Boy #1: What should we do tonight?
Boy #2: We should get a keg of root beer, and a keg of beer.
Boy #1: Or just a keg of beer.
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Amused Passerby
Boy #1: What should we do tonight?
Boy #2: We should get a keg of root beer, and a keg of beer.
Boy #1: Or just a keg of beer.
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Amused Passerby
Girl: But I don't want you to feel awkward.
Boy: It's okay. I love you more than feeling awkward.
–South Street Seaport
Incredibly loud old black woman with cane, addressing two teenage boys with ponytails: Hey! You both got long hair! Are you faggots?
Boys, laughing: Nah, nah.
Loud black woman: You like dick?
Boy #1: Nah, we good.
Loud black woman: So you like pussy?
Boy #1: Yeah.
Boy #2: Yeah, we like pussy.
Random eavesdropping guy: I like pussy!
Loud black woman to boy #1: You a handsome motherfucker. You sure you don't like dick?
Boy #1: Yeah.
Loud black woman: Good. If you was a faggot I'd stick my cane up your ass.
–Uptown 1 Train
Boy to girl bending down at her locker: You shouldn't be bending like that, girl.
Girl, yelling after him: You don't tell me how to bend!
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Girl: I just wanna go home naked.
Boy: Oh, really?
–6th & 32nd
Boy: If my hand was botoxed, could I hold hot things without getting hurt?
–K-Mart, Astor Place
Drunk douchebag: If I was a gay guy, I totally wouldn't cheat on my girlfriend, unless it was with a hot chick.
–Morningside Heights
Overheard by: Ladle
Guy to another, as smoking hot woman walks by: She's so hot I'd eat the corn out of her poop!
–42nd & Broadway
Guy to dinner date: I hate it when people tag me on Facebook. It's like, I'm in sweat pants! I'm a mess! I just ran three miles, leave me alone… You're gonna tag that?! Like "tap that." You're gonna "tag that"? (pause) What do you think about the waitress, pretty hot huh?
–Diner, Washington Heights
Overheard by: April Marks
Girl to boy: You're just upset that I kicked you out without shoes, and I didn't give you cab fare.
–Black Bear Lodge, 3rd Ave
Guy, after cab splashed water on him: That cab just jizzed on me!
–Broadway & Eagerly
Waspy queer on cell: No, no, take the subway. Just for the experience. Don't take a cab. Cabs are for spoiled people.
–M23 bus
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Girl, yelling into window of off-duty taxi: Fine! We're waiting for the cash cab anyway!
–3rd & Sullivan
Overheard by: Heather
Girl, handing boy an iPhone with sleeping screen: Look at this.
Boy #1, tapping all over screen: How do you get this to work?
Girl: Press the button. (boy continues tapping screen) The round button. Press it. (boy continues tapping all over screen) The only button! (boy continues tapping all over screen everywhere except the button)
Boy #2: Wow, dude, you must be awesome with vaginas.
–Mooncakes Foods, Watts & 6th Ave
Girl on date: My mother had an abortion when I was 11.
Boy on date: That must be because your parents realized they could never produce anything as beautiful as you again.
–Awash Ethiopian Restaurant, 106th St & Amsterdam
Tiny boy: I got freedom, yo!
Slightly less tiny brother: I got a bike, yo!
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: Sunny
