Suit to suit friend: That's so nice of her, to pick you up at one in the morning. You just asked her to come get you?
Suit friend: Yeah, I called her and I was like “hey, babe can you come get me? I got out of work late. Just wake the baby and bring him in the car.” Twenty minutes later she was there. With divorce papers she had been working on.
Suit: Well, at least she picked you up, bro.
Suit friend: Very true.
–12th & 5th
Overheard by: Sarah
Girl #1: And it's been a few years now, and I've been with a man.
Girl #2: I knew that would happen.
–84th St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Nick
Girl #1: I like can’t even wait for going out tomorrow night, it will be so fun!
Girl #2: I know, but like, we are always the ones who plan our nights out.
Girl #1: Yeah, I know! But we are like so good at it, we should be PR girls! Or party planners!
Girl #2: Yeah! We could do child party planning, and like, we could take them to the zoo!
Girl #1: Oh my god, yeah! But we would have to bring alcohol for us.
Girl #2: Well, what would the kids do then?
Girl #1: I dunno, they could like go off and do their own thing while we drink, right?
Girl #2: Totally.
–The Bronx Zoo
Overheard by: kevin
Professor: When would be a good day for our review session?
Student: How about Friday?
Professor: Nope, sorry. Friday I'm gonna get my drink on!
Student: Can we have it in the bar?
–NYU
Rich Girl: Wow Mallory, you have such a busy week coming up. It’s a good thing you don’t have a job.
Mallory: Yeah.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Danger
Very loud woman: You ain’t gonna believe the shit that bitch said to me.
Friend: Who? Your friend?
Very loud woman: Yeah, that bitch, my friend. She ain’t my friend.
Friend: What she say?
Very loud woman: She say, ‘Oh, girl, I ain’t seen you in a long time — like weeks! You look so swollen! Why you so swollen?’ I was like, ‘Bitch, I ain’t swollen, I’m fat. Why you dissin’ me?’
–Starbucks, St. Mark’s
Chick on cell: I hope you fucking die! Die! … Well, not like now… but someday… like, when you’re eighty.. Okay, eighty-four.
–NYU
Overheard by: Kelly
Student: … And I was all, ‘Dude, don’t touch my side of the cadaver!’
–Albert Einstein College of Medicine
Overheard by: BuddyblueJD
15-year-old: Look! They’re dying because they suck!
—The Bucket List showing, AMC Empire 25
20-ish chick: After I died, I hardly did anything.
–45th & 3rd
Overheard by: mkr
Blonde to gal pals, on Heath Ledger: It just made me realize how real death is when even a celebrity can die!
–25th & 1st
20-something-girl to brother: I'm always tellin' you, it won't time-travel if you hit 88 mph! Slow down when you're driving!
Brother: Screw that! 1.21 gigawatts, Marty, let's go back to the future!
–11 St & 1st Ave
Young physicist: So, dude, are you gonna be around in a few months?
Old physicist: I sure hope so.
–Museum of Natural History
Mother: I swear, the next time you're late coming to see me… I mean, I'll give you five minutes and then I'm gone.
Daughter: I couldn't help it. They were doing room inspections and I had to stick around.
Mother: Room inspections?
Daughter: Yeah, they come around and check your rooms, make sure there's like no lights or no alcohol.
Mother: What about the alcohol I gave you?
Daughter: They don't open drawers.
–Pizza Place near Columbia University
