Wednesday One-Liners Don’t Understand the Caucus System

Bleach-blonde: I would totally vote for McCain if Miley Cyrus were his running mate.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Democrat

Woman: Oh, I am definitely a single-issue voter. And right now, that issue is: Which one of the candidates can get me to a bathroom soonest?

–7th Avenue, Park Slope

Overheard by: Chuckell

Drunk hobo to a group of pigeons: And they’re all Democrats. Can’t trust them Democrats.

–Washington Square Park

Young African American woman speaking animatedly on cell: … Vice president? Why should I run for Vice President, I’m doing better than you, bitch! "Dream ticket!" That’s why I hate white liberals. They don’t know when they’re fucked up. Republicans don’t give a shit about you, but they know it.

–124th St, Harlem

Drunk wheelbo, shouting across the entire ferry terminal: Hillary, Hillary, she’s our man! If she can’t do it, no one can!

–Whitehall Ferry Terminal

Lady on cell: When you done turn Governor, you can’t play dat shit…

–Associated Supermarket, Myrtle Ave, Brooklyn

Overheard by: PdQ

Posted on February 4, 2018
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Brooklyn, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Compare/Contrast, Crazies, Drunks, Ferry, Girls, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hobos, Insults, Lower Manhattan, Offers and requests, On Cell, Park Slope, Parks, Politics, President, Questions, Store, Street, Threats, Washington Square Park, Wheelbos, Women

I'm Starting to Care That the Girl Has an Orgasm

Girl #1: So wait… You have trouble orgasming?
Girl #2: Yes! It's like impossible for me to come through sex alone.
Girl #1: But fingering and oral works?
Girl #2: Well, yeah.
Girl #1 to guy friend: How ya hanging in there, Matt?
Matt: I need to start hanging out with more guys.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Bruce Lee

Posted on November 14, 2017
Friends, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Hand-Jobs, Licking, Orgasm, Questions, Sex, Washington Square Park

He’s Tricky with That Reverse Psychology

Hobo: How are you doin’? Do you need some money? You need a dollar or two?
Woman: No thanks, I’m okay.
Hobo: Okay, god bless you.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Lisa

Posted on October 26, 2017
Hobos, Homeless, Money & Class, Psychology, Washington Square Park

Wednesday XXX-liners

Man on cell: Yeah, I got girls who can do that…That too. You just call me back in an hour, I’ll be at the house…I know you make high-quality adult productions, you’re the kind of man I want to be working with…No, the girls talk through me…I got this one girl, very high quality, based in Oregon, she was in Las Vegas last week, she’ll do whatever you ask…

–Washington Square Park

Posted on August 28, 2017
All Wednesday One-Liners, Business and Commerce, On Cell, Porn, Washington Square Park

No Wednesday One-Liners in the Champagne Room

Soccer mom: In two weeks, my knitting circle’s going to the strip club.

–28th & Lex

Girl: I want to become a stripper so that I can see Patti LuPone in Gypsy every night.

–St. James Theatre

Overheard by: Erin

Loud NYU chick: Listen to the opening guitar riff of Voodoo child. It makes you want to be a stripper!

–Bobst Library

Overheard by: evil em

Six-year-old boy to parents: Oohh! Zombie strippers! Let’s see that!

–Port Authority

Posted on August 5, 2017
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Boys, Girls, Jobs & Careers, Kids, Library, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Music, NYU, Offers and requests, Port Authority, Strippers, Theater & Dance, Washington Square Park, Wishes & desires

Little Debbie Does Dallas Resonated with a Lot Of Americans

Tiny Asian girl: So it's been like two weeks since you had a cupcake?
Gangly white girl: Oh my god, you have no idea. It's been 16 days.

–Washington Square Park

Posted on March 1, 2016
Asians, Food, Girls, Questions, Time, Washington Square Park, Weirdness, White People

Fresh New Face to Mean Girl: Two Years

Production assistant: Lindsay, we need you right away.
Lindsay Lohan: Oh my God! Don’t talk to me like I’m some kind of normal person!

–7th Ave & 9th St

Overheard by: Ethan

Posted on February 9, 2016
A-List, About Celebrities, Washington Square Park

That Poor Blue Muppet Has Really Fallen on Hard Times

Toddler being pushed through park: Music!
Hobo, playing guitar: Give me cookies!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Anna P.

Posted on January 28, 2016
Food, Glad the Condom Broke, Hobos, Homeless, Kids, Parks, Singing, Washington Square Park

When Your Fairy Godmother Is Bobo the Squeegee Guy

Consoling friend: Just think about what you want out of it.
Crying girl: I really don’t know what I should do!
Eavesdropping hobo: Damn, bitch — do what the fuck you want!

–Washington Square Park

Posted on January 2, 2016
Advice, Friends, Hobos, Washington Square Park

Wednesday One-Liners Take Up Hobbies

Middle-aged woman: I really never cared for skiing, but I was so alone in my marriage, I found it was a great way to meet men.

–Burritoville, 77th & 2nd

Meathead #1, to meathead #2: Hey! Want to go to a ballroom club?

–47th & Madison

Guy, to passersby: Game of chess? Play chess? Chess?…Also got chronic.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Phil

Posted on November 22, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Clubs, Guys, Idiots, Infidelity, Marriage, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Sports, Stupidity, Upper East Side, Washington Square Park, Women