Woman: My dad controls all the money in the house, to the point where if my mom wants to go shopping she has to talk to him. She’d said, ‘You really need to go to the grocery. Your daughter only had a protein shake to eat today.’ He said, ‘Well, she needs to lose weight anyway.’ It’s crazy. That’s the kind of shit we had to deal with growing up.
–29th & Park
Girl: I would totally eat the shit out of a cupcake!
–St. Mark's Place
Mom to little boy crying after dropping popsicle: I'm not buying you another one!
–Central Park
Overheard by: Katherine
Thin blonde girl: I love food. I wish I could make love to this cookie…
–NYU
Very hot girl in expensive outfit to guy walking away: Oh, so looking at candy and toys is more important than my need to go to the bathroom?
–82nd & Central Park West
Midwestern tourist woman walking into trashy store: I hope this isn't a porn shop!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Jingles
30-something woman on cell: I'm not bringing the baby to the porn convention!
–Hilton Theater
Man on phone: Did you say "corn" or "porn"?
–Onion News Network
Overheard by: Kaze
Man to wife: Don't worry, I don't need to upgrade. That's what porn is for!
–40th & Broadway
Overheard by: mel
Man: Do you have bathing suits?
Salesgirl: No… But we have swimming trunks.
Man, sarcastically: Why not? I'll try those.
–6th & 23rd
Kindly stranger: Where do you want to go?
Lost couple: The Jersey Gardens outlet mall.
Kindly stranger: Do you want to take the bus?
–Port Authority Bus Terminal
Overheard by: Tim
Woman to friend, in crowded line: I feel like I'm in a department store. I'm riddled with anxiety.
Friend: If you don't get good customer service, you walk the fuck outta there! I am anal about customer service in the gym.
(they reach the cashier)
Friend to cashier: Hey, lady, you actually know how to do your job. They should make you manager, so at least someone around here does what they're supposed to.
–Wholefoods, Chelsea
Overheard by: Katherine
30-something woman with shopping bags: I've decided the theme for my new apartment is “ah!” you know?
Legging-wearing friend: Yeah! How are you going to decorate?
30-something woman with shopping bags: I'm thinking very minimalist, you know, very simple. I'm getting two flat-screen TVs.
–Union Station
Overheard by: Aidan
Guy: Do you have any Irish Spring soap?
Cashier: No, I don't know what that is.
Guy: Irish Spring soap! To wash your balls with! Don't you wash your balls?
–Grocery, Flatbush Ave
Overheard by: Diana
Boy in car: Where are we going?
Mom: Shopping.
Boy, pointing at the first store he sees on the street: Let's go to Dress Barn!
Mom: No!
–Rego Park
Overheard by: Jasper
Upper East Side crone: I just came back from Sudan, and there was nothing to buy there!
–Gift Shop, American Folk Art Museum
Hick obese wife to hick obese husband: Sometimes I like Wal-Mart better, sometimes I like K-Mart better. It depends on the day.
–6 Train
Overheard by: Emily Faxon
Tourist lady on cell: No, I was in the store the entire time! I got 8 pashminas!
–Canal St
Overheard by: Canadian Girl
Cheerful 10-year-old with cornrows to 30-something woman: This is a world famous store! So don't be surprised if you're still here at one o'clock!
–Macy's, 7th Ave
Asian girl, pointing to D'Agostino: Oh, that's D'Agostino. It's like a Japanese grocery store or something.
–10th St & University
Upper East Side mom: I shop at Target because I like to support out local businesses whenever I can.
–62nd & 3rd
