Drunk middle aged lady: Aww, love is great…you and your boyfriend are such a cute couple.
Chick: Oh, that guy? He's not my boyfriend. I'm just sleeping with him.
Drunk middle aged lady (laughing): Really? Good for you, he's cute. Well, maybe it'll turn into something more?
Chick: Oh, god no! He's an asshole…but he's amazing in bed and he's fun company… He's like a vibrator that makes appetizers.
–White Horse Tavern
Overheard by: the birthday girl
NYU Guy: Hey! I know you!
Foreign NYU Girl: Good! How are you?
–14th & Irving Place
Overheard by: NewYorkerNick
Woman #1: That bad, huh?
Woman #2: And he stutters. I just want to smack him over the head. Spit it out!
–Bensonhurst
20-something (to boyfriend): Janet said that no boyfriends were invited to her party. But she then made exceptions, for different reasons, for the boyfriends of every other girl who is invited to the party who has a boyfriend. Except for you. So I’m worried that she may not like you.
–F train
Girl #1: I just don’t get it! He said they were just friends… But they were always hanging out. Then all of a sudden he dumps me!!
Girl #2: Girl friend, you’ve been Jolie’d!
–C train
Goth Girl: …yeah, I wear his ring around my neck, and I gave him this flame pendant, cause y’know, I consider myself a fire fairy.
Pal: Oh yeah, definitely.
–NYU Cinema Class
A hipster girl, walking down Bedford Ave in Williamsburg, talking on her cell phone:
“I didn’t realize what a good boyfriend Matt was…. yeah… he’s too nice, too together, too in touch with his emotions… his only problem is that he doesn’t smoke pot.”
Gay teen: I told her that while she’s over there she has to find me a German boyfriend.
Girl: Why?
Gay teen: So he can dress up like a Nazi and we can play concentration camp fetish games.
Girl: Oh, right.
–Odessa, Ave. A
Pretty girl: I wish my boyfriend loved me more than he loves weed.
Less pretty friend: But you only like him for his weed.
Pretty girl: Oh yeah… Still.
–Penn Station
Woman in dress, after smooching with guy: But how?
Guy: Don't worry baby, I already told about you to my wife.
Woman in dress: Aww, baby…
–31st St & Broadway
