The Village

Latina: People are always saying I look Asian. Do you see it?
Asian guy: Well, you know, Mexicans look a lot like Asians.
White girl: Yeah, they have those same narrow eyes.
Asian guy: And they’re short.

–Amy’s Bread, Bleecker Street

Overheard by: Rich Mintz

Queer: Hey! Nice tits!
Morbidly obese fag hag: Hey, thanks!

–Metropolitan & Humboldt

Overheard by: dani d

Man: You got the prettiest laugh I’ve ever heard!
Pretty girl: Aw…
Man: If you pee on me, I’ll let you laugh a lot more!
Pretty girl: Oh. I was going to say that was the sweetest catcall I’ve ever heard, but then…

–Mulberry & Spring

Overheard by: has that ever worked for you?

Drunk chick #1: Look, I have, like, fucking trackmarks. It’s like a hole!
Drunk chick #2: Oh my God! It looks like a teddy bear!

–W. 4th between 6th & 7th

Overheard by: Kaitlen

Black dude, yelling: I suck dick! I suck dick! I suck dick!
Brassy white chick walking past: Whatta you want, a medal? I suck dick too.

–Christopher & Bleecker

Girl #1: Oh my god, I need something cold and sweet in my mouth, like, now! Like, a frozen sugared penis!
Girl #2: Oooh! With Splenda on it?!
Girl #1: Oh, no! I so do not eat that. Splenda is tested on animals!

–MacDougal St

Overheard by: SarahC

Smiley man: How you feelin'? How you feelin'?
Little girl: Who's that?
Mom: That was just a nice man sitting on the sidewalk saying hello.
Little girl: Really?
Mom: Yeah, he was talking to you.

–14th St & University Place

Overheard by: Alexandra

Why Beauty Bar Exists.

Nail salon employee #1, walking up to closed nail salon: What? No one opened this morning?
Nail salon employee #2, standing outside nail salon: No. No one here.
Nail salon employee #1, disappointed: They're such alcoholics.

–Bleecker St

Overheard by: dev

Chick to guys loudly singing ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’ : That song can’t turn you gay!

–Village Halloween Parade

Overheard by: That eavesdropper over there

Chick in stall: Would you ever eat cereal out of my mouth?
Friend in next stall: Well, if I had that background music… Yeah, sure.

–Bathroom, Joe’s Pub