Customer: Um, can I get a discount on this coat?
Cashier: Is there anything wrong with it?
Customer: No, I just don't have a lot of money right now.
–Urban Outfitters, NoHo
Customer: Um, can I get a discount on this coat?
Cashier: Is there anything wrong with it?
Customer: No, I just don't have a lot of money right now.
–Urban Outfitters, NoHo
Teen to friends: I want to get a haircut, but every time I get a haircut I get arrested.
–Union Square
Cashier: This line is closed! Unless one of y'all wants to drive me to my hair appointment!
–Home Depot
Woman to friend: Why can't he have a normal man haircut? Like, with short sides?
–Dekalb Ave & Oxford
Overheard by: Daniel Boris Dzula
Manic lady to no one in particular: Pay homage to my hair!
–B61 Bus
Drunk hipster: Donald Trump's hair is the Blarney Stone of New York.
–East Village
Overheard by: Concerned Irishman
Indian counter-person #1 to girl buying beer: Do you want a straw?
Girl: No, thanks.
Indian counter-person #2: I hear you get more fucked up if you drink it from a straw.
–Spring & Mott
Overheard by: Clannah
Lady to cashier: Can you front me a slice 'til I get my check?
Cashier: Sorry, no.
Lady: C'mon, man. I come here all the time.
Cashier: Yeah, so?
Lady: Man, you suck. You don't know what it's like. I have to buy Pampers and food and crack.
–Pizzeria, Harlem
Overheard by: Rufio
Cashier: I'm worried I'm going to get pregnant when I least expect it. It's just going to sneak up on me. And, bam! I'm knocked up! You pregnant?
Cashier's friend: No, but my sister is.
–Old Navy, SoHo
Young cashier: Have a nice day!
Small old lady: What's so nice about it?
Young cashier: That you're still alive.
–W 90th St
Security guard: I hate it when there's nothing to do all day.
Cashier: Today's been good, though. Hectic. Lot of people robbing us.
–Duane Reade
Cashier: What would you like to order?
Tween: A cheeseburger.
Cashier: Do you want cheese on that cheeseburger?
–Wendy's
Overheard by: Chelsea
Employee: They tryin' to tell me I'm bipolar. I ain't bipolar; I just a overprotective parent.
–Chock Full o' Nuts, W 86th St
Overheard by: Emily B.
Calm woman: The thing about being a therapist is that, well, you're just a band-aid.
–W 3rd St
Dude, introducing himself: So, uh, my therapist thinks I'm ready to start dating again.
–F Train
Overheard by: Jenny
Eight-year-old with older man to cashier: He's not my father, he's my therapist.
–Deli, Upper West Side
Cashier: Look, it's $1.99, okay? Then, I take $1.49, okay. So it's two for a dollar, okay.
Customer: I don't get it, it said it was two for a dollar and you are charging me $1.49.
Cashier: No, no, no, see, it's $1.99, okay. I take out $1.49 okay. See, watch. I scan it and it says $1.99. Then I take out 1.49, see.
Customer: No, I don't see, I don't get why you are charging me $1.49.
Cashier: Ugh… Mary*, come here. (speaks to Mary* in Spanish)
Mary*: When she scans it you don't see the real amount because she isn't finished the transaction yet.
Customer: Then why wasn't she showing me that?
Mary*: She did show you that.
–Pratt Institute Associated, Myrtle Ave
Overheard by: Is Subtraction Really That Hard?
