.
–Pratt Campus
Overheard by: Late-Night Passerby
Goth girl to friend: I can’t wait until you’re addicted to sex.
–Queens
Goth girl talking loudly to goth friend: It just sucks that everyone is such a toolbag. Like everyone. That guy right there. Toolbag. You. Toolbag. Everyone is just a toolbag. Like seven out of ten people are just tools.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Quippy Pasqual
Annoyed goth chick to friend: …so it looks like I’m going to be whipping some yuppies in a dungeon again.
–Bedford Ave & 3rd
Overheard by: yuppie45
Girl on cell: You ate breakfast? You animal!
–2 Train Platform, Wall Street
Overheard by: Gin in Tonic
Angry guy on cell: She’s a chef! Of course she makes bad decisions… like deciding to be a chef!
–Downtown 1 Train
Overheard by: Withnail
Buddy Holly glasses guy: Oh, I want food so much more than I want women right now.
–First Saturday, Brooklyn Museum
Suit: I’m going to order some mashed potatoes, with a side order of pussy.
–In front of Macy’s, Herald Square
Overheard by: sometimesdee
Middle-aged jewish lady to other: So she asks me if she can come over for supper and I said I don’t know how to work the stove!
–Avenue J & E 12th Street, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Robert
Surprised teen: She fondled my pancakes. She’s a pancake fondler!
–34th St
Overheard by: Chloe
