Relationships

Poserday One-Liners

Random hipster: If David Bowie had wheels, how much would you pay to ride on him?

–St. Mark's Place

Overheard by: haxromana

Scrawny hipster dude to another: All I'm saying is: I want to be in a position where I'm not liking it, and I know he's not liking it either.

–Troutman & Evergreen

Overheard by: Kristen

Hipster: I was much more desperate in Chicago.

–6 Train

Hipster kid: I'm just afraid that my sweatshirt isn't edgy enough.

–SoundFix Records, Brooklyn

Overheard by: chelce

Teenager: He's having a hard time dealing with being a hipster.

–Columbus Circle

And Every Cow Has Its Own Udders, Y’know?

Sad, sober friend: I just really miss her, I guess.
Drunk friend: There’s no color the sky can’t be at any given time. Remember that!

–E 11th & 2nd

She Has Wretched Refuse on Her Wish List

Chick: Why doesn’t anyone give monuments as gifts anymore?
Teen boy: …Ha, ha, ha!
Chick: No, you know what I mean, like the Statue of Liberty.
Teen boy: Wouldn’t it be great to blindfold someone, telling them you’ve got this great surprise for them, then take them to the Statue of Liberty, take the blindfold off and say: “It’s for you!”

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Chloe Amara

An Amuse-Bouche Douche

Drunk middle aged lady: Aww, love is great…you and your boyfriend are such a cute couple.
Chick: Oh, that guy? He's not my boyfriend. I'm just sleeping with him.
Drunk middle aged lady (laughing): Really? Good for you, he's cute. Well, maybe it'll turn into something more?
Chick: Oh, god no! He's an asshole…but he's amazing in bed and he's fun company… He's like a vibrator that makes appetizers.

–White Horse Tavern

Overheard by: the birthday girl

Who Hasn't Posed as a 'Foreign Girl' to Get Out of That Awkward Post One-Night-Stand Convo?

NYU Guy: Hey! I know you!
Foreign NYU Girl: Good! How are you?

–14th & Irving Place

Overheard by: NewYorkerNick

What’s Your P-p-point?

Woman #1: That bad, huh?
Woman #2: And he stutters. I just want to smack him over the head. Spit it out!

–Bensonhurst

And frankly, she makes a good case

20-something (to boyfriend): Janet said that no boyfriends were invited to her party. But she then made exceptions, for different reasons, for the boyfriends of every other girl who is invited to the party who has a boyfriend. Except for you. So I’m worried that she may not like you.

–F train

Time to Diss Him from the Cover of Elle

Girl #1: I just don’t get it! He said they were just friends… But they were always hanging out. Then all of a sudden he dumps me!!
Girl #2: Girl friend, you’ve been Jolie’d!

–C train

Is That a Euphemism for Hemorrhoids?

Goth Girl: …yeah, I wear his ring around my neck, and I gave him this flame pendant, cause y’know, I consider myself a fire fairy.
Pal: Oh yeah, definitely.

–NYU Cinema Class

Nice guys can relate

A hipster girl, walking down Bedford Ave in Williamsburg, talking on her cell phone:

“I didn’t realize what a good boyfriend Matt was…. yeah… he’s too nice, too together, too in touch with his emotions… his only problem is that he doesn’t smoke pot.”

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