Big black guy #1: Yo, does anybody know where we get off to go uptown?
White passenger: The next stop.
Big back guy #1: Yo, everyone shut up and listen to the white nigga! He’s givin’ us directions!
Big black guy #2: Ain’t no such thing as a white nigga, fool!
–F Train
Bag lady, pointing at three white girls: Eeeny, meeny, miney…changeeee?
White girl: Shit! If I knew she was gonna do that I would have had a dollar all ready to give to her!
–40th & 5th
Overheard by: Kate
White girl: So, how are you finding Atlanta?
Black girl: There are a lot more black people than I've ever seen.
–Broadway & 56th
Overheard by: marie
Cute, pigtailed five-year-old: I want my pills!
WASPy, harried-looking mother, to staring people: She means her vitamins. Ha, ha.
Cute, pigtailed five-year-old: No, mommy, my piiiiiiiiiiils!
–102nd & Broadway
Overheard by: I Want My Pill Too
Scraggly white dude #1: What’s The Host? I want to see that shit.
Scraggly white dude #2: What about this one — The Wire?
Scraggly white dude #1: Nah, I don’t like all that black people, drug dealing, hip hop shit.
Scraggly white dude #2: Yeah, me neither — like that movie Jungle Fever.
–F train platform
Overheard by: Leif
Black guy: Yeah man! You could jump in the tracks right now!
White guy: Are you sure the subway Superman will appear?
Black guy: Trust me, I’m sure.
–W 4th St station
Overheard by: ron cabrera
Headline by: Earl
Runners-Up:
· “…like WMD sure… or Jesus sure?” – k swin
· “Able to convince morons in a single sentence” – Erin
· “Another Supporter of Urban Darwinism” – ToddS
· “He’ll show up in 15 minutes with a spatula and a bucket of bleach” – Rob
· “It’s a Bird! It’s a Plane! Ah Fuck, It’s a Train.” – Justin
· “Kunta Kinte’s Revenge” – micah576
· “Malcom X’s Plan B” – Chris
· “That cold-death feeling just means he’s got you” – Leigh
· “Thinning the herd, Manhattan-style” – Tom Beckett
White woman to friend: Wow, this is a great place to meet straight people!
–Madison Square Garden
Dude to female passenger: If I was straight, I'd be hitting that, but I'm not straight, so I won't be hitting that.
–Downtown A Train
Overheard by: Maggie
Yelling blonde: What's my type? He should be straight, that's my type.
–68th & Columbus
Amateur philosopher: If I wasn't straight, I'd totally be gay.
–Edward R. Murrow High School, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Headaches
Teen girl to friend: They're not gay! They're just old!
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Peter
Really white guy (loudly): Who is that fucking nigger you're working for now?
Another white guy: Pleasant….so do you live around here now?
Really white guy: Yeah, this is my hood.
–Deli, Greenpoint Ave / Manhattan Ave
Overheard by: Jesse
White teen girl #1: Oh my god, he is, like, so caliente! Haha, I just said that like the biggest white girl!
White teen girl #2, sarcastically: What, you say that like you’re not proud of being a white girl!
White teen girl #1: Haha… Well, I’m not actually white. My nationality is European, which is actually much better than white.
White teen girl #2: Yeah, totally.
–Q101 bus, Ditmars Blvd, Astoria
Hobo: Hey, can you guys spare some money?
Chick: No, sorry.
Hobo: That is a white lie from some white people!
–Mott & Spring
