Scrooge McDuck’s Wednesday One-Liners

Fashionista to another: It didn’t taste that good, but I really needed the money.

–Madison Ave

Overheard by: John Galt Jr.

Fashion student: The thing I can’t stand about fine arts is how obsessed with money it’s become… Yeah, so I’m leaving the program to study advertising.

–Whole Foods, Union Square

Overheard by: nova scotia

Security guard to another: I ain’t here for the money. I’m here for the fuckin’ prestige.

–Westminster Dog Show, Madison Square Garden

Overheard by: Amber Star

White chick on cell: Hi, honey! How are you? Are you being tickled by coins? Are you being tickled by coins?!

–LaGuardia Airport

Overheard by: mela

Guy on corner: Can you spare any change or frequent flyer miles?

–14th & 6th

Overheard by: Scientific

Frumpy lady to Joey Ramone lookalike: I’m feeling awfully constipated, baby! Constipated with money is the way I like to be!

–3rd Ave, Bay Ridge

Posted on October 31, 2014
Airports, All Wednesday One-Liners, Arts & Letters, At the Airport, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Default, Fashionistas, Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Jobs & Careers, Madison Square Garden, Money & Class, Offers and requests, On Cell, Panhandling, Penn Station, Questions, Rich people, Security Guards, Store, Street, Students, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Weirdness, White People, Women

Wednesday One-liners for Other Places

Megaphone lady: Don’t buy from Canada! Don’t go to Canada! Don’t support Canada at all!…Don’t buy Canadian beer!

–49th & 6th

Posted on October 25, 2014
Anger Management, Animals & Nature, Crime and Punishment, Food, Friendship, Health and Hygiene, Jobs & Careers, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, One-liners, Queens, Relationships, Restaurants & Cafes, Sex & Relationships, STDs, Stupidity, Suits, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, White People

The Rising Popularity of America's Next Top Model Has Everyone Confused

White teacher to ninth grade class: Okay, everyone, drop your papers on my desk. Drop it like it's hot!
Latino student (laughing): Miss, you can't say things like “drop it like it's hot”!
White teacher: Why not?
Latino student: 'cause you're white! White people don't say things like “drop it like it's hot”. White people say things like “neat!” and “there is no “I” in team”.

–The Bronx

Posted on October 24, 2014
Latinos, Race, School and studying, Students, Teachers/Professors, Weirdness, White People

Even General Powell?

Big black guy #1: Yo, does anybody know where we get off to go uptown?
White passenger: The next stop.
Big back guy #1: Yo, everyone shut up and listen to the white nigga! He’s givin’ us directions!
Big black guy #2: Ain’t no such thing as a white nigga, fool!

–F Train

Posted on October 12, 2014
Black People, Default, Directions, Guys, NYC Geography, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, Race, White People

Though “Eeny, Meeny, Miney, Money” Would've Been a Tad More Clever

Bag lady, pointing at three white girls: Eeeny, meeny, miney…changeeee?
White girl: Shit! If I knew she was gonna do that I would have had a dollar all ready to give to her!

–40th & 5th

Overheard by: Kate

Posted on October 10, 2014
Bag ladies, Girls, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Nicknames & name calling, White People

Aren't You from the South Bronx?

White girl: So, how are you finding Atlanta?
Black girl: There are a lot more black people than I've ever seen.

–Broadway & 56th

Overheard by: marie

Posted on October 10, 2014
Black People, Girls, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Questions, Race, White People

You Sold Them to the Maid Again, Didn’t You?

Cute, pigtailed five-year-old: I want my pills!
WASPy, harried-looking mother, to staring people: She means her vitamins. Ha, ha.
Cute, pigtailed five-year-old: No, mommy, my piiiiiiiiiiils!

–102nd & Broadway

Overheard by: I Want My Pill Too

Posted on October 2, 2014
Default, Girls, Kids, Lies, Psychology, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, White People, Wishes & desires

Stupid Diversity

Scraggly white dude #1: What’s The Host? I want to see that shit.
Scraggly white dude #2: What about this one — The Wire?
Scraggly white dude #1: Nah, I don’t like all that black people, drug dealing, hip hop shit.
Scraggly white dude #2: Yeah, me neither — like that movie Jungle Fever.

–F train platform

Overheard by: Leif