Tourist girl: Oh, crap, is that Rosie O’Donnell over there?! [Whips out phone camera.]Tourist guy: Well, it’s either her, or a 300-pound biker with a bad haircut.
–34th & Broadway
Tourist girl: Oh, crap, is that Rosie O’Donnell over there?! [Whips out phone camera.]Tourist guy: Well, it’s either her, or a 300-pound biker with a bad haircut.
–34th & Broadway
Kid #1: You’re mad short, haha.
Kid #2: Shut up! I know I’m short! I haven’t grown at all! The only thing that grew was my dick!
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: A.K.
Headline by: KMW
Runners-Up:
· “And Somewhere in America, Mary Kay Letourneau’s Ears Prick Up” – Sara
· “Everyone in Dwarf Porn Goes through This Moment” – M
· “I’m a Little Teapot, 2.0” – Duncan Pflaster
· “Whatchu Talkin’ About, Willis?” – Molly
Elderly shopkeeper in the pouring rain: Hey! Hey, amigo! When you go home, don’t take shower. You save money on bills.
–Morgan & Flushing, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Erin Partridge
Chick: Um, Mo, I never thought I’d ask you this, but… does this shirt make me look like a lesbian?
Lesbian, laughing: Oh my God, no! Just make sure nobody thinks we’re together…
–192nd St & Broadway
Overheard by: Curly girl
Junkie lady to junkie guy: Get your hands out of your pockets! No pocket pool!
–22nd & Park Ave South
Overheard by: Damian
Teen girl #1: I really want some sa’mores. We should totally make sa’mores.
Teen girl #2: Sa’mores? It’s ‘s’mores,’ not ‘sa’mores’! Sa’mores! Sa’mores… Yeah… Sa’moron!
–81st & 3rd
Overheard by: i love smores
Guy hearing fireworks go off: Wow! Listen to the fireworks! Or maybe it’s the Soviet Union bombing Manhattan!
Girl, obviously unimpressed: Yeah, they totally need to make a comeback.
–3rd & 5th
Hot blonde: Do they kick in kick boxing?
–Upper West Side
Overheard by: haha
Tourist pointing to a church: Is that the Chrysler Building?
–E 10th & Broadway
Little boy, when train jerks to a stop: Did we just hit a deer?
–Manhattan-bound N train
Overheard by: paratactical
Teen tourist: Look, I know you guys have, like, musical theatres on Broadway and stuff, but do you guys have movie theaters?
–Canal & Broadway
Tourist pointing at S train car: This is the bus that will take us to Times Square, right?
–Platform for shuttle from Grand Central to Times Square
Overheard by: the answer is yes, but you’re not right
Young girl on phone: Hells yeah, I walked out of that class! I don’t even get why we still learn about immigration. I mean, who the fuck takes boats here anymore?
–23rd & Lex
Hot lesbo to another: You already have two girlfriends — you don’t need another boyfriend!
–92nd & 2nd
Hipster guy: Well, it’s not like I’m into men, but there aren’t really any girls around right now… It’s convenient! At least I’m getting laid!
–In front of Metropolitan Bar, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Rowan
Mini thug with girlfriend. You know, baby, I just get homo sometimes.
–115th & Lenox
Wannabe lesbo: … And I was like, ‘What, just ’cause I like to sleep with men, that makes you more gay than me?!’ And she was like, ‘Uh, yeah.’
–Bedford Ave & Lincoln Pl, Brooklyn
Overheard by: equally gay
Fag hag to queer friend: She is so ruining my heterosexual life!
–42nd & 7th
Overheard by: j
Hipster dude to pals: I gotta go! I just found out this guy is bi!
–Parsons the New School for Design
Chick to another: She was a little bit bisexual in Hong Kong. But, then, who wasn’t?
–1 train
