Receptionist lady: Don’t you be sayin’ my whole name; I’m on America’s Most Wanted!
–NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital, West 168th Street
Overheard by: supermerm
Receptionist lady: Don’t you be sayin’ my whole name; I’m on America’s Most Wanted!
–NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital, West 168th Street
Overheard by: supermerm
Girl on cell: …And I was like, “Good thing you think I’m pregnant.”
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Halcyon Murphy
Guy: That the fucking bitch that called the cops on me! That fucking bitch called the cops! You! White trash! White trash! White trash!
Chick: I always knew you were a bigot.
–St. George, SI
Girl #1: Oh my god, I totally shoudn’t be out tonight. I totally look like I just had an abortion.
Girl #2: You look fine and you had an abortion like a month ago.
–Martini Red, Staten Island
Teen girl: …You know they didn’t have guns back then…But if they did, Jesus would have shot them niggas.
–Williamsburg
Announcement: Please do not disturb the canine dogs.
–Staten Island Ferry Terminal, Staten Island
Teen guido boy #1: I was going down on her and her pussy tasted like peach Snapple.
Teen guido boy #2: The iced tea, right?
–Colonnade Diner, Staten Island
Checkout lady: School supplies? You gotta buy this in September, not December!
Chick: I know, but my little cousins want school supplies for Christmas, they wanna play teacher. I’m just following orders.
Checkout lady: Christmas?
Chick: Yeah, Christmas, it’s a gift.
Checkout lady: What about Hanukkah?
Chick: What about it?
Checkout lady: You ever heard of it?
Chick: Yeah, but these are a Christmas gift.
Checkout lady: You Jewish? Which half?
Chick: Only the good half.
Checkout lady: You a teacher?
Chick: No, a librarian.
Checkout lady: You look too young to have finished college. How old are you? Twenty?
Chick: No, I finished college.
Checkout lady: You eighteen?
Chick: No, I’m twenty-three.
Checkout lady: Oh. You gotta get married, then.
–K-Mart, Staten Island
Overheard by: Becka Dash
A mom points to the window of a sex shop, at a jacked mannequin wearing a mask and feather boa. She says: Hey honey, maybe that’s what you could be for Halloween.
Little boy: No, Mommy. I want to be a fireman.
–Christopher Street
Overheard by: Jon
Girl: Are those tighty whities?
Guy: Yeah, it’s laundry day.
Girl: Then why drop your drawers in a bar?
–Danny Boys, Staten Island
Overheard by: bawookie
