Woman: So what I realized is that doing the right thing is always right.
Man: Yeah, but think about it. When you go to sleep tonight your conscience will be clean.
Woman: Yeah, I have a clean conscience with a foot up my ass.
–M11 bus
Overheard by: Stevo
Chubby girl #1: See the girl in this James Bond poster? If my face got a little skinnier, that haircut would look hot on me.
Chubby girl #2: I'm not sure your face will ever be that skinny again…
–E Train
Teen boy #1: It's like a totally different part of the body.
Teen boy #2: Can you imagine if vaginas had brains?
–Bedford Avenue, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Judgmental Dog Walker
Man #1: It was kind of weird, she was going down on me and then…Well…She stuck her finger in my butt.
Man #2: You’re kidding me! I didn’t realize that Beth was like that.
Man #3: So what did you do?
Man #1: What could I have done? It kinda weirded me out.
Man #3: Man, if my girl ever did that, I think I’d punch her in the face.
–Penn Station
Guy: My eyelashes have decided to declare war against my eyes.
–12th Street & 6th Avenue
Overheard by: E. F. Schubert
Woman: All I wanted was some sunflower seeds and I wound up with my face on a milk carton.
–41st & 5th
Overheard by: rebecca h.
Teen girl on cell: So I finally talked to him and I was like, “Do you have any safety pins?” and he was all, “No!” and then I was like,
“What about all the ones in your face?”
–Red Hook
Overheard by: linda
Boy: Daddy, can I have Skittles?
Dad: No.
Boy: Why not?
Dad: Cause your tummy hurts, remember?
Boy: But it doesn't hurt now, so can I have it?
Dad: No.
Boy: Daddy, can I have some chips?
–Union Square
Overheard by: white ace rules
Girl #1: I think that most men prefer it closed.
Girl #2: You think? I would figure open to be easier access.
Girl #3: Oh, for God’s sake! No one has ever rejected me because of my vagina!
–61st & Madison
Girl to friend: She has a Shakespeare quote tattooed on her body, so she must be smart.
–Bleecker St
Overheard by: Lyssa
Middle aged dude to another: That fucken bitch, man. I wish I had her on a t-shirt instead of on my chest and back.
–Prince & Lafayette
Slightly ghetto white girl on cell: What happens when a bug bites you on your tattoo?
–D Train
Overheard by: 4-dumb
Tourist grandmother to eight-year-old granddaughter: Do, do you like mommy's new neck tattoo? (pause) Yeah, me neither.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Jas
Guy (surprised): But there was no mangina there!
Girl (equally surprised): Yeah! There was nobody wearing any strap-on parts at all! I was disappointed.
–Pete's Candy Store, Williamsburg
Kids: Come on, dad!
Dad: Wait! Don’t go until the bloody hand goes away.
–Times Square
