Physician #1: Hey, if you want, there’s gonna be a meeting on the night of the 16th.
Physician #2: I can’t. I’ll be in the Holy Land that week.
Physician #1: You’re gonna be in the Bronx?
–North Shore Hospital
Overheard by: Nik G
Physician #1: Hey, if you want, there’s gonna be a meeting on the night of the 16th.
Physician #2: I can’t. I’ll be in the Holy Land that week.
Physician #1: You’re gonna be in the Bronx?
–North Shore Hospital
Overheard by: Nik G
Dude #1: So, the other night I killed a mouse by rolling over on it in my sleep.
Dude #2: How did you know you killed it? Did you feel it or just wake up and find it there?
Dude #1: Yeah, when I woke up in the morning I looked over and was like, ‘Oh, a mouse,’ and then I took a picture.
–Ciao for Now, 12th St & Ave A
Overheard by: Coffee drinker who just lost her appetite
Girl on cell: Yeah, so after I get the surgery, I’m not going to be able to drink or eat for, like, three months.
Friend, on speakerphone: Oh, man, that’s rough. Is there, like, a special diet you go on for that?
Girl on cell: I don’t know — I should look online. I’m sure plenty of people have done it before.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Katrina
Man: Bert was a lot quieter than Ernie.
Woman: This train is a lot quieter than Ernie.
Man: Nine-eleven was a lot quieter than Ernie.
–1 train
Overheard by: DL
Mother: The other day I walked past a bunch of Hispanic teenagers. They smelled really good.
Teen boy: It’s Axe.
Mother: What?
Teen boy: Axe.
Mother: Wait, what?
Teen boy: Axe!
Mother: Ass? That’s not nice to say about Hispanic people.
–SoHo
Overheard by: Kevo C.
Blonde model: I can’t believe she wants President Bush at her wedding!
Brunette model: I know. What if he says “nuc-u-lar” or something!?
Blonde model: Why would he say “nuc-u-lar” at a wedding?
Brunette model: Helloooo? Because he’s the President!
Blonde model: True…
–67th & Madison
Drunk girl: Ummm, we were out and your penis was a topic of conversation.
Sober friend: Oh, yeah?
Drunk girl: Yeah, we think it’s big.
Sober friend: Well, it has some good references. I’ll have him send you a resumé.
–St. Mark’s & 2nd
Overheard by: Morgan SO fetch
Hobo: I have not eaten anything in three days and it’s freezing out. Could you find it in your heart to help me out?
Chick: I won’t give you money, but I will go into that deli and buy you dinner.
Hobo: Thank you so much. But I’m Jewish and if you don’t mind, I would really like a kosher sandwich from Mendy’s.
Chick: Oh, forget it — here’s five bucks!
–34th & Park
Blonde chick: I don’t understand. It’s stupid. You mutiply it by 4.
Brunette chick: No, there are 52 weeks in a year.
Blonde chick: No, you multiply the months by 4. 12 times 4, and you get 48.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Bystander
Chick: Can I make a request?
DJ guy: Sure, if I got it….
Chick: Can you play some black music?
DJ guy: By “black music” you mean music performed by black people?
Chick: Yeah!
DJ guy: Do you mean Chuck Berry black music or, like, DMX black music?
–Motor City Bar, Ludlow Street
Overheard by: DR
