Out-of-towner #1: It's Sunday.
Out-of-towner #2: Yes, it's Sunday.
Out-of-towner #1: No. It's Sunday… and everything is open. It's crowded! There's friggin' life.
Out-of-towner #2: That's because it's not Pittsburgh.
–34th St & Madison Ave
Out-of-towner #1: It's Sunday.
Out-of-towner #2: Yes, it's Sunday.
Out-of-towner #1: No. It's Sunday… and everything is open. It's crowded! There's friggin' life.
Out-of-towner #2: That's because it's not Pittsburgh.
–34th St & Madison Ave
New Yorker: Oh, and there's the naked cowboy. He's everywhere. He's famous.
Tourist mom: Why?
–Times Square
Tourist to MTA employee: Do you have a map of, like the touristy places?
MTA employee: Yes.
Tourist: That will show us like, the Eiffel Tower and stuff?
MTA employee: The Eiffel Tower is in France.
–57th Street Subway Station
Overheard by: Elise
Tourist #1: This must be it, it says “Greyhound” right there!
Tourist #2: It looks under construction. Is it safe to go in?
Tourist #1: I don't know… I'm afraid.
–42nd & 8th
Overheard by: unfortunately thats just how it looks
Tourist counting her group, which is clogging sidewalk: Carla? Has anyone seen Carla? Okay, Marie? Marie?
Passerby, interrupting: First, let me thank you for visiting our city. We appreciate it. Second, get out of the fucking way.
–Broadway & Canal
Obvious tourist #1: I love it when you step out of the train station, and it's like… Bam! City!
Obvious tourist #2: Yeah. City life.
–Amtrak Train
Overheard by: broken headphones
Headline by: limescentedguy
Runners-Up:
· “I Hear Prison’s the Same Way” – time served
· “Or It’s Like … Bam! Gunshot!” – emeril
· “That’s Not the City, That’s Chuck Norris” – Matt M.
· “Then BAM! You’ve Been Mugged.” – Fresca P.
· “Tourist, The Other White Meat” – Stick’em Up
· “Two Weeks Later They Finally Found Their Way Out Of Penn Station” – BabakganoosH
(horsey tourist girl walks right into tiny fashionista in giant Chanel sunglasses)
Horsey tourist girl, screaming: Was that really necessary?
Tiny fashionista, confused: You're the one who ran into me.
Horsey tourist girl, still screaming: There are 50,000 people in this city. Learn how to walk.
Tiny fashionista, calmly: Eight million, actually.
(horsey tourist girl stomps off)
Tiny fashionista, yelling after her: Your shoes are ugly!
–50th St & 5th Ave
(man standing on bus gets a little too close to the man sitting in front of him)
Sitting man: Wrong person, right day. Son, do not put your genitals in my face!
–M101 Bus
(skateboarder tries to do a trick on the curb and flies face-first onto pavement)
Skateboarding friend, checking on him: Dude! His face looks like a clitoris!
–Union Square
Overheard by: I Looked Away
Crazy man to another: What the fuck's the matter with your face, man? You look like a fuckin' Rottweiler! Shit!
–Q Train
Creepy doorman to male tourist: If you wake up in the morning with a bush in front of your face, don't ask any questions.
–30 Rock
Overheard by: MusicMagGirl
Tourist #1, looking at subway exits: North side or south side?
Tourist #2: What's the difference?
Tourist #1: Well north is north…and south is south.
(both look from one exit to the next and look at each other)
Passing New Yorker: Are you going uptown or downtown?
Tourist #1, thinking: Hmmmm….west.
New yorker: West of 8th…but uptown or downtown? West side of what street?
Tourist #1: Hmm… West side of…23rd Street?
New Yorker, walking away: You don't know what the hell you're doing.
–23rd St
Boss: Wait, can I ask a city girl question? Do butterflies come from caterpillars??
–Office, 8th Ave
Overheard by: kpan
Tall blond tourist looking at Egyptian artifacts: So, are these, like, all real artifacts, or like, what? Know what I mean?
–The Metropolitan Museum
Girl to station agent: Can I go the other direction from here?
–W 103rd St
Overheard by: Emily B.
Blonde bimbo: Skydiving…is that the one done on water?
–Jerome Avenue Line
Woman, looking around crowded waiting area: I wonder how many people here are waiting for a train?
–Waiting Area, Penn Station
Overheard by: Not from New Jersey
Woman in elevator, after bumping into Al Roker: Wasn't that Tom Brokaw?
–Fisk Building
