Hobo: Can you spare some change? Or food?
Black lady: Nigga, get a job. This neighborhood's gone too bourgeois for your ass to be begging.
–West 4th
Overheard by: bella
Hobo: Can you spare some change? Or food?
Black lady: Nigga, get a job. This neighborhood's gone too bourgeois for your ass to be begging.
–West 4th
Overheard by: bella
Young boy: Fuck school! When I’m old enough, I’m just going to stay home and make babies.
–1 Train
College professor: Everything that is wrong in this world can be traced back to babies.
–40th & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Just Trying to Smoke in Peace
Girl on phone: I’m going to have to cancel for a few different reasons. First, the baby hasn’t gotten all her shots. And more importantly, there’s something pecking through my wall! I’m really freaked out!
–Bleecker and Lafayette
Woman with three kids, after watching the eldest push the middle to the ground: What are you pushing him down for? Are you trying to upset my stomach so I lose this baby inside me?
–St Marks Place, Staten Island
Girl on cell: Well if she likes to have babies so much, why don’t she just be a … doctor!
–52nd & 7th
Professor: 42-year-old babies don’t have bones.
–Schenectady County Community College
Yuppie #1: I told James I could do it, but it would be better if I worked my way up to it.
Yuppie #2: Gotcha. You think I should film it? I guess I could always delete it…
–Q train
Overheard by: Ben Couch
Woman: When it’s a tampon, you can stick it anywhere.
–59th St
Overheard by: Rich
Woman on cell: …and then this big glop of bloody goop came out, and so I reached into the toilet and squeezed it to make sure it wasn’t a baby…
–13th & Broadway
20-Something chick: My shit bled like it’s never bled before.
–Elevator, 57th & 6th
Overheard by: Matt
Mulleted queer: Imagine if Virginia Slims designed a tampon!–Bushwick, BrooklynOverheard by: ‘nuther black charlie chaplin
Creative genius: Just imagine if I had a tampon gun!
–St. Mark’s
Woman on cell: Well, you can’t just go handing out sanitary napkins to everyone!
–15th & Union Square East
Loud girl on cell: Yeah, so he was going for it, and I was like, “No, baby, I can’t tonight,” and he was like, “Why?” and I was like, “I got it today,” and he was like, “Aww, then nothing for a whole week!”
–CVS, 58th & 9th
Overheard by: Kate Melvin
Hot southern girl #1: So, before I came up here my mom is like, "Be very careful around those northern boys, they think all southern girls just love to cook and fuck."
Hot southern girl #2: Oh my gosh, are you serious? They think that? That’s so messed up!
Hot southern girl #1: I know!
Hot southern girl #2: But I really do love to cook… And fuck.
Hot southern girl #1: I know… Me too.
–Union Square Cafe
Overheard by: Moving South
Chick on cell: God, is she crazy? Even I wouldn’t do that, and I’m a total slut.
–39th St & 3rd Ave
NYU girl on cell: Yeah, she really is a crazy bitch. At least I’m getting a book out of it, though. I’m going to call it Next Year I’ll Be in a New Room, But You’ll Still Be Fucking Nuts.
–Washington Square Park
Conductor: Someone has lost a bag of marbles in the cafe car. I repeat, we have a bag of marbles found in the cafe car. Has anyone lost their marbles?
–Amtrak, Penn Station
Communications & media studies professor: I don’t mean to pontificate, but this is the last day of class and I have some important advice for you — never sleep with anyone who is crazier than you are. It can get you in a lot of trouble.
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Switching Departments
10-year-old boy waiting for mom: Hooray, hooray, I’m insane, I’m insane, okay!
–Outside Met Food, Cortelyou Rd & E 16th St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Leela
Drunk chick #1, as train approaches: Oh, no, here it comes! Quick, put on your sober face! [Drunk chick #2 stands up straight, takes a deep breath, and vomits all over the platform.] It’s okay, you look fine. Just don’t fall asleep on the train again.
–1 train
Red haired woman: Damn it, Michael forgot to pack my lunch again. I am so pissed at him! Arrrrgh!
Big boobed woman: Shhh…shhh… Just get lunch at the store.
Red haired woman: Do they got ribs at the store? Do they got ribs at the store, Portia?
Big boobed woman: You could ask. They have pork.
–A Train
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Old, crazy-looking black dude: The problem, James, is that you’re letting pride go to your head!
White college kid whose name probably isn’t James: Who are you?
–Times Square station
Guy #1, after telling something to friend: You should write that down.
Guy #2: On my arm?!
Guy #1: No, not on your arm, in a note.
Guy #2: I'm not gonna remember to check my note!
Guy #1: Then write on your arm, “check your note”!
–Q60 Bus
