Man #1: What is going on here?
Man #2: They are filming the new Sex in the City movie with Sarah Jessica Parker. They have the entrance to the subway blocked off.
Man #1: Wonderful. I wouldn’t even know what Sarah Jessica Parker looks like.
Woman nearby: Hi. I’m Sarah Jessica Parker.
Man #1: Nice to meet you. Can I go home now?
Sarah Jessica Parker: Sure, go ahead.
–Outside 6 train entrance
Overheard by: Matt
Mandy Moore: So, what’s the plan for the party?
Publicist: So, I was thinking, you show up at the party, right? And they check your name or whatever, and then, get this, a clown escorts you to your table.
Mandy Moore: A clown?
Publicist: I know, right?
–Elevator, The Archive Building, Greenwich & Christopher
Queer #1: Whatcha reading?
Queer #2: Jessica Simpson’s suing someone.
Queer #3: Let me see.
Queer #2 passes over a folder.
Queer #1: What? No pictures?
Queer #2: It’s a lawsuit; there are no pictures in a lawsuit.
–Hampton Jitney
Overheard by: Todd
Chick: Then he peer-pressured me into being morbidly obese!
–1 train
Girl on cell: Nothing’s bigger than Oprah, not even my mother’s ass!
–Ocean Pkwy and Neptune Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ilysse Weisenfeld
Dude with flyers: New York Sports Club! Only 37 dollars! Get yo’ fat ass to the gym!
–Court & Joralemon, Brooklyn
Overheard by: elwood
Little boy: Mommy, I’m sick of all the fat girls in Coney Island.
–Queens Center Mall
Walking VD: It’s not cheating if she’s fat.
–Outside Jugo Juice, Times Square
Teen girl on cell: Ugh, great. Now she’s just going to make fun of me because I’m short and fat! Oh my God!
–Q46 bus
Overheard by: Melissa
Teen girl: Hey, I’m a Scientologist.
Tom Cruise: Oh, really? What echelon are you in?
Teen girl: [awkwardly quiet] Uh… number three?
Tom Cruise: Exactly.
—Mission: Impossible III gala premiere, TriBeCa Film Festival, BMCC
Overheard by: mademoiselle schaeffer
Guy #1: Can you think of anyone who, in their prime, was hotter than Jessica Alba is right now?
Guy #2: Oh, yeah, totally. Like, Bridget Bardot, and Apollonia in Purple Rain.
–5th Avenue & 10th Street
Overheard by: Christina Walker
Governor Pataki: Go out and study hard so you don’t get a bad exam on your grades.
–Cantor Film Center, East 8th Street
Overheard by: StyX
Man #1: The Tet Offensive was just confusing.
Man #2: Not really. I understood it completely.
Man #1: Well, let me use an analogy: it would be like if tomorrow, we went into Baghdad and removed all the troops. Is that how it was?
Man #2: Maybe; I don’t know what analogy means.
–Washington Place & 6th
Overheard by: Gradie Smith
Howard Dean: …I think Ferrer can win–
Man: Mr. Dean! I would have voted for you, man!
Howard Dean: …Thanks…
Man: I would have voted for you if you remove all the poison in your
body!…I would have voted for you if you loved America! You would have been a great president, but only if you weren’t so poisonous!
Howard Dean: …Thanks…
–20th & Park
Overheard by: Steve Gartland
