Chick: I don’t know — all the worry about oil prices and gas… [Dude throws sideways glance.] What does oil have to do with gas, anyway? You don’t put a can of oil in your gas tank.
Dude: You know what? You’re a dumbass.
–W 52nd St
Overheard by: Eric Shellhamer
Woman, to young daughter: See? That's a banana, this is the “peel.” P-e-a-l.
Man across the aisle: It's spelled p-e-a-l only when it's for a bell.
Woman, indignantly: Bells don't have peels!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: P. Marino
Girls looking at pictures: He was mad fat, but he was a good ass baby.
–Uptown A Train
Guy walking through sea of sun bathers: There aren't even that many fat people here… That's good.
–Sheep Meadow, Central Park
Guy on cell: You're not skinny fat, no.
–East Village
Guy on cell phone: You mean you're not going to fatso's wedding!
–N Train
Overheard by: wasn't even invited
Female suit: Why the hell does Weight Watchers have so many big fat people working in their offices, anyway? That's so not inspiring!
–40th & Madison Ave
Guy on phone: You mean the really nice one? She got big? What do you mean by big? (pause) Oh. Well, she has an exceptionally beautiful face, man. Do the right thing.
–9th & 15th
Overheard by: Courtney
Three guys are standing outside of a restaurant talking about hiding drugs.
Guy: Yo, I just tie it up with string and put it next to my nutsack.
–Spring & W. Broadway
Overheard by: teca
Cop: I won’t issue you a summons if you can answer this question correctly… What’s closer to New York, Italy or the moon? I’ll give you a hint. You can see the moon.
Perp: Ummm… the moon!
–Brownsville, Brooklyn
Overheard by: po-pos do give 2nd chances
Little old lady: But I am sure I came in on this floor. Don't you know the customer is always right?
Sales associate: This is the 3rd floor. Unless you scaled the side of the building, I'm right on this one.
–Macy's, Herald Square
Overheard by: stewed tomato
Thuggish black guy #1: That was mad niggerish.
Preppy black guy: Yeah, it was so fiscally irresponsible.
Thuggish black guy #2: Yeah, so niggerish.
–114th & Broadway
Overheard by: puzzled
Guy #1: You know, you never would have even heard of Halloween if I hadn’t told you about it.
Guy #2: Whatever.
–9th Ave & 15th St
Overheard by: Don Willmott
Woman #1: Guess who I sat next to at dinner last night?
Woman #2: I have no clue. Jimmy Fallon?
Woman #1: No. Denzel Washington!
Woman #2: Omigod!
Woman #1: I know, I love him!
Woman #2: I loved him as God in Bruce Almighty. That was him, wasn’t it?
Woman #1: No, that was Morgan Freeman, you dumb fuck.
–45th Street 7th & 8th
Girl # 1, looking at a picture: omg, I’m so fat
Girl #2: No.. you are just ano now.
Girl #3: It’s ani, not ano.
Girl #1: No, it’s def ano.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Neither Ani nor Ano
