Loud man in motorcycle jacket to table of friends: I wear a wedding band on job interviews… Makes them think that I'm committed and responsible.
Chick: That's a good idea!
Loud man: I also wear it to the club, chicks dig a guy who can commit.
Chick: That's so true! But wait… You're not married?
Loud man: Nah, I just live with my baby's mama… We sleep in the same bed but nothing ever happens.
–Tony's Pier, City Island
Overheard by: Fulana Pepa
Girl (sobbing): I’m sorry… I know cheating is never the answer… I’ll do whatever I can to make it up to you.
(long silence)
Guy (chuckling): Sorry for laughing. I’m just thinking of what a better person than you I am.
(five minutes later)
Guy (still chuckling): You know you’re hot and guys hit on you all the time but what you forget is that I’m hot. Girls hit on me every day. But I’d never cheat because I’m a good person.
–Metro Cafe, 57th & 5th
Salesman: Ah, so soly. Mr. Wong not in today.
Saleswomen: My boyfriend’s Asian. Don’t make fun of them.
Salesman: I’m not making fun of them. I’m making fun of the way they talk.
–Sales Department, SoHo
Guy: So she doesn’t even like him?
Girl: No.
Guy: Well then, why does she stay with him?
Girl: I asked her that too. She said “He’s got a twelve inch cock and he doesn’t hit me. I’m stayin’!”
–Rivington & Allen
Overheard by: Jonathan
Girl, about spiderman 3: It was a great movie if you wanted to see how to be the world’s worst boyfriend. All he cared about was himself. I mean, how could he have been so stupid? He…
Guy: You know, it’s not always the guy’s fault.
Girl: But it was! Were we watching the same movie?
Guy: I can’t believe we’re arguing about whose fault it was that Peter and Mary Jane broke up.
Girl: It was his fault.
–Union Square
Hipster girl to boyfriend: And she was like this huge ass chick with this little tiny dude! And I was just like: “Yeah! Size like… doesn’t fuckin’ matter!”
Hipster boyfriend: I totally know!
–F Train
Overheard by: mark alan
Ex-girlfriend about ex-boyfriend: I mean, he’s not exactly the kind of person to say: "I hear there’s a really great documentary about genocide playing at the film forum."
–Café near NYU
Overheard by: robin
Chick with Super-8 to random stranger: Excuse me, would you mind being the pickpocket in our silent film?
–The Montauk Club
Overheard by: torchwood lesbian
Man on phone: I wanna watch it in June so I can watch it stoned… Watching Harold and Kumar not stoned is like eating bread without butter!
–Train to Grand Central
Girl: Indiana Jones is what type of movie? Is it a life movie?
–43rd Street and 8th Ave
Overheard by: Ferris
Girl to friend: Did you get it? There were like a lot of metaphors in that movie, like label versus no label.
–Chelsea Clearview Cinema, after Midnight Showing of the Sex & The City Movie
Girl to boyfriend: If I don’t like movies about belts, am I going to like this movie?
–Smith & Wyckoff, Brooklyn
Girl #1: You know who is really cute? That kid… I don’t know his name…
Girl #2: Which one?
Girl #1: Oh, you know, the one with the hat…
Girl #2: Oh, Max!
Girl #1: Yeah, him. I really want a boyfriend. He’s really cute.
Girl #2: Yeah, he is, too bad I already have one.
–F Train
Overheard by: That kid, you know, the one with the hat
NYU girl to friend: I mean, I hate him and it’s making my hair fall out but I think our relationship really works.
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Man to friend: She wanted to go to dinner on some kind of date shit. I wanna bring her to a bar and fuck her in the bathroom.
–G Train
Overheard by: Sarah
Fat chick to friends: I don’t know. He moved. We weren’t serious, you know? I mean how can you be serious with a man who wanted to move to an Indian reservation? (friends nod in approval) I mean why would you want to move to an Indian reservation anyway? It’s like the projects… but in camp.
–Casa Mono
Overheard by: foodie
Girl on cell: Oh, so you really like this one. (pause) That’s cool, where did he take you? (pause) Wow, he must be balling! That place is mad expensive, yo. (pause) What did you say his name was again? (pause, then hysterical laughing) Girl, I can’t take anyone named Skip-to-my-Lou seriously!
–32nd St & 5th Ave
Boyfriend to girlfriend: Well, if I get sick of you I’ll just find someone else!
–Movie Theater, 32nd & 8th
Overheard by: Happy I’m not his girlfriend.
Guy on train: Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention? Sorry for bothering you, but I’ve been single for a year, and that shit’s not popping… So, any donations of phone numbers, e-mail addresses, or MySpace pages would be greatly appreciated. Thank you and may god bless.
–C Train
Overheard by: gretchen
Very drunk, seemingly homeless man with cane (to entire car): Merry Christmas, happy Hannukah, everyone!
(everyone in car stares)
Drunk man: I’m not homeless, I’m just very drunk. I got a woman at home who ain’t got no job and I keep telling her, bitch, get outta my house and get a job!
–6 Train
Overheard by: Melissa Sills
