Asian girl: I dunno, I think we should meet up with her.
Tall girl: …yeah, but they have that open bar shit.
–34th & 6th
Asian girl: I dunno, I think we should meet up with her.
Tall girl: …yeah, but they have that open bar shit.
–34th & 6th
Girl to friend: Get all your cheating in before you are married!
–Viacom Building, 44th & Broadway
Angry dude on cell: Well I bet you enjoyed fucking him last night while I was sitting outside your house watching!
–Hudson & Morton
Guy on cell: Hey sweetie… Oh, you’re so out of breath! Did you just finish having sex? [Pause.] Oh, okay, great. Just give me a call later!
–85th & 2nd
[Boy and girl are making out on a bench.]Girl, pulling away: You should really break up with her! [Make out session continues.]
–Entrance to Central Park at West 85th St
Overheard by: Bex
Man to woman, after kissing her for 20 minutes: C’mon, let’s go find your husband and my wife.
–Bryant Park
Man talking to friend in hallway: And so he says to me: "I never promised that I wouldn’t try to sleep with your wife."
–Basement, Mt Sinai Hospital
Overheard by: scrubs
Checkout girl to another: He said it wasn’t cheating because I’m his favorite.
–Food Emporium, 68th & Broadway
Overheard by: David
Drunk black woman #1: No, you gotta put cocoa butter on your legs and drink water. Water keeps your body juicy!
Drunk black woman #2: Jui-cy! Bam-bam!
Drunk black woman #1: That’s right, water keeps you juicy… [Sees young Asian woman smiling at them] Oooh, she know what I’m talkin’ about! She exotic… She an Asian girl.
Drunk black woman #2: Bam-bam!
Drunk black woman #1: Yeahhh… She know what I’m talkin’ about… Oh, shit, it’s our stop… Thank God, because I’m ’bout to squat down somewhere! [Both stagger off train.]
–1 train
Overheard by: amused
Gothic underage-looking stripper: Oh my god we have been looking everywhere for stripper shoes!
More underage-looking gothic stripper: Maybe this is God’s way of telling us not to be strippers.
–Macdougal & Bleecker
Overheard by: Zubin
Little boy, about turnstile: I want to do it!
Father: Okay, but make sure you don’t get decapitated.
–Subway station, Bryant Park
Overheard by: novellas
Brainiac: Maybe AIDS wouldn’t be such a problem in Africa if they’d stop buttfucking each other so much.
–Midtown office
Little girl in car: Dad, slow down! You don't get extra points for hitting pedestrians!
Overly cheerful father: It depends what game you're playing!
–38th & 5th
Man to woman: You wouldn't procreate with Boomer Esiason, even though he's the king of Cincinnati?
–Deli, Canal & Hudson
Overheard by: Uncle Bling
Man on cell: Elvis made ten million dollars last year and he's dead. There's no reason I can't make a thousand.
–Park Slope
Hipster: I like Steve Buscemi a lot more than I like you.
–Life Cafe, Bushwick
Overheard by: D
Woman in Southern accent to man: Look, the McGraw-Hill building. Tim McGraw and Faith Hill must own that building!
–W 49th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Michael
Middle aged white man to friend: I finally figured it out. "Mystikal" sounds like a constipated Samuel L. Jackson.
–LIRR
Guy #1: That’s how you would get a hook-up easy.
Guy #2: Hanging out with a retard?
Guy #1: Everybody, and I mean everybody, knew him. If you hung out with Cooper, you instantly got props or something.
Blonde, laughing: Yeah, that’s all guys need to get girls — puppies, babies or retards.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: MastahD
