Girl: Dude, why are you holding a stick?
Guy: It's a wand. Fuck you.
–Bryant Park
Girl: Dude, why are you holding a stick?
Guy: It's a wand. Fuck you.
–Bryant Park
Hipster girl: Oh, by the way: why did your place smell like piss?
Hipster guy: Matt* got drunk and pissed everywhere last night.
Hipster girl: And when you say Matt* you mean you?
Hipster guy: Yeah, I might.
–Lorimer St
British girl: So, why are you here?
White British guy with headband, wearing an afghan: To spread joy throughout the world.
British girl: …ah.
–E 15th St
Overheard by: Someone who certainly felt joy after overhearing this
(attractive girls are sitting to the right)
Guy #1: Yo, look at 3 o'clock.
Guy #2: Nah, dude what are you taking about… It is 1:30.
Guy #1: I mean the 3 o'clock direction!
Guy #2: Oh!… Wait, the hour hand or the minute hand?
–Baruch College, 25th St
Overheard by: Richard Parker
Baseball fan #1: Oh, I'm going to get laid tonight.
Baseball fan #2: Are you going to call Alice?
Baseball fan #1: Oh no, you don't understand my life, man! I've got this girl who just sits on a milk crate and sucks my cock!
Baseball fan #2: Dude!
Baseball fan #2: Where does she do this? On a crate? What?
Baseball fan #1: You don't understand my life, man! She just does it wherever! I'm literally ready to smoke crack at any minute!
Baseball fan #2: Man, we don't want to know.
Baseball fan #1: I'm ready to smoke crack at any minute! You just can't control these things.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: simon
Lady on cell: Oh, I can’t wait to play with you!
Check-in agent: Excuse me?
–Terminal 7, JFK
Overheard by: Jonathan Katz
Professor: Has anyone seen an opera? Which was your favorite?
Student: Well, I only saw one.
Professor: Which one?
Student: Cats.
–Jay & Tillary
Angry suit: I hate Christmas music, man! You use it for three weeks, and then what do you do?
Sympathetic suit: Yeah, it's useless.
–Pizza Spot
Overheard by: Raven
Guy #1: So I basically came up with a question that doesn't have an answer. Would you do Jessica Simpson, I mean really Jessica Simpson, but the catch is she is the size of Shaquille O'Neal? Like 300 pounds and 7 feet tall but still really truly Jessica Simpson.
Guy #2: You're right, I don't have an answer.
Guy #1: Yeah, neither did Kevin when I asked him last night. What a mind blow…
–6 Train
Overheard by: Mark
