White People

White girl to boyfriend: I want to go to my father's country one day…I want to go where my father was born…Hades.
Boyfriend: Where?
White girl: Hades, I wanna go to Hades where my father was born…you know, that little island in the Dominican Republic?

–PATH

Teenage son, to his white dad: Dad, you look like a homeless person!
White mom: Yeah, you want a dollar, nigga!?

–87th & 3rd

Overheard by: Rob Dobrenski

Friendly white guy to black couple: Where are you people from?
Black chick: What do you mean ‘you people’?!

–Cafe Habana

Overheard by: Ari

White Muslim Woman: The women who were sitting here were laughing at me because of how I look. I’m a social worker. Some of my clients are OMRDD so I read lips real well. Because I’m Muslim they didn’t like my outfit. They think we don’t care about how we dress. I was actually Krishna before I was Muslim. The Christmas holidays, the spirit is supposed to be giving. My daughter’s Christian still. That’s why I’m laughing. In my house we used to have Kwanzaa, everything. I knew my husband for three years. I taught him English. I was his teacher! I just converted. Reversion, they call it. Then two weeks later we got married. English I taught him and he was teaching me Arabic. We met in a store ’cause they have restrictions about coming up to a woman’s apartment…They don’t think you understand English, but I speak Spanish and Italian. One time this lady said she thought I was disgusting. I told her “You’re disgusting!” in Spanish. I was peeing my pants. I was hysterical.

–D Train

Mr. Ivory: Why can’t I say the “N” word?
Mr. Ebony: Certain people can’t say certain things. Like we as Americans can say “Americans are so dumb to vote in Bush again”, but let a Canadian say that same thing and I will slap his ass.

–East Village

Guy #1: Dude, I was at work today, just shootin’ the shit, killin’ some extra time, and I came across the fucking coolest website.
Guy #2: Oh yeah?
Guy #1: Yeah, it’s called OverheardinNewYork.com. It’s just all these little snippets of overheard conversations, they’re fuckin’ hilarious!

–Irvine Spectrum, Irvine, California

Hobo: Excuse me peoples, but can I get a dime or quarter?
College Student: Sorry, I can’t help you sir.
Hobo: Thanks a lot, whitey!

–161st Street, The Bronx

Overheard by: Peter Whalen

A homeless man steals money from a yuppie/African immigrant, who promptly grabs the homeless guy and wrestles him to the floor.

Hobo: I ain’t bothering you! I ain’t bothering you!
Passenger #1: I’m betting on the black guy!
Passenger #2: They’re both black!
Passenger #1: I’m betting on the blacker guy!

The immigrant throws the homeless man out of the car at the next stop.

Passenger #3: Man, he’s tough! Back in his country, they don’t have McDonald’s to go to for dinner! They hunt rhinos over there!

–6 Train

Overheard by: Todd Seavey

Younger, chubby black guy: I'm tryna see where I can get some wraps.
Older white woman walking with him: Well, there is a sandwich shop up there, they have sandwiches, and wraps, and…
Younger, chubby black guy: No. I want some blunt wraps.

–145th & St. Nicholas Ave

Latin guy behind deli counter: Do you need anything else, ma?
Crazy white lady: Don't call me “ma”! I'm not black, I'm not Spanish! I'm American!

–Key Foods, Park Slope, Brooklyn