20-something: Whenever my boyfriend says “dude bro” I think he is saying “dude bra,” which is troublesome.
20-something's friend, who was focused on ice cream: Wait, I'm sorry, I wasn't listening… Did you say Tim wears a dude bra?
–49th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Ashley
Girl: Yes, a boob hickey is called a “bicky”. Wait. Did you say her name was Vicky?
Boy: Shut up.
Girl: Your new girlfriend is named after the hickey her dad put on her mom's vagina!
–Prince St
Overheard by: sam
Lady on cell: I've been standing here for like fifteen minutes…I don't know which one to choose. It's so hard…it's been like years since I've bought toothpaste.
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: Doreen
40-something woman: I'm always wondering, is it teeth or tits?
–MJ Armstrong's Public House
Overheard by: JP
Girl to friends looking into camera: Jane* got the foreskin stuck in her teeth.
–Grand St, Brooklyn
Mother to daughter: Your tooth came out last night. I didn't want to disturb you, but at least you have your other teeth in.
–Hester & Grand
Flustered strand employee: He left his teeth on the floor and just took off!
–Strand Bookstore, 12th St & Broadway
Older Asian gentleman: A Gigilo?
Younger Asian gentleman: Yeah, a gigilo is a male prostitute.
–53rd & 5th
Drunk high-class hooker: I wanna tell you a joke.
Drunk suit: Okay, what is it?
Drunk high-class hooker: What is the definition of “indefinitely”?
Drunk suit: I dunno, what?
Drunk high-class hooker: When your balls are against my ass, you're in… definitely!
–Del Frisco's Steak House
Overheard by: the itis
Mother: What's the name of the play?
Daughter: The Misanthrope.
Mother: How do you spell that?
Daughter: It's with an “e”
Mother: That doesn't help me.
–Barnes & Noble
Overheard by: John Blaze
9th grade girl #1: Yo, this shit is mad boring. This school's a damn waste of ma time. Plus, it's grimy and nasty, all the girls have that thing that begins with a “c,” what's it called?
9th grade girl #2: Cooties?
9th grade girl #1: Nah.
9th grade girl #2: Chlamydia?
9th grade girl #1: Yeah, that's it! That shit is annoying.
–M86 Bus
Girl on cell: My ex-boyfriend used to call the subway "The MTA," and I was like, "Yeah…this isn't working out."
–Penn Station
Overheard by: I would've dumped him too
Teenager on cell: If, hypothetically, what we had been doing was dating, then technically, hypothetically, he just broke up with me. Fucking douche.
–Finacial District
Cute girl: Don't you know the rules of break-ups? You have to clean out the drawer. You can't bring old lube to a new relationship.
–Essex & Grand
Overheard by: yaletownkid
Guy to friend: So you're telling me that I broke up with her because of lube?
–Park Slope
Guy on cell: Look, I know I said "forever." It's not your fault! To be honest, I just never really liked you that much!
–West 4th St. Subway Entrance
Preppy boy: That was the worst part about breaking up with my ex-girlfriend. She got a 50% discount at Polo!
–Bloomingdale's
Homeboy to friends: Man, growing up I was sure that “onomatopoeia” was the longest word in English.
Friend: No doubt.
–43rd & Lexington
Girl #1: You remember on that cartoon Rugrats there was that monster named Reptar?
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: I had a dream last night where I was trying to replace the word “cool” with “Reptar”.
Girl #2: That's strange.
Girl #1: Yes, yes it is.
–LIRR
