Clerk: What’s that symbol on your shirt?
Chick: It says ‘Nepal.’
Clerk: What’s Nepal?
Chick: It’s where the Dalai Lama lives.
Clerk: What’s the Dalai Lama? Is that an animal?
Chick: Yeah, it’s like a Yeti.
Clerk: Oh.
–Pelham Pkwy
Overheard by: raginggoatboy
Three-year-old boy: You are cranky.
Mother calmly pushing cart: Do you even know what that means?
Three-year-old boy: No. You are cranky.
–Target, Bronx
Black belt girl: My father is a doctor.
Green belt boy: Wow! My dad is an ex-doctor!
Black belt girl: Ex?
Green belt boy: Yeah, he used to practice medicine. Now he just practices substance abuse.
–Martial arts school, Bronx
Overheard by: Oh, I practice that, too
Blonde: Do you ever pray?
Brunette: Oh, I pray a lot in the shower. It’s kind of weird because then I feel like God is watching me shower, but then I remember that he’s obviously seen all that before.
–Webster’s Café, Bronx
Man: Well, at least if you get deported you’d get to go somewhere exotic. If I get deported I go back to the Bronx…
–Barnard College
Conductor, as rap music blares through speakers: Yo, this is a shout-out to all my niggas keepin’ it real on the 1 train. Takin’ the 1 to the Bronx at four a.m. — that’s gangsta, son!
–Bronx -bound 1 train
Female employee: I’m so annoyed… so annoyed. This morning there was a dead body near the Bronx train station. It made me late for work. The train was sooo crowded. I hate that! I hate when we are all packed in the train like sardines!
–Fox News Channel newsroom
Chick: He’s either retarded… or from the Bronx.
–Hell’s Kitchen
Overheard by: mokee
Russian guy, about the cold: Ah, such beautiful weather, I love it!
Daughter: Mmm-hmmm, whatever.
Russian guy: If I was a negro, I wouldn’t like this weather, either.
–Orloff Ave, Bronx
Teacher: Why shouldn’t they ban the N-word in New York City?
Black kid: Because it’s my favorite word!
–Wings Academy, Bronx
Mom to five-year-old son eating sandwich at a wake: Put that sandwich down! Your grandfather is dead and you’re eating a sandwich!
Boy: [Spits out food and drops sandwich to floor] Is he alive now?
–Bronx
Overheard by: Culturally Confuzzled Human
Mom: So, is Alex Rodriguez black or Hispanic?
Boy: He’s married.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Bobby
Teacher: What country do we live in?
Very enthusiastic little boy: The United States of New York!
Teacher, a few minutes later: Can someone name a state outside of New York?
Very enthusiastic little boy: Brooklyn!
–First grade classroom, the Bronx
