Girl #1: I am so tired! I have total jet lag.
Girl #2: You can’t get jet lag; we never left the Eastern time zone.
–LaGuardia flight from Miami
Girl #1: I am so tired! I have total jet lag.
Girl #2: You can’t get jet lag; we never left the Eastern time zone.
–LaGuardia flight from Miami
Conductor: Attention passengers, there will be no purgalism on this train tonight.
Drunken passengers: Did he just say “purgalism”? What the fuck is “purgalism”? Is that even a word?
(five minutes later)
Conductor: There will also be no puking on this train. No puking and no purgalism. I will not be taking any questions tonight.
–LIRR
Chick: Excuse me, are the trains running? Because there's one just sitting there…
Station clerk: Nah, they runnin', they runnin'! He just chillin' a little!
–215th Street 1 Station
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Guy #1: Isn’t that festival around here somewhere?
Guy #2: Yeah, it’s down that way. What do they call it?
Guy #1: Cinco DiMaggio.
–Mott & Spring
Overheard by: Cryptonomic B
Man collecting change for homeless New Yorkers: Hey folks, you know we can't do it without you, and blah blah blah and yadda yadda yadda.
Passerby: (giggles)
Man collecting change: Oh, you heard that?
–Union Square
Girl: This can’t be good. It says ‘Phenylketonurics: Contains phenylalanine.’
Guy #1: Isn’t that a vegetable?
Guy #2: No, it’s okay. It’s Italian.
–3 train
Overheard by: Jessica
Crazy man dressed like a King: Everyone, I just bought the sun! So if you don't mind, I'd like a hundred dollars an hour if you're using my sunlight.
–Sheep Meadow, Central Park
MTA track worker to another: Why does everybody wanna die tonight, Eric? Is there a full moon or something?
–49th St Station
Overheard by: Jon A.
Man talking to himself on imaginary cellphone: There will never be peace until the planet explodes. Then there will be peace. (pause) Yes, I took my medication today.
–R Train
Overheard by: Matt Giella
Guy in line for a play: I don't take my sunglasses off because the sun never sets on a badass
–41st & 7th
Overheard by: clara
Teen thug to another: He said he likes sunsets. Who says he likes sunsets?
–Macon & Marcy, Brooklyn
Overheard by: g
Co-ed: And Galileo's like, "Saturn has rings!" And Kepler's like, "Oh my god, really?" And Galileo's like, "Ya, really!"
–1 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Manager: Gary, you serious, you need to go to the bathroom?
Cashier: I need to take, like, a number 4 right now.
Manager: Ew!
Cashier: I don't even know what that means.
–Duane Reade
Tween girl #1: What? Seriously? You are so dumb. D-O-M!
Tween girl #2: It’s D-O-M-B! Are you kidding?!
–57th & 5th
Guy #1: They put lead in ice cream so it makes you retarded.
Guy #2: Yeah?
Guy #1: Yeah, they put all sorts of chemicals in food; genocide, pesticide…
–A train
