Weirdness

Sometimes You Just Wanna Pinch Wednesday One-Liner's Cheeks

Gay guy: You know what's so cute, is Europe.

–Mott & Prince

Overheard by: Anna P.

College girl to friend: And I'm like "No, you can't chew on the couch. You can't have couch for breakfast." (pause) But what about you, are there any cute guys in your dorm?

–Downtown 1 Train

Girl on phone: Oh-h-h-h my gawd, girl, you don't even know! And then he goes "Damn, girl you in Delta Gamma? Nothing goes down faster than an anchor!" And then I was just like "Shut up!" but I did it anyways, I mean… he was cute.

–Gates to Fordham University

Man on cell picking through garbage can and walking away with trash in hand: Oh my god, I just found the cutest belt in a trash can! Honestly, the things people throw away!

–118th St & Amsterdam Ave

Gay guy marching in protest to another: The guys in this protest are much cuter than at the last protest I attended.

–63rd St & Broadway

After One Of Those, You Have to Clean the Bathroom and Your Entire Body

Guy #1: You know when you have to take the kind of dump when you have to take your shirt off?
Guy #2: Yeah?
Guy #1: It was like that.

–Ave A & St. Mark's

…Resourceful.

Girl #1: When I was pregnant I was addicted to eating deodorant.
Girl #2: Damn, girl, that's just wrong!
Girl #1: It was so bad I couldn't even see my man in prison cause I couldn't go that long without some deodorant. Secret was good, but I didn't like that Dove shit. Sometimes I'd have to test that stuff out in the store. I'm all takin' a little lick, puttin' it back if I don't like it.
Girl #2: Shit girl, you're crazy.

–6 Train

Shit Invented People to Lug It Around

Girl coming out of Key Food with bags: All we do in New York is lug shit around!
Guy with bags: I know!

–30th St & Ditmars

But I Don't Smile for the Camera Anymore

Drunken woman: Know what? If he does that one more time I'm gonna nail-file my teeth down to my brain.
Drunken man: I did that once. Not as bad as you'd think.

–BBQ Place, Times Square

Dear Miss Manners– What Would a Polite Young Lady Say in Response?

Street hustler: Ladies, wanna get pregnant? Try angel.
Girl in group of three: Did he just ask if we wanted to get pregnant?

–36th & 7th

Overheard by: dani solina

Because It's My Turn

Person #1: Just take your pants off and try… please?
Person #2: No, I don't want to.
Person #1: Then why are you holding yourself?

–FAO Schwartz, 5th Ave

…But Only to See His Avocados.

Party girl #1 looking at camera: Whoa… When did this happen?
Party girl #2: Oh, this was awesome. Guacamole make-out sessions. He was all like “I just wanna kiss you with all kinds of sloppy dips between our lips.”
Party girl #1: So you did? And you got a picture?
Party girl #2: Hell yeah!
Party girl #1: You are so going home with him tonight, aren't you?
Party girl #2: Hell yeah!

–Studio B, Banker St, Brooklyn

The Wonderful Thing About Tigger Is Tigger's Wonderful Thing

Teen brunette: And no, you cannot stand up in a meeting for worship and announce that you slept with Tigger.
Teen blonde: Yeah. Quakers are liberal, but not that liberal!

–Grand Central

A Septic Tank, but Still

20-something girl #1: Yeah, a guy's not so much a lady-killer when he drops the phrase “your boobs are so awesome!” without a hint of irony.
20-something girl #2: That's nothing. I once had a guy tell me my vagina was like a tank.
20-something girl #1, laughing: Are you serious?

–NJ Transit

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