Explaining Will Take More Time Than I Have Before Someone Hits Me, Sweetie

Young white daughter: Mommy, what's a black artist?
White mother, awkwardly: It's an artist who's…well, black.
Young daughter: Then how come you said you don't like them?
White mother, looking around nervously: I didn't say that, honey. I just said I don't like these paintings. The colors are too dark.
Young daughter, loudly: That's because he's black!
(mother hurriedly pulls daughter out of the room)

–The Whitney

Posted on January 12, 2015
Colors, Kids, Moms, More museums, Parents, Questions, Race, Visual Art, White People

Which Is So Long It Stretches Around the Black

(waiting in line at the DMV)
Black supervisor with thick Jamaican accent to preppy white mom accompanying her daughter: You sit down. (mumbles something else)
White mom: Did he say “only Africans wait in line”?
White daughter: No, mom, “only *applicants* wait in line.”

–Harlem DMV

Posted on January 9, 2015
Black People, Bosses, Girls, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Moms, Questions, Race, Stupidity, White People, Words

Eh, I Wouldn't Remember If You Told Me

Elderly white woman #1, sitting in booth: Where you get your money? Sticky bitch!
Elderly white woman #2, walking away with walker: Heh, heh, heh.
Elderly white woman #1: Sticky bitch.

–McDonald's, Brooklyn

Posted on January 8, 2015
Brooklyn, Insults, Money & Class, Old People, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, White People, Women

To Be Fair, a Lot Of Us Would Like to Forget About Connecticut

Skinny white girl: Okay, so you know how they're always saying “the Tri-State area”?
Hispanic friend: Yeah.
Skinny white girl: They mean New York, New Jersey, and Atlantic City right?
Hispanic friend: I think so…

–Nail Salon, Kew Gardens

Posted on January 3, 2015
Friends, Girls, Latinos, Names, NYC Geography, Queens, Questions, Skinny People, White People

You’ve Seen Pulp Fiction Too Many Times

Black guy: …And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.
White guy: Are you trying to mug me or what?

–7 train, 74th St Roosevelt

Posted on January 1, 2015
Black People, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, On the Subway, White People

I’m More Law-Review-White

White boy #1: Hey, do you watch wresting?
White boy #2: No, I’m not that white.

–Columbia University

Posted on December 31, 2014
Columbia (& Barnard), Race, White People

Think of the Years I Wasted Being Kind to Food

White guy: Are you enjoying your apostasy burger?
Indian guy: Yeah.
White guy: So, what — sins only count if you commit them in India?
Indian guy: That’s why I love America.

–Burger King, Union Tpke

Posted on December 29, 2014
India Indians, Religion, White People

Okay, So Why Would You Need Coffee?

Bum: Hey you got some money so I can get an iced cappuccino?
Concerned white man: Sorry man, I don’t have any more.
Bum: I’m too lazy to work, HAHAHAHAH. [crazy cackle]

–71st & Madison Ave

Overheard by: Donny

Posted on December 22, 2014
Coffee, Crazies, Default, Homeless, Laughter, Men, Money & Class, Offers and requests, Panhandling, Street, Upper East Side, White People

You've Always Lived on the Edge, Irene.

Grey-haired white guy #1: That presentation had way too many numbers.
Grey-haired white guy #2: He loves numbers.
Grey-haired white woman: Numbers are good, but that was too many numbers.
Grey-haired white guy #1: I don't like numbers. Yo no quiero muchos numeros.
Grey-haired white guy #2: Si! Yo entiendo.
(they crack up)
Grey-haired white woman: Wait… What does that mean?
Grey-haired white guy #1: It means “I don't like numbers.” (they laugh again)
Grey-haired white guy #1: I heard Hispanic-speaking people don't actually say “me gusta.” Anyone know if that's true?
Grey-haired white guy #2: Hmm, I thought it was just Colombians.
Grey-haired white woman: I used to know a Puerto Rican woman.

–Financial District

Overheard by: Office Temp