(man instructing son to stay in the crosswalk)
Man: Don’t wander off into the street.
Son: Why? Why do I have to stay between the lines?
Man: Stay between the lines and you’ll be rich. You’ll be rich.
Son: What do you mean?
Man: It means you get paid if a car hits you.
–Surf Ave & Stillwell Ave
Overheard by: Amanda Haag
Little Boy: Mommy, what’s THAT? [points to tampon machine in the bathroom.]Mom: It’s for girls.
Little Boy: But what does it DO??
Mom: It’s for girls.
Woman exiting bathroom stall: You’re gonna have a hard time explaining this one.
–Barnes and Noble, Park Slope
(looking at the blown up condoms)
Boy: Dad, I don't think those are balloons.
Dad: No, they're balloons.
–Nokia Theatre
Overheard by: Kristina
Girl: That psychic bitch stole our money!
Boy: She told me I was insecure!
Girl: That midget Indian hulk lied to me. He told me palm reading was real!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: rafferty
Second grade boy #1: When we get to be 10 years old we’re gonna grow hair in our armpits!
Second grade boy #2: Oh, yeah, that’s true — it happened to my brother!
–Elementary school
Overheard by: sit down and eat your lunch
Teen boy: I like touching fat people.
–69th St & 5th Ave, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Jon A.
Guy to friends: So I was on the subway the other day and I was counting some guys’ chins and I realized, I’m just not a nice person.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: CUMT
Large black woman on cell: Of course I’m loud, I’m fat!
–25th & 8th
Overheard by: Beckerman
Chick to guy: I’m thinking of keeping it, as an excuse to get fat.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Ladle
30-something with heavy NYC accent: Ya know, if I had to do high school all over again, I woulda fucked a fat chick. I wouldna cared so much.
–34th & 5th
Man yelling on cell: I would be so much better at Jeopardy then her! Her fat Indian hands can’t hit the button as fast as I can!
–35rd St & 5th Ave
Female house manager: He comes over and he’s like: "What are you doing?" and I said: "My job." and he goes: "You’re fat."
–Theater, St Mark’s Place
Overheard by: Mariah
NYU girl #1: I totally want to push that kid in the water.
NYU girl #2: What? Why?
NYU girl #1: Just to watch him drown.
Little boy: What?
NYU girls #1 and #2 (in unison): Nothing.
–Turtle Pond, Central Park
Overheard by: Oh boy
Little boy: Dad, who’s Mahatma Gandhi?
Dad: You don’t know who Gandhi is?
Little boy: No. Was he a sports star?
Dad: Something like that…
–Union Square
Father: Do you want some juice now? Want juice?
Two-year-old boy: Be patient.
–G train
Teenage son, to his white dad: Dad, you look like a homeless person!
White mom: Yeah, you want a dollar, nigga!?
–87th & 3rd
Overheard by: Rob Dobrenski
