White People

[Young black girl bumps into a young white girl rounding a corner.]Young black girl: Oh, I’m sorry miss, excuse me.
[Young white woman gives the young black girl a nasty look, and continues walking.]Young black girl: I don’t know why da fuck I use manners anymore.

–Lehman College

White chick: And they kept talking shit about gay people.
White guy: Fucking bigots. Those people should be lynched.
White chick: Shh! I told you to stop talking about lynching in this neighborhood!

–143rd & Broadway

WASP man on curb: You almost ran my wife over!
Imitation mobster jumping out of Mercedes: Yeah, you wanna get shot, asshole?!

–W 4th & Perry St

Overheard by: neko

Man: I wonder why they named him that?
Woman: He must be shaped like their favorite vegetable.

–Midtown elevator

Overheard by: Lero

Earth chick on cell: I had meditation and yoga class today. So, if you're coming over tonight we have to have spiritual sex.

–Barnes & Noble

Guy on cell: You're never going to believe this, but I need to tell you anyways. I just did some witchcraft.

–9th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Smoking Student

Yoga teacher: Not being able to do something can teach you a lot about yourself. Like how you're a fucking loser.

–Midtown

Rich white girl with dog in purse: Yeah, so when I went to go buy a dog, I picked Pookie out because he's a Pisces and I'm a Virgo, and that way our personalities will match.

–C Train

Overheard by: evan

White dude to another: I'd like to see what his chi looks like.

–Chinatown

Overheard by: Aileen

White boy #1: Am I the big, hairy guy?
White boy #2: No, you’re the guy with the assless chaps.

–During game of XBox 360 Guitar Hero, Apartment, Ave D

Black hobo: …a Palm Pilot. It’s like a super-powered cellphone. Damn, you’re a ignorant-ass know-nothing white trash motherfucker!
White hobo: Who you callin’ white?

–29th & Madison

Young white daughter: Mommy, what's a black artist?
White mother, awkwardly: It's an artist who's…well, black.
Young daughter: Then how come you said you don't like them?
White mother, looking around nervously: I didn't say that, honey. I just said I don't like these paintings. The colors are too dark.
Young daughter, loudly: That's because he's black!
(mother hurriedly pulls daughter out of the room)

–The Whitney

(waiting in line at the DMV)
Black supervisor with thick Jamaican accent to preppy white mom accompanying her daughter: You sit down. (mumbles something else)
White mom: Did he say “only Africans wait in line”?
White daughter: No, mom, “only *applicants* wait in line.”

–Harlem DMV

Elderly white woman #1, sitting in booth: Where you get your money? Sticky bitch!
Elderly white woman #2, walking away with walker: Heh, heh, heh.
Elderly white woman #1: Sticky bitch.

–McDonald's, Brooklyn