Doctor, It Hurts When I Wednesday My One-Liners!

White college girl: I would definitely want to be a doctor, if I didn't have to go to medical school.

–Fordham University

Nurse to another: Well, it seems that the themes of the day were UTIs and pregnancies.

–NYU Student Health Center

Overheard by: had neither

Black male pre-teen to mother: I know all about doctors, 'cause I watch shows about that. (pause) Actually, I watch Dr Phil.

–1 Train

Guy to two girls: I had to fire my doctor, I didn't like what he told me.

–39th & Lexington

Doctor, drawing on napkin and displaying results to student: This is you…in 40 years, in a fugue state. In Turkey. Dissociative fugue–learn neurology!

–168th & Fort Washington

Posted on July 4, 2015
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Doctors, Fordham, Girls, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hospitals, Illness, Jobs & Careers, Medicine, Moms, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Nurses, On the Subway, One-liners, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Psychology, Students, Stupidity, TV, Tweens, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, White People, Wishes & desires

As If She Gives a Fuck What Coloreds Say

Girl from upstate New York: So are there a lot of colored people in Connecticut?

Long pause.

Black girl: We say black people now.

–FIT

Overheard by: LL

Posted on June 30, 2015
Black People, College, Girls, Questions, Race, U.S. Geography, Words

So That’s Genetically Impossible

Latino middle school boy: Barack Obama’s gay!
Black middle school boy: No he ain’t! He’s black!

–F Train

Overheard by: West Coast Courtney

Posted on June 28, 2015
Black People, Boys, Compare/Contrast, Default, Gays and Lesbians, Latinos, On the Subway, Politics, Race, Tweens

Bill Cosby Is Spinning in His Grave

Black Kid #1: Yo nigga, how long are we taking this train up? Yo dumb nigga, answer me.
Black Kid #2: Yo what?
Black Kid #1: How long are we taking this train up for?
Black Kid #2: I don’t know.
Black Kid #1: Niggers are dumb anyway.

–F Train

Posted on June 28, 2015
Black People, On the Subway, Teens

Let's Pray That Doesn't Turn Into “Heil Hitler”

Large middle aged black man: Well hello there little lady, Barack Obama!
Small young white girl: Yeah!

–Rockefeller Center

Overheard by: Meg

Posted on June 27, 2015
Black People, Fat People, Girls, Men, President, Race, Rockefeller Center, White People

Do They Evince Discriminatory Animus against Persons of Color?

Schoolboy in uniform, passing two cops: Run, Alisha! It’s the po-po! Run!
Schoolgirl: What?
Schoolboy: We’re black! Run!

–14th & 8th station

Overheard by: warrfree

Posted on June 24, 2015
Black People, Cops, Kids, Race, Subway stations, platforms, etc.

He Shouldn’t Stand Near the Tuxes

Black woman: You cut in front of him because he’s black!
White woman: I did not, I just didn’t see him!
Black woman: You didn’t see him because he’s too black?

–Bloomingdale’s

Posted on June 24, 2015
Black People, Etiquette, Race, Shopping, White People

Who Wednesday One-Linered Mr. Burns?

Black 30-something man: And she said, "Nigga, you wanna fuck mah titties wit a gun?"

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Amanda R.

10-year-old boy, very loudly, to 10-year-old girl: Oh, yeah, well…how many guns have you ever held?

–5 Train

Middle aged white man in shorts: Anyone awake at 2 am should be shot!

–LIRR

Overheard by: L.C.

Street performer, trying to move crowd: Okay, let's try this! White people, we are not dangerous! (lifts shirt, pats down sides) We are unarmed! Step closer!

–W 45th & 5th

Man on phone: Right. Right. Wait, what? (in shock) He don't got a gun? Well, he has to have a gun! What kinda game do you think this is?

–J Train

Army dude to friends: People shoot at me every once in awhile. Do I get tipped? No, fuck tips!

–Havanna's Bar

Posted on June 23, 2015
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Black People, Friends, Guys, Insults, Kids, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Murder, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Penn Station, Questions, Race, Rack, Sex, Shoot, Should've Used a Condom, Stupidity, Time, Trains Not Subway, Vendors & Street Performers, Weapons, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, White People

Because Those People Are Beyond Saving

Black woman #1: And then she was like, ‘I don’t like fried chicken!’
Black woman #2: How could you not like fried chicken?!
Black woman #1: I know! How could you not like fried chicken?!
Black woman #2: … Well, was she white?

–14th & 1st

Posted on June 23, 2015
Black People, Junk Food & Fast Food, Race

I Meant Nowhere White People Would Want to Go

Blond Tourist Bimbo: I’ve never even heard of the G Train.
Blond Local Bimbo: Yeah, it’s a ghetto train.
Blond Tourist Bimbo: Where does it go?
Blond Local Bimbo: Nowhere.
Black eight-year-old boy: Except my home, bitch.

–G train Hoyt/Schermerhorn station

Overheard by: Ian Robertson

Posted on June 14, 2015
Bimbettes, Black People, Kids, Money & Class, On the Subway

Black People