Loud lady #1: My daughter is so happy, I mean she is just so happy! I look at her and I think, ‘Who is this happy person?’
Loud lady #2: That’s because she knows she is loved…
Loud lady #3: When I was her age I was writing in my diary, ‘I hate myself I wish I was dead.’
–53rd & Broadway
Overheard by: on my honeymoon
Man, boarding downtown E: This is the downtown E?
Woman: Yes.
Man: You sure?
Woman: I’m positive.
Man: Aight, ’cause if those numbers start gettin’ bigger, yo head gonna get bigger, bitch.
–E train, 42nd St
Overheard by: Ivan
Woman #1: Oooh! Look! A kid’s store! It’s so cute!
Woman #2: I hate you. I hate you for telling me that.
–5th Ave
Overheard by: Hannah
Woman: See? I’m really good at boning.
–Gavroche, 14th & 7th
Overheard by: the immature restaurant guest
Woman, yelling over to man during downpour: How come every man I date ends up getting me wet?
–Water Club, 500 E 30th
Overheard by: Carolyn
Burly guy: Dude, can you help me get it up?
–Gold’s Gym, 250 West 54th
Teen: I was so thirsty. Anything that went in my mouth, I swallowed.
–LIRR
Overheard by: kaydot
NYU trendoid: I need some nuts, like, hardcore.
–MoMA
Conductor: Please let the passengers get off before pushing on the train. Get them off. Get them off. Get them off fast!
–Manhattan bound L train
Overheard by: Philip
Girl: Ooo! I’ll suck on it with you!
–3rd St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: confused grad student
Little kid: What happened to your eye?
Woman with eye patch: Some little kid poked it out.
–Park Slope Food Co-op, Brooklyn
Woman #1: I know he be my baby’s daddy.
Woman #2: Yeah? How?
Woman #1: They be lookin’ the same. He got no teeth and my baby ain’t got no teeth eitha’.
–6 train, Brooklyn Bridge
Overheard by: lauren
Yuppie woman #1: I just couldn’t believe it. Just because I give my child everything he wants and asks for, she has the nerve to tell me that I’m giving my son a sense of entitlement.
Yuppie woman #2: I can’t believe she said that.
Yuppie woman #1: Yeah. The nerve!
–Downtown 2 train, Fulton St
Woman #1: Yo! Hurry up in there!
Woman #2: Don’t you be tellin’ me to rush! I got my woman needs, too! I had to change my pads! Betcha didn’t wanna hear that, huh, didya? Didya?
Woman #3: No. We didn’t.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Alanna
Lady: Excuse me, do you know how to get to the Holliswood Hospital?
Teen: Holliswood Mental Hospital?
Lady: Yes, the Holliswood Psychiatric Hospital.
Teen: Yeah, like I said, the mental hospital.
Lady: Psychiatric.
Teen: Mental.
–Union Turnpike & 188th
Overheard by: Zeve
Old woman inside apartment: You gotta come here and look at this!
Old man: Do I gotta put my pants on to come see it?
–80th & 3rd
Overheard by: Jo
