Student: Are all furry animals primates?
Anthropology teacher: Is your dog a primate?
Student: No.
Anthropology teacher: Is a rat a primate?
Student: No.
Anthropology teacher: Is the stuff that gets stuck in your drain a primate?
–Brooklyn Tech
Overheard by: Julie
Professor guy: I’m sure all of you have seen a photo of Babe Ruth and would be able to recognize him. his autograph is worth almost as much as Abraham Lincoln’s is.
Swedish girl #1: I don’t know what a Babe Ruth is?
Swedish girl #2: Oh, he’s a famous baby.
–New School University, 13th & 5th
Arrogant freshman: Well, I find the whole drafting process a little counter-redundant.
Writing professor: No, it’s productive.
Arrogant freshman: I tend to disagree. I think it’s counter-redundant.
Writing professor: No, the word! The phrase is ‘counter-productive.’ [Mumbles] Fucking smartass.
–NYU
Tutor: So did you understand the story you read for homework?
Girl student: The first time I read it, I didn't understand it. But the second time, I was mad fucking high, and I got it.
–Oriental Boulevard, Brooklyn
College boy: I used to work with those people who dress up as cartoon characters.
College girl: Ohhhh! You mean furries?
–Pratt Institute
Schoolgirl #1: The sun rises in the west and sets in the east, right?
Schoolgirl #2: No, no, no! It rises in the east! Girl, you need to learn your temperatures!
–N train
High school girl #1: So what made you think that you were PG?
High school girl #2: Why do you think a woman would think she was pregnant?
High school girl #1: I don’t know, you had sex?
High school girl #2: Well, I missed my period. I am sure I was pregnant. Isn’t that how it works?
–3 train
Overheard by: mickthequick
Friend’s mom: So, Michelle said you just graduated. What is your degree in, Jessica?
Recent grad: I did! My major was Psychology, but I have a minor in Sex. Well, they call it ‘Sexual Studies.’
Friend’s mom: That’s great. Do you plan on teaching with it or…?
Recent grad: I could teach sex-ed, but I want to do something hands-on.
–Starbucks, Union Square
Overheard by: Melissa H.
Chick on cell: Why did you tell dad about that?…Well, he was going to find out sooner or later when he saw me on the website.
–Union Square
Female midget: Yeah, they’re installing the internet in my new apartment and apparently they need a computer.
–Elevator, ABC building, 66th St
Overheard by: Mojosaves
World traveler: Really, you can get anything on the streets of Bangkok. Thai prostitutes, smoothies, passport pictures…It’s like Craigslist.
–20th & 8th
Overheard by: laughing out loud
Catholic school girl on cell: Danny, it’s me. I have some bad news. We’re on a break. Call me back when you get this message….[Hangs up and redials] Maria! What am I going to do about my MySpace?!
–4th Ave
Overheard by: Joe
Blonde on cell: Seriously, I love you, but…Seriously…Seriously, you’re an asshole. You’re a dick! Why didn’t you just tell me the fucking truth!…Well, I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry I posted those pictures on MySpace, but…Well, be a fucking man about it and tell me the fucking truth then!…Seriously, I love you.
–23rd & 8th
Overheard by: wild dog boy
Loud guy on cell: So how do I get this done? Do I go on the internet or something?… I want to be able to print my own bounty hunter license immediately.
–11th & 6th
Suit: When I was working for my old company, all we would do is download porn.
–Grand & Varick
