I Went to NYC and All I Got Was This Rash

Drunk tourist flirt: It was verrry nice meeting you all, and I hope to see you all again real soon! [Shakes hands with local teens, then leaves.]Local teen, to friends: Yo, she wanna fuck e’rybody!

–4 train

Overheard by: Not Me

Headline by: VeggieGirl

Runners-Up:
· “As If We Need to Import That or Something” – gib
· “I Went to NY and All I Got Was Bukkake” – Ken H.
· “Reader Survey: Britney, Paris, or Lindsey? Vote Now!” – Fleetline
· “She Ran Out Of Folks to Fuck Back in Iowa.” – Redneck Jedi
· “Southern Hospitality Is the Shizzle” – The Heiress

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on August 5, 2023
Bimbettes, Comebacks, Compliments, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Headline Contest Winners, On the Subway, Sex, Tourists

Nor Should You Have Confirmed It For Us Publicly

Chick #1: So was he cute?
Chick #2: He was cute enough.
Chick #1: What does that mean?
Chick #2: I mean, like, I wouldn’t lick his butt or anything.
Chick #1: Ew!
Chick #2: Oh, like you never licked a guy’s butt!
Chick #1: I should never have told you that.

–3rd Avenue & 11th Street

Overheard by: Manhattman

Posted on July 12, 2023
Hook Ups, Manhattan, People, Sex, Sex & Relationships

Just Putting It Out There

Girl #1 to #2: You don’t fuck bitches!
Girl #3, skipping out in front of gaggle: I do!
Girl #1 to #2: You don’t fuck bitches!
Girl #3: I do! I’ll put on a strap-on for you!

–25th & 8th

Posted on June 24, 2023
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Girls, Sex

Why Go to the Concert?

LI girl #1: God, I am so horny!
LI girl #2: When we get to the concert, we’ll find some guys to fuck.

–2 train

Overheard by: Triborough

Posted on June 22, 2023
Girls, On the Subway, Sex

Among Frat Boys, That's the Real C-Word

Girl: It's weird: I'm a cross between a radical feminist and a frat boy.
Boy: It's because you love drinking and fucking.
Girl: And critical theory!

–Rudy's, 44th & 9th

Overheard by: holden caufield

Posted on June 9, 2023
Bars & Clubs, Boys, Compare/Contrast, Drinking & Drunk People, Gender issues, Girls, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Sex, Weirdness

Another Round of Wednesday One-Liners

Woman: She brought a bottle of vodka on the plane with her. She was doing shots the whole flight.

–Central Park

Overheard by: sarah

Conductor: The next stop is Cherry Hill, but for the men singing, it was alcohol.

–NJ Transit

Overheard by: Date Rape

Smooth operator: Don’t worry, I thought you were pretty before I got drunk.

–Subway

Party girl: Yeah, so I did like 10 shots and woke up the next day wearing only one shoe and a sombrero.

–51st St & Broadway

Hobo: Ladies and gentlemen, I have spent all my money on alcohol and marijuana and drugs… But now, I have learned my lesson. I want to spend all your money on alcohol and marijuana and drugs… and viagra…

–Union Square, uptown 6 train

Guy: Dude, I can’t get that drunk. I am trying to fuck that girl tonight.

–Outside Columbia dorm

Bimbette: Oh my god, it was a terrorist act! I’m going to the wine bar.

–68th St & York

Posted on June 8, 2023
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Beauty, Bimbettes, Central Park, College, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Conductors, Drinking & Drunk People, Drugs, Ew, Jersey, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hobos, Homeless, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On the Subway, Pick-up Lines, Places, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Terrorism, Topics, Upper East Side, Venues, Weed, Women, Yeaaahhh College!

Wednesday One-Liners Ride a Vespa

Hipster on cell: I’m not even buying anything. I’m just here to be seen.

–Trader Joe’s

Hipster boy: I loves me some master race!

–Lobby, the Met

Overheard by: Shayna

Tipsy hipster girl: Wine is so, like, the blood of the gods!

–W 4th & Christopher St

Hipster guy: I think the most truly good person who’s ever been on this earth was Gandhi. Or maybe Martin Luther King, Junior… But he was black.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Ghandi was Indian..

Drunk chick: What kind of hipsters are you that you won’t fuck a girl just because she wants to wear a Sailor Moon costume?

–St. Mark’s Pl

Posted on April 22, 2023
All Wednesday One-Liners, Arts & Letters, Clothing, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Girls, Grocery Stores, Guys, Hipsters, History & Geography, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, More museums, Museums, On Cell, People, Places, Politics, Race, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Shopping, The Met, The Village, Times Square, Topics, Union Square and East Village, Venues

Wednesday One-liners Are All About Location

Mom: Don’t think of it as losing a friend…but as gaining a holiday destination.

–A train

Overheard by: Clacky

Posted on March 14, 2023
College, Columbia (& Barnard), History & Geography, Manhattan, One-liners, Parents, Sex, The Village, Union Square and East Village

The Beds Were Covered with Sheet

Woman: This reminds me of the time my son caught us having sex in his bed.
Man: Which one?
Woman: The second time for my older son.
Man: Yeah…That was the filthiest sex ever.

–LIRR train

Overheard by: Sue Ludmilla

Posted on March 7, 2023
Kink, On the Subway, Parents, Sex, Sex & Relationships

Stay on Topic for God’s Sake!

Jock #1: Don’t you dare tell me that Santa Claus doesn’t exist. I’ll kick your ass.
Jock #2: Shut up, you know he doesn’t exist.
Jock #1: Then who the hell puts the presents under the tree?!
Jock #2: Your mom does!
Jock #3: I’d totally do your mom. No lie.
Jock #2: Me, too.
Jock #1: Santa exists, dammit!

–Midtown Direct train

Overheard by: Believes

Posted on March 6, 2023
Friends, Holidays, Idiots, Sex, Stupidity, Trains Not Subway

Sex