White guy: Are you enjoying your apostasy burger?
Indian guy: Yeah.
White guy: So, what — sins only count if you commit them in India?
Indian guy: That’s why I love America.
–Burger King, Union Tpke
White guy: Are you enjoying your apostasy burger?
Indian guy: Yeah.
White guy: So, what — sins only count if you commit them in India?
Indian guy: That’s why I love America.
–Burger King, Union Tpke
Bum: Hey you got some money so I can get an iced cappuccino?
Concerned white man: Sorry man, I don’t have any more.
Bum: I’m too lazy to work, HAHAHAHAH. [crazy cackle]
–71st & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Donny
Grey-haired white guy #1: That presentation had way too many numbers.
Grey-haired white guy #2: He loves numbers.
Grey-haired white woman: Numbers are good, but that was too many numbers.
Grey-haired white guy #1: I don't like numbers. Yo no quiero muchos numeros.
Grey-haired white guy #2: Si! Yo entiendo.
(they crack up)
Grey-haired white woman: Wait… What does that mean?
Grey-haired white guy #1: It means “I don't like numbers.” (they laugh again)
Grey-haired white guy #1: I heard Hispanic-speaking people don't actually say “me gusta.” Anyone know if that's true?
Grey-haired white guy #2: Hmm, I thought it was just Colombians.
Grey-haired white woman: I used to know a Puerto Rican woman.
–Financial District
Overheard by: Office Temp
White guy to black girlfriend: God, I'm so racist.
–Canal St & Elizabeth St
Big black lady: So, have they fired that African guy yet? (laughs hysterically) Nah, you right. Mexicans won't do that shit no more!
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: NewHaircut
White woman to black woman: So, tell me about your people. Do you know where they come from?
–Whitehall St & South St
Overheard by: Jon A.
White girl walking in Harlem: Dang, even the squirrels are black here!
–125th & Amsterdam
Tween: Mom, what's Negro Day?
–Neil Simon Theatre
Little blond girl to black mother: You mean we're black?
–Hudson & Barrow
Overheard by: Emily
White guy exiting bodega: Yo! As-salam alaykum!
Middle Eastern guy behind counter: Hey! Kick his ass, sea-bass!
–Astoria
Overheard by: ChrisW
White guy: So, do you have any plans for this evening?
Asian girl: Yeah, being angry!
White guy: Oh, that sounds good.
–Houston & 1st
Overheard by: Kristin
Little white girl: Hey, that’s a cool pack.
Little black boy: Thanks! Have you ever taken the D train?
Little white girl: No.
Little black boy: It goes all the way to Africa.
–6 train
Overheard by: Nick Kindelsperger
White girl #1: Before I moved to New York I was white!
White girl #2: Really? I could imagine it.
–West Elm, 17th St
White guy #1: What’s she look like?
White guy #2: She’s really hot, she’s black.
White guy #1: You mean African-American.
White guy #2: No, I don’t.
White guy #1: But you said she’s black.
White guy #2: Right, she’s Sicilian. She’s neither African nor American.
White guy #1: Well, her family must have come from Africa at some point.
White guy #2: Yeah, like 1000 years ago.
White guy #1: Ok, then she’s African.
–39th & 3rd
Man: Tonight we’ll go to the Polish restaurant, or we’ll go see Spamalot. Either way, we need the laughs.
–Elevator, 250 West 57th St
Four-year-old standing and pointing as Gaston is about to stab the Beast: Nooo! Stop that!
–Lunt-Fontanne Theatre
White chick: I’m entirely too white for this show. That, or too Canadian. They spell ‘color’ without a ‘u’!
—The Color Purple, Broadway Theatre
Guy on cell: I’m at Marie’s Crisis. Yeah, everyone at the party was ugly, and so I left, and I figured if I’m gonna hang out with ugly people, I might as well sing showtunes.
–Marie’s Crisis piano bar, 50 Grove St
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Small child during Tarzan: He’s dead ’cause he got shot.
–Richard Rodgers Theater, 45th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Adam
Black 40-something lady passing theatre: Ain’t dis a play o’ somethin’?
–Outside Nederlander Theatre on 41st St
Overheard by: A-Mo
