Idiot #1: … And that’s why they call him Ted Kaczynski, because he bit her on the ass.
Idiot #2: Really?
Idiot #1: Yeah, they got the dental records and everything. He totally bit her on the ass, and there were bite marks. That’s why they call him Ted Kaczynski.
–61st & 10th
Girl #1: Wait, how old was he?
Girl #2: He’s 26.
Girl #1: Oh, I thought he was in his 20s.
Girl #2: Uh, yeah, he’s 26.
Girl #1: Oh…
–29th & 3rd
Overheard by: Zohra Chagany
Man handing out his CD: Scuze me, you like authentic Latino music? (woman flinches)
I ain't gonna bite you. Neither is the CD. Unless you're bitten with the sweet beat of salsa.
–2 Train
Older guy to younger date: So last night, right, I was a little drunker than I wanted to be and I was listening to those Beethoven and Mozart symphonies to, you know, really try to hear the difference between them…
–Uptown A Train
Woman walking out of a Chekhov play: Ugh! That was like taking a Tchaikovsky and playing it as if it were a Beeeeeethoven.
–Theatre District
Overheard by: Greer Feick
Happy older musician: I'm playing at the memorial concert for Ricky B*. Johnny T* was going to do it, but he died. I'm the go-to replacement when someone scheduled to play at a tribute concert dies.
–19th & 7th
Overheard by: tycho anomaly
Man on cell: Did you get the tickets? (pause) Eighty dollars to see a green bitch sing!?
–Chineese Restaurant, Columbus Ave
Fratboy #1: Let’s go to Karma; I heard it’s awesome.
Fratboy #2: Yeah, Karma is so much better than Sutra.
–1st Avenue between 3rd & 4th
Woman #1: These moving sidewalks are for the birds!
Woman #2: What?
Woman #1: The moving sidewalks are for the birds!
Woman #2: What birds?
–Court Plaza station
Overheard by: Cheryl
Black guy #1: You know that statue, right? You know, the British… The British gaved the Statue of Liberty to New York. The British gaved the statue to America. To commemorate the Civil War. But they don’t tell you that. They don’t talk about that.
Black guy #2: Yep.
Black guy #1: And you know it was black, when the statue got here. It was black. And it had chains ’round it.
Black guy #2: Yep.
–F train, York St
Guy #1: Which one did you make out with?
Guy #2: I dunno, I can’t tell the difference. Whichever one is Jessica.
–Pearl’s, Amsterdam Avenue
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Girl: We used to go out–he was wonderful–so interesting, caring, funny, and great lover. But I dumped him because he was gay.
Guy: Are you sure?
Girl: …Well, maybe he wasn’t a gay after all…Yes, he definitely wasn’t.
–14th & 6th
Overheard by: goga
Hippie chick: High School Musical is totally promoting communism.
Loud Latina: Oh my god! We see the deepness in everything!
–Hayden Residence Hall, NYU
Overheard by: Cooper C
Guy: Can I get a vodka on the rocks?
Bartender: Would you like ice in that?
–The Russian Vodka Room, Times Square
