Girl: …so you injured your knee running cross-country?
Guy: Yeah, right before the season starts, too…
Girl: So how long did it take you to run across the country?
–F train
Girl: …so you injured your knee running cross-country?
Guy: Yeah, right before the season starts, too…
Girl: So how long did it take you to run across the country?
–F train
Guy #1: Oh man, Alexa is so hot. Sucks that she has a boyfriend.
Guy #2: Dude, how many times do I have to tell you? Just because there is a goalie doesn’t mean you can’t score.
–42nd & 8th
HS Boy #1: Today’s Wednesday. Why are you leaving early?
HS Boy #2: We have playoffs.
HS Boy #1: Playoffs are Thursday.
HS Boy #2: No, they changed them to Wednesday.
HS Boy #1: Oh. Have fun losing.
HS Boy #2: Yeah, it sucks.
–4 train
Overheard by: Kaitlen
Statler: My kid just told me he’s making the ultimate sacrifice.
Waldorf: Really?
Statler: He told me that it’d be okay for the Red Sox to beat the Yankees, as long as George Bush loses the election.
Waldorf: My god.
–14th Street YMCA
Old Coot: When you take over someone’s empire, you get more of them coming in. I turned on the ball game, and the stadium was all Spanish! This guy came to talk to me from the Daily News, and it turned out to be El Diario!
–Carmine St.
Douche tourist #1: Yeah, so, I've been hanging out in Bed-Stuy a lot. You know, where Biggie Smalls grew up? It's the real hood. I'm having so much fun. You can get, like, Chinese food, and the guy's just like “okay, man, okay” if you don't have a gun.
Douche tourist #2: Yeah. It makes you think, how we live in, like, this little bubble.
Douche tourist #1: Totally. But I used to have a fake ID for teenage rebellion. But Minneapolis is such a 21-and-over town. They took the ID away from me. (sighs) That was such a great ID.
Douche tourist #2: Do you know Sam? She plays hockey.
Douche tourist #1: Real hockey, or…
Douche tourist #2: No, girl hockey.
Douche tourist #1: You mean field hockey. I love field hockey. I'm serious, I want to play field hockey so bad. I think it's reverse sexism that they don't let guys play.
Douche tourist #2: Well, guys can play. You'd just have to play against each other, not the girls.
Douche tourist #1: Why?
Douche tourist #2: Well, guys are stronger than girls.
Douche tourist #1: But what if we wore the same skirts? Than we'd be too embarrassed to play good.
–Coffee Shop, 8th St
Guy in courtyard, doing pelvic thrusts: Up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and…
–NYU Dorm
Girl to friends: Yeah, after he stopped doing yoga it all went downhill…
–East Village
Guy on cell, screaming: I'm a machine! I'm unstoppable! Who goes out till four in the morning and then destroys a triathlon the next day? I'm a machine!
–91st St & York Ave
50-something yoga instructor: Bring attention to your reproductive organs, squeeze them as hard as you can, and release. Let them go, let them hang loose.
–Yoga Studio
Overheard by: Puff
Conductor: I was watching the winter Olympics speed skating and I got to thinking about the summer Olympics. A New Yorker should win the 100 meter dash. All they have to do is put an open train door at the end of the track and start the race with "boop boop." You know that New Yorker is going to win the gold. Ya'll have a good day now.
–A Train
Overheard by: Commuter #1,792,824
Mother: I want you to always be safe whenever you're in the woods, a lake, or the mountains.
Boy: But I'm always in control!
Mother: No one's always in control.
Boy: What about Michael Phelps?
Mother: No. The only one always in control is…?
Boy, bored: God.
–The Strand
Overheard by: amused family member
Teenage girl #1: That's Babe Ruth? That don't look like Babe Ruth!
Teenage girl #2: I thought Babe Ruth was black…
–Madame Tussauds Wax Museum
Woman #1: I'm, like, really starting to get concerned about this oil spill thing because of the effect on like the environment.
Woman#2: Why? Do you dive?
–Women's Bathroom, Churrascaria Tribeca
Overheard by: Valerie
