Wednesday A1 Liners

Crazy hobo: Taco Bell is outta meat. Taco Bell… Is outta meat. I ask for a taco, they say, "We outta meat." What the fuck!? How you run outta meat at Taco Bell? You don't see me runnin' outta weed! Shit. Taco Bell is outta meat.

–Wendy's, 14th Street

Overheard by: Zack

Curious teenage girl: What is that on the floor? Ew! I hate when people leave bags of meat on the subway!

–R Train

Jewish lawyer, answering his desk phone: Weinstein's house of kosher pork. How may I direct your call?

–Newsroom, Midtown

Preppy teen: I am like, a total whore for salami.

–280th St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: casayoto

Woman on cell talking about her upcoming weekend: Mah husband's gone, my kids is gone, I'm jus' goin' lie on the floor and eat some baloney. Mmm hmm. (pauses, listens to person on phone) Das' right. I'm gonna eat some baloney, and some cheese?-I'm goin' make myself a baloney sandwich.

–4th St Station

Overheard by: Jess

Posted on August 13, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Crazies, Ethnic Food, Girls, Gripes, Hobos, Jews, Judaism, Junk Food & Fast Food, Lawyers, Leisure, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, Preppies, Public Transportation, Restaurants & Cafes, Teens, Weed, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Are Going Through a Dry Spell

50-year-old female crackhead hobo chasing a 30-year-old male post office worker: Why won't you fuck me? Come fuck me! Are you too scared to fuck me?!

–50th St & 5th Ave

Man talking to stranger outside peep show: No, no, no. This is a peep show. If you want to fuck someone, you have to go somewhere else.

–8th Ave, Midtown

Horny NYU hipster: I haven't had sex in 3 months! If I were a heroin addict I'd have been clean for 2 months already!

–NYU

Loud middle-aged woman on cell: And I was like, "Don't worry, lady, I'm not getting any action!"

–Stuyvesant Town

Overheard by: the libbernator

Old man to old lady: No, I will not bonk you!

–Avenue J & E 12 St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Robert

Posted on August 13, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Crazies, Crazy, Druggies, Heroin, Hipsters, Hobos, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, NYU, Offers and requests, Old People, On Cell, Questions, Sex, Strangers, Stuyvesant Town, Time, Weirdness, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Are Just Playin'

Guy to girl: The point of the game is to make the other person unwittingly look at your genitals.

–106th & Amsterdam

Ghetto kid to friend: If I was in the middle of sex, I would say I'll come back to you later, play in the poker game, and then come back and bust that nut.

–9th St & 8th Ave, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Rahstah

Worker to partner: You know what I'm going to do since I don't have to work tomorrow? I'm going to turn the volume on my laptop all the way up and play pinball until 1 am. It will be so loud! Ping ping ping ping!

–69th & Lexington

Overheard by: 6th Floor Blogger

Hipster girl on cell: I'm going home to eat and relax first, and then I'll be over to play Tropical Barbie bingo.

–Lorimer/Metropolitan, Brooklyn

Group of little girls to little boy: Wanna play Mormon family with us?

–Brooklyn Botanic Garden

Overheard by: James

Posted on August 13, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Coworkers, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Kids, Laptop, Offers and requests, On Cell, Players, Private Parts, Questions, Religion, Sex, Upper East Side, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Video Games, Weirdness

How Do You Get a Flyer Guy to Shut Up? Discuss

Flyer guy: Rainbow room! Discount admission! Observatory! Rainbow room!
(goth chick unbuttons her shirt)
Flyer guy: Rainbow room… Uh…
(goth chick reveals a Batman t-shirt)
Flyer guy, recovering: Discount admission! Observatory!
Goth chick (in menacing voice): I'm Batman.
Flyer guy: Rainbow room! Discount admission! Batman! We got batman in Gotham! Observatory! Rainbow room! Batman! Discount admission!

–Rockefeller Plaza

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Posted on August 12, 2008
Buildings, Default, Flyer people, Free stuff!, Girls, Goths, Offers and requests, Rockefeller Center, Superheroes, Weirdness

Obsessively. Why?

Girl #1: You wrinkle your nose when you sleep.
Girl #2: I do?
Girl #1: Yeah.
Girl #2: Wait, you watch me while I'm sleeping?

–Port Authority

Overheard by: Ariana

Posted on August 12, 2008
Body Parts, Default, Fears, Friends, Girls, Port Authority, Questions, Weirdness

Or the Key to the Lock-Box Containing It, Anyway

Chick #1: Let's have a baby together.
Chick #2: Let's do it. Which one of us is going to have it?
Chick #1: You are.
Chick #2: Why me?
Chick #1: Because I have the dick.

–Party, 6th St, Park Slope

Overheard by: hooked up with her the night before

Posted on August 11, 2008
Babies, Compare/Contrast, Default, Friends, Gender issues, Girls, Offers and requests, Park Slope, Penis, Weirdness

A Giant McDonald's Sign Is My Sun

(at night)
Hobo #1: Yo, is that the moon or the sun?
Hobo #2: I dunno, nigga. I'm not from this neighborhood.

–23rd & 8th

Overheard by: harrie

Posted on August 10, 2008
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Default, Hobos, NYC Geography, Questions, Weirdness

Just Form an Orderly Line–No Pushing

Gay friend: Yeah right, I'm sure it's not that good.
Girl (loudly): Ohmigod, my sex is so that good. (to passengers) Who wants to try?
(silence)

–F train

Overheard by: definitely not me

Posted on August 10, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Default, Friends, Girls, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Queer guys, Sex, Weirdness

Then Everybody Launched Into the “Kit-Kat” Song

(woman walks into packed theater looking for boyfriend)
Woman, yelling: Jim*? Jim, where are you?
Random guy in the audience #1: Here!
Random guy #2: Over here!
Random guy #3: Here!
(entire theater starts shouting “here!”)
Woman: C'mon, gimme a break.

–Imax Theater

Overheard by: Goober

Posted on August 10, 2008
Default, Guys, Laughter, Movie Theaters, Questions, Strangers, Weirdness, Women

Next Time We Go Shoe Shopping, Your Grandpa's Staying at Home

Creepy old man to teenage girls: Oh my god! Your feet! They're so beautiful. The toes and everything!
Teenage girl #1: Did he just say my… feet?
Teenage girl #2: Yes, he definitely just said our feet. Toes and everything.
Teenage girl #1: Figures.

–14th & 6th

Posted on August 9, 2008
Beauty, Body Parts, Compliments, Creepsters, Default, Girls, Physical appearance, Teens, The Village, Weirdness

Weirdness