Man #1: My dog puked twice last night.
Man #2: Just twice?
–Houston & Hudson
Overheard by: Frank M
Man #1: My dog puked twice last night.
Man #2: Just twice?
–Houston & Hudson
Overheard by: Frank M
Pregnant woman to 3-year-old son: Do you remember what happened last time you licked the subway? That’s right. You threw up.
–4 train
Overheard by: Leora
Parent: My son is only two years old, sittin’ at the bar, talkin’ ’bout “old school.” How you gon’ talk ’bout “old school” when you two years old? I think my brother taught him that.
–Merrill Lynch lobby, Broadway & Park Row
Mom to 4-year-old: Stop crying and take a moment and think about how you feel.
–Broadway & 104th
Dude: Do you mean the guy you threw up on?
Chick: Yeah, but not the frat boy, the other one.
–Silver building, NYU
Subway musician to drunk guy puking: Hey! Come on, asshole, take a cab, this is my place of work!
Drunk guy: You know what, why don't you pay for my cab to Queens and get a real job while you're at it?
–7 Train
College girl, sniffing jacket sleeve: This smells bad.
College boy: Is it vomit?
College girl: No, because I didn't wear it last night.
–Greenwich & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Carla
Hipster guy: I'm really glad your vagina decided to stop throwing up!
Girl: I know! I saved $600 on abortion fees!
–AMC Theatre, 42nd St
Woman, looking at two obese ladies flirting with a construction worker: This scene makes me want to puke.
Man with her: (laughs)
Woman: But all I've got in my stomach is cum.
–Gramercy Park
Overheard by: Me Too?
Tourist mom to kid: There's some weird smells around here…
Suit: Nah, that's New York you're smelling. Dog piss, hobos piss, hobos barf… Ah, the glory of the Great White Way.
–Times Square
Overheard by: i love new york.
College miniskirt #1: Wow, I feel so nauseous.
College miniskirt #2: It must be all the Adderall we took.
College miniskirt #1: You're right, I'll probably just throw it up when we get to the bar.
–110th St & Amsterdam Ave
Overheard by: Nikki
Drunk college girl: I don’t mean to have sex with ugly guys but more often than not…
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Lo
Thuggish dude on cell: … You want to look in the mirror and be like ewww, while everyone else looks at you and is like, ooh, you know what I’m saying? When I wake up in the morning and I look in the mirror I think to myself shit, I am one ugly motherfucker, how the hell do I get so many bitches?
–7 Train
Overheard by: Andrea
Dumpy man waiting on line: I didn’t know court was a beauty contest for ugly women.
–Downtown NYC Courthouse
Man fighting with random woman on train: You’re as ugly as the tip of my dick!
–4 Train
Overheard by: Marlon B
Teenage girl to group of friends: Oh! Did I tell you *Jessica had her baby? Yeah, that shit ain’t ugly.
–Cobble Hill
Loud girl: Omigod I’m soooo pissed! Like, she’s so ugly. Much uglier than me. And you know on Halloween, if I hadn’t been bleeding from my vagina and puking in a bowl he would have hooked up with me instead.
–Fordham University
Overheard by: I was puking in a bowl when I heard this too
