Where Do Your Parents Think You Are?

Underage brunette: So, do you want to go somewhere else? I kind of want to stay because that guy is so hot!
Underage blonde: No, I want to stay here because my ID works here and I'm afraid to go somewhere else. Yeah, he is hot, it's weird that he's ignoring you.
Underage brunette: I know, right? I just want to go home with him tonight.
Underage blonde: Well, when we hooked up we had sex four times that night, you know?
Underage brunette: Yeah, I guess I need to get a little more drunk. Let's go.

–Bathroom, Heartland Brewery, Empire State Building

Overheard by: nycResident

Posted on August 19, 2008
Bars & Clubs, Default, Drinking & Drunk People, Empire State Building, Girls, Hook Ups, Offers and requests, Relationships, Stall Spies, Teens

Is Whether He Wants Kids Even an Issue?

Ghetto lady #1: He better be agreeing to giving me babies, cuz my eggs ain't be making no sperm.
Ghetto lady #2 (with hands on hips): Ummmm hmmmmm.

–45th & Park Ave

Overheard by: CC

Posted on August 14, 2008
Babies, Default, Friends, Gender issues, Ghetto Chicks, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Relationships, Wishes & desires

We Stay Together for the Sake of the Espresso Maker

Bank teller: Are you two married?
Asian girl and white man (angrily): Yes. Just.
Bank teller: You're so loving.
White man: Our marriage doesn't start until noon each day.
Asian girl: After two cups of coffee.

–17th St & 5th Ave

Posted on August 14, 2008
9 to 5-ers, Asians, Bank, Coffee, Compliments, Default, Girls, Marriage, Men, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Questions, Relationships, Weirdness, White People

Bitch. I'm Sneaking Extra Carbs Into Your Dinner Tonight

Gay guy #1: So, why do you think I'm your soul mate?
Gay guy #2: I never said I did.

–Gavroche, 14th St

Overheard by: Kenneth Creech

Posted on August 14, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Default, Queer guys, Questions, Relationships, Restaurants & Cafes, West Village

Everyone's Had at Least One Crazy Wednesday One-Liner

College girl to her boyfriend: Yeah, but you always make sexual advances on my roommates.

–Lincoln Center

Serious student: Yeah, well, I really don't want to talk about my roommate's penis anymore.

–LaGuardia & Washington Square South

Chick to friend: It's not about the toilet paper, his roommate only used baby wipes.

–Spring St & Mott St

Overheard by: Nick Caylor

NYU kid on cell: I'm still hoping to live in housing next year unless my roommates find out that I got arrested.

–Mercer & Waverly

Young suit into cell: You pissed on my toothbrush!? What the fuck? Fine, I'll get you a new pouffe… Fuck you! Pink or purple? Just get me a new toothbrush! You know what kind! Always, right? The blue ones or the yellow ones? Well, did you get your period or no? Okay… Okay… fine… fine… fine! Look, I'll be home around seven, okay? (yelling) I don't care who you're fucking, it's your turn to cook! Right, fine, talk later, okay? (hangs up, to very attractive female companion) She's really just my roommate…

–82nd & Lexington

Posted on August 6, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Home, Sweet Home, Insults, Menstruation, Offers and requests, On Cell, Penis, Prison, Relationships, Sexuality, Soho, Sorority Girls, Students, Suits, Upper East Side, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Washington Square Park, Wishes & desires

Except the Occasional Baby

Loud man in motorcycle jacket to table of friends: I wear a wedding band on job interviews… Makes them think that I'm committed and responsible.
Chick: That's a good idea!
Loud man: I also wear it to the club, chicks dig a guy who can commit.
Chick: That's so true! But wait… You're not married?
Loud man: Nah, I just live with my baby's mama… We sleep in the same bed but nothing ever happens.

–Tony's Pier, City Island

Overheard by: Fulana Pepa

Posted on August 3, 2008
Babies, Compare/Contrast, Default, Girls, Lies, Men, Questions, Relationships, Restaurants & Cafes, The Bronx

And Getting Better Every Minute

Girl (sobbing): I’m sorry… I know cheating is never the answer… I’ll do whatever I can to make it up to you.
(long silence)
Guy (chuckling): Sorry for laughing. I’m just thinking of what a better person than you I am.
(five minutes later)
Guy (still chuckling): You know you’re hot and guys hit on you all the time but what you forget is that I’m hot. Girls hit on me every day. But I’d never cheat because I’m a good person.

–Metro Cafe, 57th & 5th

Posted on July 20, 2008
Beauty, Compare/Contrast, Default, Girls, Guys, Infidelity, Laughter, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Relationships, Restaurants & Cafes

Just Like I Only Make Fun of Blacks For the Color of Their Skin

Salesman: Ah, so soly. Mr. Wong not in today.
Saleswomen: My boyfriend’s Asian. Don’t make fun of them.
Salesman: I’m not making fun of them. I’m making fun of the way they talk.

–Sales Department, SoHo

Posted on July 19, 2008
9 to 5-ers, Compare/Contrast, Coworkers, Default, Languages, Laughter, Offers and requests, Race, Relationships, Soho, Store

Plus, He’s Slightly More Company Than a Dildo

Guy: So she doesn’t even like him?
Girl: No.
Guy: Well then, why does she stay with him?
Girl: I asked her that too. She said “He’s got a twelve inch cock and he doesn’t hit me. I’m stayin’!”

–Rivington & Allen

Overheard by: Jonathan

Posted on July 18, 2008
Default, Girls, Guys, Lower East Side, Penis, Questions, Relationships, Violence, Weirdness

But at Least He Has an Alter Ego to Blame

Girl, about spiderman 3: It was a great movie if you wanted to see how to be the world’s worst boyfriend. All he cared about was himself. I mean, how could he have been so stupid? He…
Guy: You know, it’s not always the guy’s fault.
Girl: But it was! Were we watching the same movie?
Guy: I can’t believe we’re arguing about whose fault it was that Peter and Mary Jane broke up.
Girl: It was his fault.

–Union Square

Posted on July 17, 2008
Breaking Up, Default, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Movies, Questions, Relationships, Union Square and East Village

Relationships