These Wednesday One-Liners Got Sole!

Woman: Nothing says "ferry terminal" like fish with moustaches.

–Battery Maritime Building

Overheard by: Jon A.

Guy in quiet, crowded elevator: Do you know if jellyfish reproduce sexually?

–Google's NYC Office, 15th St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Derek

Teen girl to friend: But your shrimp ate a fish alive? Is that what happened? I don't believe you. Shrimp can't eat fish. It's like part of a food chain or something.

–Metro North Railroad

Overheard by: Jessica S.

Excited tourist girl among crowd of Chinese people: I can smell the fish!

–Grand Street Subway Station

Overheard by: Angelina

30-something female customer to H&M employee: Do I smell like I just ate fish?

–H&M

Overheard by: julia

Really drunk girl in front of gallery: I would fuck him for lobster!

–26st St & 10th Ave, Chelsea

Overheard by: Charlotte

Posted on April 14, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Chinese, Clerks, Customers, Drunks, Elevators, Food, Friends, Girls, Grand Central, Guys, Office, One-liners, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Sex, Store, Street, Teens, The Village, Tourists, Train Station, Trains Not Subway, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women, Words

Go-Go Gadget Vodka Penis!

Group of underage drunk girls: Yaaaayyyy!!! Woohoo! We loooovveee St. Patty's Day! Yeeeeaaaahhhh!
Guy: Yay! Drunk whores!

–52nd & 5th

Overheard by: plasticastle

Posted on April 9, 2010
Celebrations/Parties, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Girls, Guys, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Teens

I Only Wait on Lines This Long for Cupcakes

Drunk guy on St. Patrick's Day to group of students by McDonald's: You guys want a fucking cheeseburger that fucking bad, huh?
Young teenager, sarcastically: Actually, I'm a vegetarian.
Drunk guy: Then what the fuck is this for?
Young teenager: Tofu and salad.
Drunk guy: Fuck this!

–Times Square

Posted on April 6, 2010
Drunks, Insults, Junk Food & Fast Food, Restaurants & Cafes, Students, Teens, Times Square, Vegetarian & Vegan

…With No Cup Holders

Flamboyant teenage boy: Did you see Keisha roll up to school today with that raggedy-ass stroller showing off her baby?
Teenage girl: Yeah, who she think she is? Them other girls had them babies in some decent rides.
Teenage boy: You never see the baby daddies rolling in, showing off their babies.
Teenage girl: Hahaha… Yeah, but next year, when I bring my baby, I ain't gonna have no ghetto stroller.

–D Train

Posted on April 6, 2010
Babies, Gossip, On the Subway, Parents, Teens

I Hear He Does Quartets All the Time

14-year-old boy #1: You ever play any Chopin?
14-year-old boy #2: Yeah, I played one of his last year.
14-year-old boy #1: Can you play Fantasie-Impromptu? That one's mad hard.
14-year-old boy #2: No, I did an Etude. That's where you play scales and shit.
14-year-old boy #1: I read that he, like, bridged the gap between the classical and romantic eras.
14-year-old boy #2: No way, dude. You ever hear his Nocturnes? That shit is mad romantic. You're thinking of Beethoven.
14-year-old boy #1: Oh, right. Beethoven. He was a pimp.

–2 Train

Overheard by: Blerg

Posted on April 6, 2010
Arts & Letters, Education, History & Geography, On the Subway, Teens, Weirdness

Four Of Those Times Were Totally Other People's Faults

Punk teenager to girlfriend, watching ambulance pass: See, those people are good, they save lives.
Punk girlfriend: Yeah, yours. How many times now?
Punk boyfriend, offended: That's not funny.

–McKibbon Sreet, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Rachel

Posted on April 4, 2010
Brooklyn, Comebacks, Couples, Jobs & Careers, Medicine, Punks, Teens

You'll Have Something to Put on the “Missing” Posters

7-year-old little sister: Why do you like taking all those pictures of yourself?
14-year-old big sister: It's called “MySpace”, duh!

–7 Train

Overheard by: Annifer

Posted on April 3, 2010
Kids, Myspace, On the Subway, Pictures, Questions, Sisters, Teens

Who Says Girls Are Bad at Meth?

Teenage girl #1, taking drag off cigarette: So yeah–she has totally been taking that medicine, you know? The one that makes you stay awake. What's it called?
Teenage girl #2, taking cig from friend and inhaling : Ummm… Crystal meth ?

–42nd St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: Nikki

Posted on April 2, 2010
Hard Drugs, Medicine, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Names, Teens

Red Lobster Is Fancier

Teenage black girl to white guy and black girlfriend: Take her to Red Lobster! Red Lobster is the best. It's like an expensive date restaurant.
50-something black guy, interrupting: Red Lobster? Are you fucking serious? Red Lobster is fast food!
Teenage girl, after rethinking: Well… There's a Denny's in Brooklyn.

–LIRR

Posted on March 25, 2010
Advice, Black People, Couples, Dating, Girls, Guys, Junk Food & Fast Food, Teens, Trains Not Subway, White People

Tonight's Movie: Lean Girls

Teenage girl #1: Who is Jacqueline?
Teenage girl #2: She's my fat friend.
Teenage girl #1: I had one of those. Got rid of her like two months ago. I got sick of the whole “I'm hungry, let's go eat” thing.
Teenage girl #2: Yeah, I'm thinking of getting rid of her too. I mean, she was cool for a while, but…
Teenage girl #1, interrupting: No! Fat has never been cool!

–6 Train

Overheard by: Have 2 of those

Posted on March 19, 2010
Assholes, Diet/Weight, Food, Friendship, On the Subway, Physical appearance, Teens

Teens