Anorexic JAP on cell: …No money, so I stopped dating him.
Hobo: Whore.
Anorexic JAP, to hobo: Excuse me?
Hobo: Nice thighs — have another doughnut.
–East Village
Anorexic JAP on cell: …No money, so I stopped dating him.
Hobo: Whore.
Anorexic JAP, to hobo: Excuse me?
Hobo: Nice thighs — have another doughnut.
–East Village
Drunk #1: That girl’s got legs up to her lunchbox.
Drunk #2: Yeah, but there ain’t a lot of protein on them bones.
–Fred’s Bar, South Bronx
Conductor: You keep holdin’ those doors open, I’ll put this train out of service, then you’ll be walkin’ home!
[Several minutes later, a man is still trying to open the doors with his foot.]Passenger: Yo! Somebody please cut that man’s foot off!
–G Train
Overheard by: Johnny Salami
Woman: So what I realized is that doing the right thing is always right.
Man: Yeah, but think about it. When you go to sleep tonight your conscience will be clean.
Woman: Yeah, I have a clean conscience with a foot up my ass.
–M11 bus
Overheard by: Stevo
Chubby girl #1: See the girl in this James Bond poster? If my face got a little skinnier, that haircut would look hot on me.
Chubby girl #2: I'm not sure your face will ever be that skinny again…
–E Train
Teen boy #1: It's like a totally different part of the body.
Teen boy #2: Can you imagine if vaginas had brains?
–Bedford Avenue, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Judgmental Dog Walker
Man #1: It was kind of weird, she was going down on me and then…Well…She stuck her finger in my butt.
Man #2: You’re kidding me! I didn’t realize that Beth was like that.
Man #3: So what did you do?
Man #1: What could I have done? It kinda weirded me out.
Man #3: Man, if my girl ever did that, I think I’d punch her in the face.
–Penn Station
Guy: My eyelashes have decided to declare war against my eyes.
–12th Street & 6th Avenue
Overheard by: E. F. Schubert
Woman: All I wanted was some sunflower seeds and I wound up with my face on a milk carton.
–41st & 5th
Overheard by: rebecca h.
Teen girl on cell: So I finally talked to him and I was like, “Do you have any safety pins?” and he was all, “No!” and then I was like,
“What about all the ones in your face?”
–Red Hook
Overheard by: linda
Boy: Daddy, can I have Skittles?
Dad: No.
Boy: Why not?
Dad: Cause your tummy hurts, remember?
Boy: But it doesn't hurt now, so can I have it?
Dad: No.
Boy: Daddy, can I have some chips?
–Union Square
Overheard by: white ace rules
Girl #1: I think that most men prefer it closed.
Girl #2: You think? I would figure open to be easier access.
Girl #3: Oh, for God’s sake! No one has ever rejected me because of my vagina!
–61st & Madison
