Wednesday One-Liners Stimulate the Economy

Tourist, loudly and proudly: They have this store at the mall!

–Louis Vuitton, 5th Ave

College girl: The second floor was pointless. It was, like, just furniture.

–Ikea, Brooklyn

Woman on cell: I'm not in a store! I know what a store looks like!

–Tompkins Square Park

Perturbed NYU chick, about New Orleans: Hopefully I will survive there for two years. They don't have H&M! Or Bloomingdale's or Anthropologie. They don't have Loehmann's…

–NYU Office

Overheard by: Melanie

Middle-aged guy passing clothing store with shirtless male models at front doors: Hollister? What is it, a ladies club inside?

–NoHo

Overheard by: Arielle

Posted on October 28, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Brooklyn, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Fashion, Men, NYU, On Cell, One-liners, Questions, Shopping, Sorority Girls, Store, Students, Stupidity, The Village, Time, Tourism, Tourists, Travel, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

So, Like Canada and the U.S.?

Tourist: So what the difference between hummus and falafel?
Guy at counter: Well… one is hummus, and the other is falafel.

–Mamoun's Falafel, MacDougal St

Overheard by: Tacologic

Posted on October 25, 2009
Clerks, Compare/Contrast, Ethnic Food, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Stupidity, The Village, Tourism, Tourists

The Bible Explicitly Forbids Hot Puppet Sex

Large, jolly lady usher #1, as disturbed-looking Midwestern tourist-family walks by: I always cringe when people bring their children. There should be signs telling them it's inappropriate.
Large, jolly lady usher #2: Remember the woman who kept telling us she was going to pray for us? Girl, that made my day!

–45th St

Overheard by: Ladle

Posted on October 17, 2009
Coworkers, Family Ties, Fat People, Gripes, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Parents, Religion, Should've Used a Condom, Tourism

We're Not Even Tourists

Girl #1: That's a tourist bus!
Girl #2: Yeah, well… we're tourists!
Girl #1, after long sigh: We're from Long Island!

–E 14 St & 1st Ave

Overheard by: holly

Posted on October 15, 2009
Girls, Public Transportation, Stupidity, Tourism, Union Square and East Village

…In Omaha.

Hobo to tourist lady: Can you spare a dollar? Some change?
Tourist lady: Sorry, not today.
Hobo, mumbling as he walks away: Okay, see ya tomorrow.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Rebecca

Posted on October 12, 2009
Hobos, Homeless, Money & Class, Panhandling, Times Square, Tourism, Tourists

Fine by Us.

Tourist woman #1: These people are all moving so fast…
Tourist woman #2: That's because they're in a rush. Don't ask them for directions.

–49th & 7th

Overheard by: Jon A.

Posted on October 8, 2009
Compare/Contrast, Directions, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Only in New York, Tourism, Tourists

Or a Morgue?

Tourist, pointing across the street: Why is it called The Container Store?
Local: Because they have a lot of containers.
Tourist: Like a Tupperware party?

–6th Ave & 18th St

Overheard by: janine

Posted on October 4, 2009
Celebrations/Parties, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Names, Questions, Strangers, Stupidity, Tourism, Tourists

What About a Light High Five?

Creepy 20-something: Hey, ma, come here a sec.
Teenage girl tourist: Uh… what?
Creepy 20-something: Please. Please… just hold me. Just hold me for a second.
Teenage girl tourist: Oh. No. I'm just gonna… no.

–Canal Street

Posted on October 4, 2009
Creepsters, Hugs, Offers and requests, Teens, Tourism, Tourists, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Weirdness

Kinda Cool How Those Italians Are Carrying It, Though.

British female tourist: That's the Statue of liberty?
British male tourist: I don't get it.
British female tourist: It's just a bloody fucking statue!

–Battery Park

Overheard by: Stephanie

Posted on October 3, 2009
Battery Park, Brits, Foreigners, Insults, Questions, Statue of Liberty, Tourism

I Know You Guys Can't Help Yourselves

Hobo: Where you guys from?
Tourists: Australia.
Hobo: Oh, far, far, far. Tip for you: break the law on weekends. If you break the law on weekdays, it's easier to get caught. But break it on weekends, you can get away with it.
Tourists: Oh… awesome. Thanks.

–C Train

Overheard by: freckles

Posted on September 29, 2009
Advice, Compare/Contrast, Crime and Punishment, Hobos, On the Subway, Tourism, Tourists, Weirdness

Tourism

Kinda Cool How Those Italians Are Carrying It, Though.