White guy #1 as stray dog passes by: Oh, that dog looks vicious… And hungry.
White guy #2: Well, I hope it does not like white meat — only dark meat.
White guy #1: Yeah.
–Staten Island
Overheard by: Dark Meat
White guy #1 as stray dog passes by: Oh, that dog looks vicious… And hungry.
White guy #2: Well, I hope it does not like white meat — only dark meat.
White guy #1: Yeah.
–Staten Island
Overheard by: Dark Meat
Girl on cell: I’m looking at your Myspace right now. Change your song. You don’t know my brother. You shouldn’t have his song on here if you don’t know him. He wrote it, he sings it, it’s his song. No, I don’t care. Take it off. You don’t even know him. Well, you better. Like, today. I’ll see you on Saturday.
–Great Kills Library, Staten Island
Overheard by: Tracy
Father: What is your favorite color?
Son, sitting in cart: Um…Pink!
Father: No! It’s black or maybe blue.
–Paint aisle, Home Depot, Staten Island
Father, to son washing hands after peeing: Come on, son. Don’t waste water.
–Universal Artists Theater, Staten Island
Overheard by: David
Tourist: I want to go home. New York is so unchristian. Look at this, they even have a place called “Satan Island”!
New Yorker: Oh yeah, we New Yorkers are the worst. We even sold our souls to the devil so we could all read.
–6 train
Fireman, telling a story about a female fire fighter: She’s one tough woman.
Retired cop: All firemen are tough women.
–Bar, Staten Island
Headline by: Max North
Runners-Up:
· “And Don’t Even Get me Started on Lifeguards…Bunch of Pussies.” – Lindsey
· “Does This Hose Make my Ass Look Big?” – Bones
· “Don’t Get Him Started on Meter Maids…” – colin
· “Firefighters Are From Venus, Cops Are From Jersey” – Hunter North
· “It Makes For an Interesting Calendar” – travis
· “That’s How the Poles Stay so Smooth” – Syd O’Banion
· “They All Refused Anesthesia During the Sex Change Operation” – Johnny D
· “Which Does Much to Explain the Low Salaries” – Jenina
· “You Should See His Burnt Doll Collection” – Matthew
· “You’ll Never Be the Man Your Mother Was.” – Paul
Mother, to little boy: No, you cannot smell my armpit!
–Keyspan Park, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Jesse
Doctor on cell: Look, having knees doesn’t make you special.
–Oustide New York Presbyterian Hospital
Ghetto chick: When she’s asleep, I’m gonna squat on her brain.
–16th between 7th & 8th
Overheard by: alyssa
Father of little girl who has just hit her head: Did your brain fall out?
–Chili’s, Staten Island
Overheard by: Ada and Andi
Chick: His teeth are really straight. But that’s because he was home-schooled.
–Baskin Robbins, 23rd & 8th
Guy: Every time a girl sees my teeth, she’s like, “Naaah.” I’m gonna get this whole shit redone, where they take them all out and replace the whole thing. It costs like $20,000…Only thing is you have to go two months without any teeth.
–29th St & 33rd Ave, Astoria
Middle-aged man, to college girl in skirt: Excuse me, miss, you have very nice legs. Have you ever thought about doing voice-overs?
–31st & 6th
Overheard by: plo
Teenage boy: Who wants to play guess which body part am I fidgeting?
–North Gannon & Bradley, Staten Island
Overheard by: Shamrocknroll
Incoming chirp: Where you at?
Guido #1: I fuckin’ hate this shit, man! In the morning 8 am, while I’m takin’ a shit, all fuckin’ day! “Where you at?” Just leave me the fuck alone!
Guido #2: Hahaha…Why don’t you just turn it off?
Guido #1: Nah, then I wouldn’t get chirped.
–College of Staten Island
Girl on cell: … a roma tomato, lime… I mean lemon, either one… omigosh, this is the wrong number! [hangs up]
–Staten Island Ferry
Bag lady: Hey, you guys, can you help me out? I’m really hungry!…You need a dye job, you know! Your roots are showing.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Drew
