Her: I don’t care how hungry I am, I’m not gonna eat a plate of somethin’ that looks like throw up!
Him: Well I’m gonna go inside and eat my throw up and you can wait out here or whatever, I don’t care.
–1st Ave. between 6th & 7th St.
Overheard by: K. Thor Jensen
Drunk guy: Did I puke on you?
Drunk girl (holding half-full pitcher and cup): You might have puked on me, but I peed and spilled beer on myself to rinse it off.
–N Train
Overheard by: Abbey C
Drunk Long Island girl #1: I am so wasted and I haven’t even thrown up yet!
Drunk Long Island girl #2: It’s like, we’re drunk and we’re from Long Island. We should be all… proper and shit.
–29th & 7th
Overheard by: 100% not drunk
Guy: I guess I’d rather be bulimic than anorexic.
Girl: Oh, why?
Guy: Well, I guess it’s the more satisfying eating disorder, cause you can taste yourself getting skinnier every time you vomit!
–40th & Park
Overheard by: Mal
Chick on cell, not visibly pregnant: I'm having a c-section and a cigarette.
–Simply Natural, 43rd & 10th
Overheard by: Pleased
Recurrent drunkard to bar: I'm not a smoker! I'm a libertarian, for fuck's sake!
–Peter McMannus Pub
LIRR conductor: There will be no pugilism on this train. Additionally, tonight marks the first night of Kwanzaa, and in the spirit of Kwanzaa, I ask you to not smoke on this train. This is the final warning: if you are smoking, you will be ejected at the next convenient stop. Also, no throwing up is allowed on the train. The two places where you may throw up are in the conveniently-located bathrooms, or on yourselves. Again, merry Kwanzaa.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Jenna K
NYU girl: Do you have a cigarette to ease my cough?
–Waverly & Mercer
Chick: Mad Men is like porn for smokers.
–172nd St & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
Crackhead: Excuse me, miss, but you don’t look so good. Are you okay?
Hot, drunk chick vomiting in a trashcan: I’m supposed to be asking you that!
–66th St, Lincoln Center station
Meathead #1: I think I just threw up in my pants.
Meathead #2: Cool.
–51st & 2nd
20-something #1: I'm so glad you're here.
20-something #2: You don't even know how glad I am… I'm totally going to throw up tonight.
–Bar, 17th St & 7th Ave
Conductor: Barf between the cars, asshole!
–PATH train
Girl on phone: Well… We can cuddle, and then I’ll be like, ‘Get off!’ and then I’ll puke, okay?
–JJ’s Place, Columbia University
Overheard by: Rachel Lindsay
Girlfriend pushing drunken boyfriend through crowd, to bystander: Work with me here, baby — he’s throwing up all over you, and you’re still not moving.
–Rained-out Game Two, Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Alison Steedman & Jeff Gilbert
Woman: There’s no better time to scream your boyfriend’s name than when you’re puking all over his bed.
–Party, 16th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: McFreaky
Little girl: 50 dollars. But if you vomit, it’s free!
–76th & Central Park West
Overheard by: Rachel
Lady with accent pointing at man hunched over seat: Oh, is he throw up?
–4 train
Overheard by: fellow rider who also didn’t sit
Little boy to baby brother: Stop throwing up on me!
–3rd Ave & 16th St
Overheard by: Rachel W.
Squeaky blonde: When I feel like that after drinking too much I just totally stick my finger down my throat. I don't wake up with a hangover, and it saves calories too!
–Blarney Rock Pub
Overheard by: Ant928
Dumpy middle aged lady: I haven't lost any weight, but I'm still alive. So… I'm pretty proud of myself.
–Union Square
Girl: You should have to pay by the calorie. That'd make people less fat.
–Chipotle, Broadway
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Five-year-old boy to mom: Hey, mom, this energy drink has 10 calories less then the Monster drink!
–7-Eleven
Overheard by: CatVonD
NYU student: You know when you're on a diet, and you wash your face with apricot cleanser? It smells so good that you just want to, like, eat it!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: melbert
