Wednesday One-Liners Call It an “Eating Plan”

Squeaky blonde: When I feel like that after drinking too much I just totally stick my finger down my throat. I don't wake up with a hangover, and it saves calories too!

–Blarney Rock Pub

Overheard by: Ant928

Dumpy middle aged lady: I haven't lost any weight, but I'm still alive. So… I'm pretty proud of myself.

–Union Square

Girl: You should have to pay by the calorie. That'd make people less fat.

–Chipotle, Broadway

Overheard by: Confabulation Nation

Five-year-old boy to mom: Hey, mom, this energy drink has 10 calories less then the Monster drink!

–7-Eleven

Overheard by: CatVonD

NYU student: You know when you're on a diet, and you wash your face with apricot cleanser? It smells so good that you just want to, like, eat it!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: melbert

Posted on October 4, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Body Parts, Cleanliness, Compare/Contrast, Diet/Weight, Drinking & Drunk People, Drinks, Food, Girls, Grocery Stores, Health and Hygiene, Kids, Moms, Money & Class, One-liners, Parks, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Sensory Experiences, Students, Union Square and East Village, Vomit, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Raise Your Hand If You'd Love to See the Video

Conductor, after fat girl vomits and dances on it: Attention passengers, if you are going to vomit on this train, go to the bathroom. If you can not make it to the bathroom, vomit on yourself. Do not dance in your own vomit, and do not vomit on my train. Thank you.

–Babylon Line, Penn Station

Overheard by: Feta Cheese

Posted on September 30, 2014
Conductors, Dancing, Offers and requests, Public Transportation, Train Station, Vomit

Can We See Ratatouille Again, Daddy?

Little girl: I am looking for the rat that we saw eating throw-up. It was… soooo…
Dad: Soooo awesome… I remember!

–Rector & Trinity

Posted on September 15, 2014
Animals & Nature, Dads, Food, Kids, Parents, Vomit, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Weirdness

Just When You Were Starting to Miss Your 20's…

Girl #1: I love cheese steaks.
Girl #2: Me too, they are my favorite drunk food.
Girl #1: They are so bad for you.
Girl #2: It doesn't matter, I'll just throw it up anyways.
(both start laughing)

–PATH

Posted on September 3, 2014
Compare/Contrast, Drinking & Drunk People, Food, Girls, Laughter, Trains Not Subway, Vomit, Weirdness

“Whoop, there it goes. Goddamn broccoli!”

A woman is throwing up on the street. Another woman comes to her aid.

Florence Nightingale: Are you OK?
Pukerella: No, that’s OK. I just got somethin’ stuck in my throat.

–Teachers College, Morningside Heights

Overheard by: Derek Bacharach

Posted on July 14, 2014
Brooklyn, College, Nice People, Vomit

Wednesday Coughs Up Some One-Liners

Kid on cell: So I rubbed it really hard and really fast… and I made her throw up.

–Marble Hill High School

Drinker to friend, while playing flip cup: I will throw up in your pussy wagon.

–Whiskey Tavern, Chinatown

Woman: I'm really glad it wasn't the Prozac making her throw up… just her other meds.

–33rd St & Park Ave

Girl: My uterus is vomiting!

–Bard High School, Queens

Overheard by: Sunny

Posted on December 1, 2010
Chinatown, Drunks, Girls, Kids, Masturbation, Medicine, Queens, Vagina, Vomit, Women

Wednesday One-Liners, in Brief.

Man eating ice cream while trying to walk: Beanobeanobeanobeanobeanobeanobeanobeano.

–49th St and 7th Ave Station

Man dressed in green unitard, running in circles: Augghhhhhhhhhh!!! Aughhhhhhhhhh!! Aughhhhhhh!!!!

–Union Square

Moviegoer, after preview for The Blind Side: Blerrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (vomiting noises, then audience erupts in laughter)

–Regal Battery Park Stadium Movie Theater

Teenage boy, taking gum out of his pocket and looking at it: Scrotum! (puts gum back in pocket and walks away)

–95th St & Madison

Overheard by: Confused

Posted on November 3, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Crazies, Food, Laughter, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Movie Theaters, One-liners, Teens, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Vomit, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

From Too Many Games Of Swallow the Leader

Skinny hipster gay boy #1: If I get too drunk I just stick my finger down my throat and force myself to vomit.
Skinny hipster gay boy #2: Yeah, I would do that… But at this point I have absolutely no gag reflex anymore.

–Chelsea

Overheard by: Justin

Posted on October 22, 2010
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Drinking & Drunk People, Health and Hygiene, Hipsters, Queer guys, Skinny People, Vomit

Wednesdays Just One-Linered in Their Mouths a Little

Three-year-old boy to mother: Mommy, there is a baby in your stomach that is making you throw up.

–G Train

Guy with hand over friend's mouth, encouraging him not to throw up: No! No! No!

–Q Train

Guy, pleading with girl: Don't go home. (pukes on self) Why do you have to go home?

–32nd St & Madison Ave

Man standing next to woman throwing up: Beans and rice… No, corn.

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: Julian

Posted on May 5, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Food, Friends, Girls, Guys, Home, Sweet Home, Kids, Men, Moms, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Questions, Strangers, Vomit, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

The Kind Only Disney's Kingdom Can Provide

Hungover girl #1: I remember you saying you were going to vomit.
Hungover girl #2: Yeah, I said “I'm gonna vomit.” and you said “me too. I just made out with Tony.” And I said “no, I'm actually going to vomit.”
Hungover guy: And then we threw up at the same time. It was like magic.

–Wagner College

Overheard by: Have a good night?

Posted on April 10, 2010
College, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Magic, Vomit

Vomit